In the Broken Night, Set Against the Sky
by Ly Merrick
Summary: Sequel to On a Clear Night!  Rachel and Quinn have established a stable, tentative relationship with one another, but now they tackle bigger life issues over the summer before Senior Year -sexuality at a young age and family bonds.
1. Before I Burst

**Title**: In the Broken Night, Set Against the Sky

**Pairing**: Rachel/Quinn

**Synopsis**: _Sequel to __**On a Clear Night!**_ Rachel and Quinn have established a stable and loving relationship with one another, but now they tackle bigger life issues over the summer before Senior Year - sexuality at a young age, family bonds, and the unexpected journey everyone must take when confronted with past decisions.

**A/N**: Lyrics are from "Lifeboats" by Snow Patrol. This fic will be plotted out over approximately 10 chapters (1 verse for each chapter), and won't be a songfic like On a Clear Night was. I'm sorry this took a couple days to get out to you guys! I'm so excited to share this with you and really I have no excuse other than my insomnia has been plaguing me and I couldn't function properly much less focus enough to write a quality beginning. I hope you can all forgive me and will grow to love this sequel. I really wanted to raise my standards above everything else I've done so far so I knew if I was writing while running on no sleep, it would just be bad. Anyway, moving on, this fic will be entirely from Quinn's perspective as the journey she and Rachel take together will be based around her experiences and the issues she's yet to deal with. Thank you, again, for the enormous support I've recieved in the past two fics and I hope you all know how much I adore you. _Special thanks to Ashley (you know who you are!) who kicked me in the rump to get this posted: your reviews have been a blessing and you're simply wonderful._

###

Chapter 1: **Before I Burst**

_Hold on, hold on,  
>let me get the words out before I burst:<br>there's no truth at all,  
>poking at the giant eyes of ancient gods.<em>

Quinn's emancipation had come in the form of one very determined Rachel Berry. She would have hardly believed it a year ago, sitting in her sickeningly pastel bedroom at the Fabray Household, that she'd be living with the Berrys and finally accepting of the fact that she really didn't hate Rachel at all. It had taken a lot of work and struggle to get to the point where she was emotionally, not to mention a lot of heartache everytime she forced herself to slushie Rachel over the last bit of school term left before summer. Her mental breaking point had been when Rachel had openly called her out on her 'secret,' alone in that auditorium. God, had she been beautiful and perfect in that moment, the way she'd pulled Quinn to her as waves to a shore, and Quinn had felt herself gravitating without any sense of self-control. She was 17 years old and she had to admit it frightened her being in love with a girl at 17, especially in the middle of rural Ohio. Over the years, though, Quinn had realized that Rachel Berry was nothing if persistent. She got what she wanted and held her head high the entire time. And, Quinn realized, Rachel had wanted Quinn's acceptance long before she wanted Quinn's love. Even when Quinn had been absolutely terrible to Rachel, the diva had somehow managed to beg for compliments like scraps, looking for the smallest bit of softness. She wasn't always good with softness, but she sure did try these days. She tried for Rachel. How did you express emotion when you weren't sure of everything you felt?

The blonde shifted in her computer chair. It was late in the Berry household and Rachel was downstairs with her father's discussing some family business. Quinn rested her head on her knee, leg tucked tightly against her chest, and she was gently running her finger over a copy of Beth's birth certificate. Even though she had given the child up for adoption, she'd requested a copy of the certificate as a sort of momento, a piece of the daughter she'd never have. Lately she'd been plagued by thoughts of Beth, that familiar pang in her heart when she thought about everything she'd miss, and the guilt at bringing a child into the world that she wouldn't ever be able to raise. She'd known at the time she'd made the appropriate decision, the best decision for Beth's future, but there was no pain like losing a child. Knowingly turning your back and walking away was the most difficult thing. Quinn felt stabs of regret and she knew she'd been looking at the certificate for too long again - tears pricked her eyes like hot needles as she touched the tiny footprint. Nobody knew Quinn had this small momento of her daughter, but right now she didn't want anyone to know. As she heard Rachel's hurried footsteps up the stairs, she tucked the paper away in her notebook and glanced apprehensively at the door. Rachel could see through her heart and soul and Quinn really didn't want her to see that she'd been upset.

The door flung itself open and Quinn really didn't have time to register anything until her chair was rolling backward into the desk and Rachel was laughingly pulling herself into Quinn's arms. The brunette's lips brushed against Quinn's, and Quinn couldn't help the smile that passed over her face as she saw that brilliant grin Rachel had. Usually it meant something spectacular was happening or Rachel was thinking of a favorite Barbra song, "What?" Quinn's laughter bubbled out with the question as she looked at Rachel.

"It's summer!"

"I know! We did just get out of school last week, Rach, I was there," Quinn felt a lightening in her heart only Rachel was capable of giving her. It felt sometimes like Rachel was pumping air into Quinn's chest and she was going to explode with joy, or something close to it.

Rachel detached herself from Quinn's grip before she bounced over to the bed and sat down, her petite body joyfully bounding a bit on impact, "Quinn Fabray don't you get a smart mouth with me," Rachel seemed to be managing the most authoritative tone she could, and it made Quinn laugh because that smile on Rachel's face wasn't making anything seem authoritative, "I'm merely excited because summer means the Berry family goes on a hiking trip in Colorado and by extension that means you're coming as well! Daddy, Dad, and I were just talking about it. They of course were giving a few ground rules for us to follow - "

Quinn's grin didn't falter, and she only shook her head a bit as Rachel went on the way she usually did when she was overly excited, and the blonde rose from her chair to lay on her bed just behind Rachel, a hand slipping to Rachel's long brown hair and playing with her locks, just listening.

"And also Daddy said that I get to decide on a trip for just you and myself to take, since he and Dad will be taking an impromptu honeymoon to California. So we have to decide on that mutually," Rachel turned her body a quarter of the way, now facing down at Quinn as one knee brushed against Quinn's. Quinn was idly amazed at the way her stomach still fluttered when Rachel looked at her, or when she tangled her fingers in Quinn's when she wasn't expecting it.

Quinn was used to taking trips as a family but this was a first - a solitary vacation, just her and Rachel? The disbelief must have been all over her face because Rachel was looking at her inquisitively.

"Have you not taken vacations with family before, Quinn?"

"Oh, of course," Quinn shook her head, as if clearing the fog, and did her best to clarify to Rachel what was going through her head, "I have, it's just, a vacation, just you and me?"

Rachel lit up brightly and nodded, her cheeks dimpling as that smile threatened to make Quinn's grow, "Yes!"

"They don't mind? They trust us not to ... ?" Quinn trailed off. She knew the silence at the end of the sentence was enough to make Rachel blush, and blush Rachel did. Profusely. Quinn smiled a little deviously at the way Rachel's eyes were darting around looking for anything to distract her, her fingers unknotting from Quinn's and tucking brown hair behind her ear.

"I mean, of course we haven't even discussed the possibility as I've always been fairly virtuous and you and I have both agreed to - "

Quinn chuckled, sat up, and pressed her lips to Rachel's to silence her as gently as possible, "Relax. I know. I was just saying, ground rules for camping trips and then a vacation alone?"

Rachel nodded, "Admittedly contradictory, but they trust us."

Us. What a funny concept. Quinn hadn't ever really been part of an 'us' even when she'd been in psuedo-relationships with Finn or Puck, but there Rachel was sitting on the bed using the word and they were discussing where to go on vacation - together. As a couple. Like a little honeymoon for teenagers in love. It amazed Quinn, even as she lay there looking up at Rachel, and she reached over, pinching Rachel on the arm enough to make Rachel draw back and flinch.

"Ow! What was that for?" Rachel looked confused and slightly offended.

"I was making sure I wasn't dreaming or making this up."

"I don't believe that's how it works, Quinn," Rachel corrected, and Quinn mused at how cute she looked when she wrinkled her nose in displeasure.

Quinn merely grinned, shrugging her shoulders apologetically before laying back down. She knew all was forgiven when Rachel lay down beside her and rested her head on the crook of her shoulder. She loved the distinct way Rachel smelled, how it was warm and almost undefinable. She breathed Rachel in for a moment as Rachel's arm slipped over her waist and the brunette's fingers cupped her hip.

"Do you really think you're dreaming?"

"Sometimes," Quinn's own honesty surprised her. She knew her voice was lower, softer than usual, as if divulging secrets. She toyed with Rachel's sleeve as she pondered how to continue, "after everything you and I have been through, now I'm living here and we're...together and we're an 'us' and it's all a little unreal sometimes. I always thought, you know, that bad things just happen and I had to accept it. Now that something good has happened, it's hard to accept."

Quinn felt Rachel nod against her shoulder, and felt those perfect brown eyes on her, "I've forgiven you, you know."

"I know." Quinn knew. It didn't mean she forgave herself. There were so many mistakes, so many mistakes she's made. What did it mean to be Quinn Fabray, now? Her whole life had changed over the course of a year.

Rachel's lips grazed Quinn's hand as she took it in her own, "I hope you forgive yourself one day." She'd said it before, but it never really sank in.

"I guess there's just so much change in my life, it'll take a while to realize it all. I mean our high school knows that we're together, so when we go back senior year it'll all be totally different. And then we'll be planning our futures and my family is ... well, gone. For lack of a better word. I'm trying to figure out how to express myself better these days because I know that it makes you feel better, and that in order to make this work I have to learn how to express my feelings, so that's a struggle, too," Quinn's hazel eyes turned to Rachel, who was gazing at her with complete adoration and understanding.

"Quinn, I never want to rush you to change, or want you to change at all," Rachel clarified, as if making sure Quinn understood everything was fine, "I mean, it took us how long to get to this point? We didn't even kiss until ... well, not that long ago," Rachel seemed to flush a bit red at the thought and that caused Quinn to smile. "So it's safe to say slow change is okay. Already being out is big enough and I'm not expecting you to just wake up and feel like this is all normal life for you."

Quinn smiled a bit, feeling a sigh escape her chest a bit as she closed her eyes, resting her cheek against Rachel's forehead. The diva's grip tightened around her waist and Quinn felt Rachel settle closer.

"Besides, we have all summer and we have a lot of life left to tackle before you have to start being serious all the time," Rachel continued on, apparently taking Quinn's silence as a sign she needed convincing.

"I just love you, Rach," Quinn surprised even herself as the words were breathed between them, and she found herself stroking the skin of Rachel's arm, noticing goosebumps there, "I have no doubt that things will be fine, sometimes I just have a hard time believing that it's okay to be happy."

Rachel seemed to accept this answer, and Quinn felt her weight shift. Without opening her eyes, she knew Rachel was sitting up and looking down at her now, most likely with her brows knit together in thought.

"You really believe you don't deserve to be happy?"

Quinn almost wanted to sigh out of impatience. As much as she loved Rachel, she still sometimes asked too many questions. She smiled a bit, satisfying her impatience with silence and a sigh, "It's not so much that, it's just I'm not ... used to it." With that, Quinn wasn't expecting to feel a pair of lips at her ear, Rachel's fingers tangling in her hair, or the weight of Rachel's torso laid across her own and pressed very closely. Quinn gulped a bit, her heart stumbling in her chest a bit as she tried to make the shock of it wear off. Rachel always managed to make Quinn feel electric.

"Get used to it, Fabray," Rachel's murmur was almost too much and images of their few make-out sessions and nearly-intimate encounters flooded Quinn's brain as Rachel's fingers trailed her throat.

Quinn groaned, eyes sliding open, "What are you trying to do to me? This is the girl that blushes when I even mention the idea of - "

Rachel's grin was far from innocent as she drew her tongue over her teeth. Quinn felt her chest tighten in anticipation and anxiousness, words halting on her tongue. Rachel was looking at her in that hungry way she did sometimes, and even her eyes were a bit dilated, "The idea of what, Quinn?" Before Quinn could answer, she felt Rachel's lips brushing over her own and teeth pulling on her bottom lip for a moment.

Quinn felt her breath rasp out. With Rachel in her life, it certainly was full of unexpected surprises lately, like the way Rachel could blush at the mere mention of sex but turn into an absolute sex kitten in the next moment without even thinking, or the way Rachel's hands tangling in her hair and demanding a deeper kiss made Quinn forget everything she was thinking about.

###

It had taken a lot of thinking about zombies and aliens for Quinn to cool herself down when Rachel finally had brought them to a slow halt. They'd had more than a few make-out sessions that almost turned into jumping headlong into the kind of sexual activity they weren't quite ready for. The agreement to take things slow was ever-difficult with Rachel's decidedly surprising episodes of particularly skillful seduction, and as Quinn lay with Rachel in her bed, her heart was still hammering against her ribs insistently.

"Sometimes I can't believe it's you laying with me," Rachel's voice came out of the silence, and Quinn barely noticed they were now laying in the dark, too wrapped up in one another to care enough to go flip the light switch on, "I used to watch you and think you were the loveliest person I'd ever known, even when you were trying to hate me."

It was Rachel's phrasing that told Quinn that Rachel had always known Quinn better than she'd known herself. Her fingers danced over Rachel's shoulder as she pressed quiet kisses to whatever skin she could reach, "Lovely? Really?"

"Really, really. You're beautiful, Quinn, I meant what I said at Prom that night. You know," Rachel breathed after a moment, hands pausing thoughtfully against Quinn's collarbone, "I was the one to tell Finn to get that corsage, to match your eyes. I've always thought you had the most beautiful eyes."

Why was Rachel so good with words? It made Quinn feel inadequate. "Funny that. I was going to say the same thing about your eyes."

"I mean it. And the way you looked in that dress, your hair," Rachel sighed almost dreamily. "It was so hard not to just touch your face that night and kiss your cheek."

Quinn was surprised at this information. It was far before any of their romance had even been thought of.

"I've always cared so much about you," Rachel's voice softened, sounded a little sad, "watched you suffering and wanted to help."

Quinn's heart was swollen with love she couldn't keep to herself, and her chest felt tight again; she pressed an insistent kiss to Rachel's shoulder again, "How did I get lucky like this?"

When Rachel laughed a little quietly, Quinn felt the weight of sadness lift off the diva.

"I mean it, Rach. I'm not very good with words. I know we're only in high school, we've got so much more living to do, but I feel like I just .. I feel like my heart could explode. I love you. You're so kind, and so compassionate, I can't focus sometimes. It's like I have all these feelings going at the same time. I remember that night, though, and you looked beautiful more than I could have said. I felt more loved in that moment than I ever had, when you wanted to help me fix my makeup, dry my tears. It didn't make sense at the time." Quinn took a breath, surprised at all the words tumbling from her mouth, "It makes sense now, though. Hugging you like I did on the stage, never wanting to let go."

"Good, 'cause if you do let go I'm pretty sure Dad's going to be a little upset," Rachel joked sweetly and pressed her lips against Quinn's neck. Her grip tightened.

"Santana would be gagging at us right now," Quinn commented, laughing a little and shaking her head.

Rachel nodded in agreement, "Most definitely, but then she'd be blushing the way she does when she wishes she and Brittany could be as open about everything," Rachel paused in thought, "what do you think about New York, for our vacation after Colorado? I know we were just there for Nationals - "

"Rach, you really don't have to justify New York to me," Quinn chuckled a little throatily and she glanced at the clock. They'd been laying together and talking - and making out - for four hours. Time always managed to make itself disappear with Rachel. "I'd love to go back. Plus, it'd be just us, and we could really explore the city this time. And I like how happy it makes you when you're there."

Rachel squealed a little in the darkness and squeezed Quinn tighter, "Thank you!"

Quinn laughed, rolling her eyes despite the fact Rachel couldn't see it, but maybe Rachel did have a sixth sense because before she could open her mouth, Rachel spoke up again.

"Don't roll your eyes at me. I'll thank you all I want."

###

"Good morning!" Leroy chirped over his cup of coffee as Rachel and Quinn joined him in the kitchen that next morning. It amazed Quinn how much this family enjoyed the early mornings - it was taking Quinn some time to adjust to that.

"Morning Dad," Rachel hugged her father tightly before she made her way to the refrigerator, and Quinn watched her pull out the orange juice. The blonde made her way to the cupboards and got a couple glasses for them both, offering Rachel her gold-star glass and smiling quietly at her before she sat her own down and took the orange juice from Rachel, pouring them both a glass.

"Morning," Quinn added afterward, sitting next to Leroy. She thought it was kind of nice, the way he always smelled like a hint of expensive cologne. Rachel's dads had become her family, and it never failed to surprise Quinn that she felt more comfortable around them than she had around any male in her family, "did you sleep well?" She questioned, earning a pleased smile from Leroy.

"I did indeed," he responded, "Rachel, don't use up all the pancake mix," Leroy glanced up at Rachel, who was busily mixing a large bowl of pancake batter together, "I know you like your pancakes but we'd like to make that last." He chuckled in that warm way he did when his daughter amused him, and Quinn found herself chuckling in a similar fashion.

Rachel seemed to ignore him as she began singing some Broadway tune, dancing to music only she could hear as she made pancakes.

"So did Rachel tell you about the Colorado trip?" Leroy asked as he shook his head in Rachel's direction before getting up to pour himself another cup of coffee, glancing at Quinn with a hopeful smile, "I hope you'll be going with us."

Quinn nodded and sipped at her orange juice, savoring the taste on her tongue before speaking, "I will be, definitely. I'm not very good in the outdoors but I hope you don't mind," her tone was apologetic and she offered a smile that mirrored one she'd give if she stepped on Leroy's toe.

Leroy laughed, a full-on belly laugh, "You can't be any worse than Rachel. She spent the whole trip spraying herself with Off! and telling me the numerous diseases that came from the bug species in the area."

Quinn grinned, dipping her head down and trying not to laugh. She saw pancake batter fly in Leroy's direction and heard Hiram's sleepy reprimand, "Rachel Barbra Berry, don't waste that pancake batter."

Rachel huffed indignantly.

Laughingly, Leroy wiped the batter from his shirt before sitting back down, "Did you girls manage to decide on where you'd like to go for your trip afterward?"

"New York!" Rachel shouted triumphantly and nearly splattered Leroy again as the spatula flung into the air as if she were holding up a trophy or imitating the Statue of Liberty.

"I assume Quinn agreed to this as well, I hope," Hiram kissed his husband good morning, touched Quinn's shoulder, and sat on Quinn's other side. The blonde smiled at how at home she felt, sandwiched on the chair between Hiram and Leroy's chairs, how easily she had slipped into the Berry family dynamic. She felt like she should be glowing because of the happiness in her heart. She nodded simply in answer.

"We didn't really get to have much fun in New York when we were out there for Nationals, so I'd really like to go back there," Quinn finished her glass of orange juice and her eyes flickered to Rachel, who'd turned around and looked at her adoringly, with a bit of a grin. She shrugged a single shoulder and offered Rachel a loving smile before blushing and glancing down.

Rachel managed to finish making the pancakes and dished out plates for each of them, "Thank goodness for vegan eggs."

"Amen," Leroy mirrored and clinked his coffee mug against Rachel's glass.

"New York it is, then. We'll book the tickets and so on later in the day. Do you girls have plans?"

"I think the glee club is planning a cook out tonight, maybe after some swimming," Quinn had almost forgotten about the text from Santana the day before. She'd gotten so wrapped up in spending time with Rachel and family that her normal social activities weren't overwhelmingly important.

Rachel glanced at Quinn from Leroy's side, "Really?"

Quinn nodded, swallowing, "Mm, yes, but we're getting you a bikini that's not argyle first." She grinned at Rachel, "otherwise Santana said you're not allowed," she joked softly.

"I really don't know why everyone insists, it's not like I have that much argyle - "

"You really do, sweetie," Hiram soothed and smiled. "Well, just as long as you girls have a ride back. I'm taking Leroy out for dinner tonight," his loving gaze rested on his husband for a moment before he went back to eating breakfast.

Quinn's eyes fell on the three people surrounding her, all eating breakfast in the easy silence. She had gone from a family that never accepted her to a sort of 'adopted' family that paid for vacations and joked over breakfast and really loved each other. And they really loved her.

It took everything in Quinn not to get choked with emotion. She satisfied her body's want to react to something by continuing to eat her pancakes, all the while smiling at her plate like it had just read her poetry.

###

Quinn hummed absently as she leafed through different swimsuits, Rachel on the opposite side looking through them, and as she glanced up and found brown eyes looking at her, she smiled, then narrowed her eyes as she recognized the look of pleading on Rachel's face, "No argyle."

Rachel huffed and Quinn had to stifle her laughter as she saw brown hair bob off past the rack they were at and disappear into another section. She felt a hand on her shoulder and still quietly laughing, she saw Santana looking a little impatient.

"You really need to tell me next time what store you're going to be at," Santana reprimanded and Brittany came in airily next to her, offering a wave. "We just spent a half an hour looking for you and Jewpacabra."

"Hello to you, too, Santana," Rachel's voice came from nowhere. Quinn looked for her but couldn't see her from behind the racks of clothing.

"It took you a half an hour to walk around a mall in Lima, Ohio? There's like .. maybe 20 stores." Quinn raised a questioning eyebrow and smirked a little bit at the way Santana rolled her eyes.

"We stopped in the Disney store," Brittany answered simply and she held up a stuffed Stitch doll, "San got me a present."

Quinn smiled, and Rachel's head popped up (just barely) over a circular rack, only her brown eyes and nose visible over it, words muffled, and Quinn could hear her croon, "Ooh, that's so cute, Britt..." The way Rachel was looking longingly at the stuffed animal told Quinn she'd be spending a little bit of her emancipation money on some kind of gift for Rachel later. Rachel's head disappeared again, brown hair bobbing closer before she came to Brittany's side. Brittany gladly shared a moment of adoration over the stuffed animal.

Santana only groaned and rolled her eyes. Quinn could only laugh. Rachel was adorable and she couldn't wipe the smile off her face, not for a moment, no matter how much Santana would bother her about it later, "So did Girlfriend get a bikini that isn't argyle?"

Rachel shot a glare at Santana, and Quinn flinched for the Latina as a hanger flew in their direction.

"I'm just saying! You'd look much better in something black," Santana defended, hands above her head as she ducked. "Quit throwing shit, you're not a monkey, although your height is about the same."

Quinn had to duck the next hanger, and caught Rachel around the waist after circling around behind her, placating her with a squeeze, "It's Santana's way of saying she cares and she wants to look at your lady-parts even though they belong to me," Quinn grinned and knew Rachel was blushing profusely by the way she sank backward against Quinn. She felt Rachel's weight against her and the way Rachel's fingers dipped against her arms, her chest deflating in a sigh.

"Please," Santana merely waved the commentary off, looking Rachel over before she disappeared with Brittany, returning with a red bikini in Rachel's size. "Here, shopping done. I don't have the patience to explain to you why this is more fashionable than something on a golf sock."

The foursome made their way out of the store after Quinn paid for Rachel's bikini, and inwardly Quinn was a little more than thrilled to see Rachel in it later. Red definitely would compliment Rachel in a way that would make their agreement pleasantly difficult to abide by. Her hand slipped into Rachel's as they walked, and she sipped at the shake in her hand as Santana explained to Brittany the difference between golf and frisbee golf, with Rachel chiming in with different facts that only confused Brittany more. Quinn's eyes rested on something in one of the windows they passed, a little onesie with the words 'mommy's favorite girl' scrawled across the front. That familiar pang made her halt in her step, and as Rachel's concerned gaze looked her over, she merely shook her head and offered a quiet smile, mumbling something about a crack in the floor.

Quinn had a feeling Rachel knew better, though, because her brown eyes turned back to the window and mirrored Quinn's own pained expression before her hand squeezed Quinn's against her tighter. Quinn was grateful for the silent comfort and Rachel's compassion as they made their way along the line of stores. She felt a little sobered by her thoughts, and as they entered the noisy food court and Santana split off with Brittany to go get Chinese for them, she thanked the heavens for Rachel. The brunette wordlessly slipped her arms around Quinn's waist, Quinn's arms automatically sliding around Rachel and holding her tightly against her, much like the way they'd embraced on the stage - Quinn's face buried gently against the curtain of Rachel's hair and Rachel's lips pressed against the nape of Quinn's neck. Rachel felt perfect in her arms, and Rachel soothed her.

"She's on your mind a lot lately," Rachel's words were only audible by Quinn, and Quinn nodded in acknowledgement, not giving an inch of space between them.

Beth haunted her, and Quinn wondered if she would ever be able to find peace with herself. Rachel's hands sifted through her hair as she pulled away, and those understanding chocolate eyes searched her own. It felt like Rachel saw everything, and Quinn always felt so incredibly bare under that gaze, but not unpleasantly so.

Rachel offered a quiet smile, tracing her thumb along Quinn's face, "It'll get easier, I promise."

Despite Quinn's history of pessimism, she really believed Rachel. Who wouldn't, when Rachel's eyes were so full of love and hope?

###

"Holy shit," Puck nearly dropped the plate of grilled hot dogs as Quinn and Rachel finally came back to the pool area. It was clear he was staring at Rachel in her red bikini, and Quinn couldn't blame him - she'd practically mauled Rachel when Rachel had come out of the bathroom, changed into the bikini. Quinn had made a note to thank Santana later, and she slipped her hand into Rachel's, grinning at Puck.

"How about not staring," Quinn offered with a playful growl and watched as Puck smirked, rolled his eyes.

"Whatevs, you'd be staring too if she wasn't your girlfriend."

Girlfriend. Quinn's girlfriend. Her eyes slipped over to Rachel, who was nervously offering a wave to greet the glee club. She felt Rachel bury her face against Quinn's shoulder and stand behind her, bare skin pressed against her own. Rachel was her girlfriend. Rachel loved her, had picked her. In that moment it hit Quinn so hard she couldn't believe it. She nearly stumbled as she turned around to take Rachel in her arms and embraced Rachel so suddenly the shorter girl had squeaked a little in surprise.

"What's this for?" Rachel asked, her voice wavering as her hands slipped around Quinn and rested on her back. They were pressed flush against one another, and right then Quinn felt the heat from Rachel's skin, realizing she'd forgotten they were both in bikinis.

Quinn didn't know if she was turned on or emotional, or both, but she sighed and rested her head on Rachel's shoulder, "You chose me."

"I did," Rachel confirmed softly and squeezed Quinn closer. The diva seemed to have forgotten they were under the watchful gaze of the glee club as well. Quinn hugged Rachel just a little tighter, felt tears prick her eyes.

"I'm so grateful," Quinn's whisper was so full of feeling she surprised herself. She settled against Rachel a moment more. As she pulled away, Rachel looked simply stunned at the simple but loving admission, mouth slightly agape. Quinn liked making Rachel speechless.

"Hey, Sonny and Cher, do you want to swim or not?" Kurt called from the corner of the pool, where he was examining his manicured nails.

Quinn grinned, raised an eyebrow, and shared a conspiritorial grin before they both simultaneously strode to Kurt's corner of the pool, picked him up screeching by the arms, and threw him in. Rachel's face was alight with laughter until Santana grabbed her by the ankle and pulled her in immediately after; her hand flailed out hand caught Quinn by the wrist, causing a dominoe effect as Quinn felt herself freefalling into the water.

She burst out moments later, gasping for air, laughing and watching Rachel try to peel herself from Santana's slick grip around her waist.

"Oh my god! That hair product was NOT waterproof and it's so expensive! What a waste!" Kurt screeched as he climbed from the pool, looking a bit like a drowned rat, bangs clinging to his eyes as he tried to wipe them away.

Quinn's laughter peeled from her, made her stomach ache, and she saw Santana grinning happily in her direction. Rachel was still trying to peel herself from Santana's grip and calling out for Quinn to eject her immediately but Quinn was too busy laughing out of pure amusement to do anything.

Santana managed to dunk Rachel under the water again, and laughed, breaking away as she climbed out of the pool and hid behind Brittany, who had put little swim trunks on Stitch and was setting him up in a sunbathing chair.

Rachel burst to the surface, cursing at Santana, but Quinn laughingly wrapped her arms around Rachel, feeling her slick skin under her hands and marvelling in the back of her mind at the softness, and felt Rachel go limp in her arms and allow herself to be dragged back from the edge of the pool.

"It's okay, we'll figure out how to pay her back later," Quinn assured as her laughter finally settled down. Santana was still grinning devilishly from Brittany's shoulder and Puck was looking at them all like he was expecting a lesbian orgy but suddenly all Quinn could feel was the way Rachel's skin felt under her fingers and the way the muscles of her stomach felt taut as the water slid over them both. She found herself leaning back against the edge of the pool, still holding Rachel around the waist, a little lost in how Rachel had leaned her wet head against her shoulder and Quinn could feel once again all of the bare skin left to press against her own. She could tell Rachel was a little caught up, too, because her breathing was coming a little short.

That red bikini was going to make it very hard to focus on anything. Quinn didn't really care, especially when Rachel turned around in her arms and pressed herself fully against Quinn, her weight keeping Quinn against the marble of the pool behind her. Quinn's face felt a little flushed, because she felt the muscles of Rachel's stomach pressed so tightly against her own, and the soft flesh of Rachel's top against her own.

Rachel had that hungry look again, and Quinn gulped a bit; the glee club didn't seem to notice the moment of intensity passing between them.

"I really want to kiss you," Rachel said it in a way that made Quinn think she wasn't just wanting to kiss Quinn, that she meant entirely more, and Quinn didn't think she'd argue if that happened. They wanted to limit the PDA in front of the glee club, though, merely because Rachel had explained it felt more personal and private to keep it between them - even though Quinn thought it was also to keep the pressure off of their relationship.

Quinn nodded in agreement, speechless as she felt Rachel's slick arms slip around her neck. Her hands had nowhere to go but Rachel's back, and they itched to go just a little lower to what she knew to be Rachel's best asset. Quinn groaned low in her throat out of sexual frustration, and Rachel grinned wolfishly as if she knew she had the power, especially the way her hips suddenly but subtly pressed against Quinn's. Quinn's hazel eyes wide, she arched an eyebrow afterward, "You're devious."

"I never claimed to be innocent, Quinn Fabray."

Rachel pressed her hips lightly against Quinn's again, too subtle for anyone to see above the surface of the water, and Quinn groaned again. "Yeah, I'm getting that."

Quinn really, really liked summer.


	2. My Turn

**Title**: In the Broken Night, Set Against the Sky

**Pairing**: Quinn/Rachel

**A/N**: Thank you so much already! You guys are awesome and I'm so glad that I'm finally getting this out to you guys. The sequel has me thrilled because I really like what I have planned for it in terms of character development. Lyrics are from "Lifeboats" by Snow Patrol.

**WARNING: Mature content in this chapter. Smutty and wonderful, but mature nonetheless.**

_Sharene19: Hi again! ^_^ Haha, I hope this chapter got up quick enough for you. I'm glad you like it so far! Story isn't any good if the first chapter doesn't hook you, buwahah.  
>spizle: I think you may have mentioned that actually... ;) Lol! I'm really glad you love!<br>Vaneeeyuh: Lol yes ma'am! It's funny, you're like "you should take a break" and I'm like "write write write what's a break? write." There is indeed smut to be had in this fic. I of course am keeping them at an appropriate place but they're teenagers in love.  
>HappyLaura: Thank you for the generous compliment! I don't think I'm brilliant yet, but I'm working on it. I'll certainly appreciate the reviews, that's for sure! It took me a couple days to get this first chapter of the sequel up but I plan on keeping a steady pace of 1 chapter a day (if not more when I'm feeling overzealous).<em>

###

Chapter 2: **My Turn**

_Cool heads have failed,  
>now it's time for me to have my turn;<br>kiss me, kiss me,  
>life's way too short to scream and shout..<em>

The glee clubbers had all but exhausted themselves on splash-fights and grilled food, and as Quinn and Rachel toweled off in the backyard, chit-chatting idly, the sound of keys pulled Quinn from the conversation. "Ride home?" Santana arched her eyebrow, glancing over at Rachel as well. Quinn knew Santana wasn't intentionally doing so, but Santana's eyes were definitely wandering a little too freely, so Quinn found herself spoking a little sharp and giving Santana a pointed shove.

"Yes, S, why don't you go get Stitch and Britt," Quinn added a little bit of a smirk in Santana's direction as if to lighten the harshness of her jealousy. Rachel must have noticed because she was covering herself up a little tenderly with her towel, appraising Quinn with a questioning gaze.

"Cool your jets, Fabray, you should take it as a compliment that me and Puck think your girlfriend looks hot in that bikini," Santana didn't miss a beat and she grinned, egging Quinn on just a little bit by sliding those pure, dark eyes over Rachel again. Quinn's eyes darted to Rachel, who was gulping and self-consciously tucking her damp hair behind her ear, hand hesitating at Quinn's elbow, "besides, I got Britt if I wanna get my lady mack on." She shrugged a shoulder. "No threat, dude," she added, her tone a little softer.

Quinn felt a little soothed by both Rachel's hand on her elbow and Santana's gentle assurance, the way the Cheerio sometimes let her guard down to show her that she really did give a damn about Quinn's feelings. Quinn nodded understandingly, "Sorry," she wasn't one to admit her insecurities and she sure wasn't going to do that right now, with Rachel at her side. She knew that Santana had that kind of allure most girls couldn't resist, and obviously most guys couldn't, either. Yet the better part of her was arguing that Santana, in the end, loved Brittany more than she'd ever admit. Quinn flushed a little guiltily as Santana headed to the car and Rachel was studying her face in that way that made Quinn feel completely bare.

"You don't have to be jealous," Rachel soothed, her eyes lingering on Quinn, and at this point she'd tangled her fingers in Quinn's the way Quinn loved, "I chose you, remember? Just like you said when we got here."

"I know," Quinn hesitated, her tongue faltering against the roof of her mouth. She clicked unsurely and sighed, "I don't know why I felt that way. I'm not normally - "

"It's perfectly acceptable to want to protect me from the leering gazes of those who would otherwise see me unattached," Rachel's wordy explanation drew a smile from the depths of Quinn's pool of confused feelings, "but jealousy is unappealing and I don't want you worrying that I'm going to go deserting you." The way Rachel's brows were knit together, Quinn felt another pang of guilt and offered an apologetic smile, but before she could respond with anything else, she felt Rachel's arms loop around her neck and her familiar warmth pressed into her arms. Quinn's arms tended to act before she thought and they were currently snaking around Rachel's waist, pulling her into an embrace. "You have to trust me, Quinn," Rachel murmured against her ear, pressing a delicate kiss to her earlobe.

Quinn nodded. Did she really not trust Rachel to stay with her? Did she really not trust Rachel's feelings? She did, in her gut she did. Maybe it was just that she didn't trust her own worthiness. It seemed she was always doing that lately and she knew that inner-struggle would eventually affect their relationship if she didn't get it in check, this constant questioning of herself. She didn't have the words to respond with, instead squeezing Rachel against her tighter. She'd lost so much in her life - was she transferring that loss and fear of loss into her relationship with Rachel? Undoubtedly. Did Rachel know it? Of course she did. Quinn loved her for her insight.

"We'll talk tonight, if you want? About ... everything you're dealing with?" Rachel suggested as her warmth regrettably left Quinn's arms, and Quinn settled for holding her hand as she slung a towel over her shoulder and picked up the bag of their dry clothing, making for Santana's car.

"Yeah," Quinn agreed although she didn't know how much she'd be able to share with Rachel. That hidden part of her wanted to bite back at Rachel, tell her that she didn't need to talk about it. Something about Rachel softened her. Though Rachel was matching her stride for stride across the lawn after waving goodbye to the remaining glee-clubbers, she could tell Rachel wanted to say more but didn't know what to say. She squeezed Rachel's hand tightly, offering her an assuring smile. "It's going to be fine."

"I know," Rachel soothed, her serious demeanor melting away. It consistently made Quinn feel absolutely flabberghasted that Rachel could turn the switch and be cheerful all the time. She wished she could do the same thing. The smile she offered Quinn was enough to melt even the iciest of hearts.

Quinn spotted an impatient Santana watching her from the car, Brittany sitting with Stitch in her lap.

"Damn Q, you might as well have cut off your legs and tried to walk on your hands with how long that took," Santana shot over the back of the seat as Quinn and Rachel slipped into the backseat together. "I respect the need for a quickie but you need to get that shit on lock and make it an actual quickie next time."

Rachel blushed, and Quinn rolled her eyes, her smoky voice responding mid-chuckle, "Obviously, because I really want Puck within eyesight when Rachel and I do that."

"It's not so bad, actually, he's pretty quiet, or at least he was on our date," Brittany commented simply, shrugging her shoulders.

"Gross," Rachel's nose wrinkled in disgust and shared a look of displeasure with Quinn.

"Agreed."

"Don't judge, bitches," Santana waved a hand in dismissal. "He wasn't even involved, just an excuse."

###

The car arrived a short time later - after cruising around and talking shared between the foursome - and Quinn felt a little bit of dread. Time to talk about her feelings, she knew, and she felt Rachel's arm slip around her waist and the weight of Rachel's head against her shoulder as they made their way up the driveway and into the house. She was almost to the point of regretting agreeing to a talk until Rachel's soft kiss brought her out of thought as the door closed. It was gentle and undemanding, a kiss to remind her that she could trust Rachel just to listen.

Hiram and Leroy were still out to dinner, the house dimmed with inactivity as Rachel wordlessly lead Quinn up to her bedroom. The scent of Rachel's perfume settled Quinn's nerves a bit more as she sat down on Rachel's mattress and watched Rachel move about the room, picking various items up. She wasn't saying anything and she knew Rachel was waiting for Quinn to decide when she wanted to talk.

"I think it's mostly because of Beth," Quinn began sometime later, when Rachel had run out of things to pick up and was instead picking at the corner of her desk. "And my family. I've been thinking about it a lot lately and I just - I know we've talked about this before but I just feel like maybe I deserved to be left."

Rachel settled next to Quinn on the mattress, and Quinn expected her to start refuting the claim but surprisingly the diva had stemmed the urge, judging from the stifled expression on her face, and the way she was biting her lip as if to keep her words from coming out.

"I know that's not really true, not deep down, but it's hard not to feel that way when the people who're supposed to love and protect me completely abandoned me, broken record, I know," Quinn sighed at her own dismissal, "and then I feel just as guilty for doing the same thing to Beth even though it was the best thing for her and my head is full of contradictions," all of a sudden the words were spilling out of her like water from a fount, "and you mean more to me than I ever could have expected. I still replay the simplest things in my head between us, that morning I came in your bathroom and just hugged you and how fiercely I needed you and Jesus, Rachel, I just feel completely overpowered by how I feel."

Rachel had gone from looking stifled to stunned, and the brunette reached over, gently stroking Quinn's arm. She wasn't speaking, or moving, and Quinn felt like she'd just spilled everything into the open and not made a damn bit of difference and she just really wanted Rachel to say or do anything. Rachel remained unmoved from her position next to Quinn, and her voice remained just as still.

"Say something, Rach," Quinn pleaded desperately. "Do something, anything. I feel completely vulnerable here and you're - "

She was cut off by the distinct feeling of Rachel toppling her over and crushing her lips against her own in a desperate and longing kiss. From emotional to turned on, zero to sixty, Rachel was so good at doing that, and Quinn felt herself melt into the mattress as Rachel's torso pressed against her own. What started out as several desperate connections of Rachel's lips to Quinn's became one slow, solid kiss that took over Quinn like fire. She felt it wash over her and enflame her. Rachel had somehow moved a thigh between her legs, and was pressing her hips down to Quinn's and Quinn had completely forgotten they were still in shorts and bikini tops until, dear God, she felt Rachel's stomach slide against her own and her top inch up ever so carefully. That was definitely Rachel's breast pressing against her own and Quinn was aching all of a sudden.

She didn't know why Rachel was so emotionally desperate or practically mauling Quinn in reaction to everything Quinn had said but she wasn't exactly complaining. This she could do. Feelings were harder, they were there but still enormously difficult to process. Rachel was panting against Quinn's mouth and her eyes were darkened dangerously, and Quinn just about lost it as Rachel's tongue dipped against her top lip and slowly sought the response of Quinn's, because god damn did Rachel know how to use her hips against Quinn's better senses.

Rachel was moaning against her mouth and Quinn couldn't quite remember when her hand had started to untie Rachel's top but there it was, pulling the knot out and feeling the strings tantalizingly fall across her stomach. Quinn almost thought Rachel was going to stop her - that is, until Rachel finished the job for Quinn and threw the top on the floor, simultaneously kicking the door shut. Quinn felt a surge of arousal at the sight of Rachel's perfect figure, her body surging to life.

A flash of insecurity passed over Rachel's features, but Quinn stopped her by sitting up - fighting back a moan as Rachel's bare breasts pressed against her flesh - and crushing her lips to hers, panting out an assurance, "You're gorgeous," even though she'd never had any doubts about how gorgeous Rachel's body would be. This seemed enough for Rachel, because she groaned into the kiss and surged forward with new passion, again pressing Quinn into the mattress, but this time using one hand to tangle Quinn's fingers in her own and pinn her hand to the mattress, dragging her deliciously bare torso against her own and rolling her hips downward. Rachel was indeed a natural at seduction. Rachel's free hand dragged a finger along Quinn's throat, down between the valley of her own breasts, and Quinn felt her breath surge in her lungs as she gasped. The way Rachel was looking at her, those brown eyes lowering with the touch of her finger as she toyed with Quinn's top.

"Are we .. ready for," Quinn panted out the best she could, eyes fluttering shut as Rachel began untying Quinn's top, "are we ready for this?"

Rachel nodded, quickly and insistently, somehow like a magician managing to make Quinn's top reappear on her floor without Quinn even noticing. Rachel was absolutely devouring her, her chest rising and falling, and Quinn didn't know if she was more distracted by Rachel's perfect body or the way she was sucking her bottom lip between her teeth as if she was imagining devouring Quinn. Rachel wasn't even touching Quinn at that very second but she could feel Rachel's eyes raking across her now-bare torso like greedy fingers. Quinn was trying to process the fact that she really couldn't breathe and she was so far beyond turned on, but all thought flew out the window as soon as Rachel's mouth dipped to her throat and covered her racing pulse, their bare skin gliding across one another's. Quinn moaned, fingers finding their way to Rachel's shoulders and pulling her tighter against her, crushing the smaller girl against her, unsure if she just wanted more contact or more of Rachel's lips on her skin. Rachel's fingers were dancing intensely along Quinn's hips and back up her sides, sending electricity all through them.

Quinn was all but writhing underneath Rachel's seemingly expert touch. There was no doubt that Rachel wanted her, and her alone, with the ferocity she was attacking her, and she couldn't breathe but she really didn't want to as she felt Rachel's lips move lower and lower. Those perfect, supple lips were brushing dangerously close to Quinn's very aroused nipples, and as she felt teeth graze the right, she surged upward in surprise. "Rachel," the name escaped her like a sigh, and she felt Rachel's fingers sliding to meet the left and satisfy the need for balance. Rachel was biting and pinching and Quinn was gasping, suddenly very aware of the fact that she, too, liked stars, because they were dancing around her head at the moment. Quinn could feel her arousal as her hips bucked upward. Thoughts flooded her mind, images, her mouth on Rachel's skin, and she was shivering in delight as Rachel's tongue flicked over her sensitive areola. "Um, God," her head dipped back against the mattress again - she'd craned her neck up slightly just to take in the sight of Rachel's hungry mouth devouring her very aroused flesh, only to become even more aroused, and she was sure that the thoughts she was having were more than what teenagers should be having.

Seconds away from begging Rachel for more, she felt Rachel's hips move downward again, and the hand previously tangled in Quinn's was now sliding down Quinn's torso.

"Did you read a manual or something?" Quinn gasped as Rachel's lips finally reconnected with her own, and she felt the hum of Rachel's laughter against her lips before they both gasped in total arousal as Rachel's fingers slipped to Quinn's thighs. She kissed Rachel more insistently, sure that she probably mumbled out a 'please,' against Rachel's mouth as she felt Rachel's fingers dancing along her inner thigh. She needed Rachel in a way she'd never needed anyone else; she needed Rachel very emphatically inside of her.

Complying, or merely satisfying her own need, Rachel slipped her fingers just low enough to untie the side of Quinn's bottoms and slip them off her, leaving Quinn bare for only a minute before she felt her slickness covered with insistent fingertips drawing shapes against her clit. The noises coming from Quinn's mouth could only be described as animalistic and primal as she crushed her lips against Rachel's, panted, hands flying to Rachel's shoulders as her hips bucked upward into every grazing of her very aroused self. The things she wanted to say were absolutely vulgar, she was sure, so she settled for biting Rachel's lips in plea.

Rachel seemed uncertain, but only for a second as she dipped two fingers inside Quinn, pressed against her walls and sought out the most intensely sensitive places inside Quinn. Quinn had never felt so completely turned on even as someone was already inside of her. Rachel's knuckle grazed a seemingly sensitive spot, and Quinn ground her hips into the touch.

"Jesus, oh Jesus, God," Quinn blasphemed and didn't give a damn because she felt so good she needed this, needed Rachel inside of her. It got more intense the moment Rachel gasped against her lips.

"I need you, too," Rachel pleaded and Quinn knew exactly what she meant. Quinn didn't know exactly how it worked, but it all seemed to come natural as her arm fit between them, her hand finding Rachel's slickness, and they simultaneously gasped as Quinn's fingers slipped inside Rachel. Her fingertips curled against Rachel's heat, and Rachel's hips canted downward. Soon they found a matching rhythm and Quinn was so close to the edge that she was sure she was going to see white when she finally came. Rachel was getting more insistent, hips rocking against Quinn's fingers and her own fingers driving inside of Quinn in a rough way that made Quinn only want more. Rachel bit Quinn's lip, kissed her, panted, and Quinn was with her every thrust and every canting of her hips.

"Fuck," Rachel shivered as the word found it's way from her throat, a strangled moan as Quinn's thumb brushed over her clit. Quinn wanted to be deeper inside of Rachel, needed to be, and Rachel saying such a word only seemed to make Quinn more desperate for that edge, that freefall.

Quinn moaned aloud, unexpectedly, as Rachel's fingers dug deep inside of her, so far back she couldn't even think, her fingers faltering inside of Rachel as she arched up into the thrust, teeth digging into Rachel's shoulder. She saw stars dot her vision, her eyes slammed shut, and her insides gripped Rachel's fingers. Her whole body was rigid and she shook as her head fell back. She regained enough consciousness to open her eyes, seeing Rachel's dilated eyes staring amazedly at her face, and idly she felt her own fingers begin to move inside Rachel again, wanting to show her exactly what she'd just been shown.

"Ready?" Quinn all but gasped against Rachel's mouth as Rachel's fingers slipped out of her, allowing Quinn to dip her own fingers deeper into Rachel. She massaged her slick walls in circles, insistent, hungry, and fascinated with every crevasse inside of Rachel.

Rachel moaned, nodded, her head dipping down against her lips again as she rolled her hips against Quinn's touch. "I'm ... "

Quinn didn't give her time to finish the sentence. She found that one perfect spot, fingers driving in circles against the parts of Rachel no one had ever gotten to have, hungry, wanting to devour every bit of this moment as Rachel broke away and cried out, losing all verbose skill as Quinn felt Rachel's insides clench tight, then release. She'd never felt something so absolutely wonderful in her life and from that, she vowed she'd make Rachel Berry do that every day for the rest of her life if it was possible. Rachel came dazzlingly, features contorted in sensual ecstacy, and Quinn was in awe as Rachel finally came down from the high of it, Quinn's fingers slipping outward.

This is what mattered, right here, this moment of pure love and pleasure. Quinn felt Rachel's lips crush to her own as her petite body limply rested against Quinn's, physically spent although sometimes her hips still jerked quietly against Quinn's, as if her muscles were still twitching. Quinn kissed her fiercely, remembering her desperation in every embrace, and before she realized it, she was crying. Quinn was crying, and Rachel was kissing her to soothe her tears.

"Did I hurt you?" Rachel questioned, worriedly.

Quinn shook her head, "Happy tears," she'd never felt like this. Never felt so totally emotional and completely aware of the swelling in her heart, "I love you so much," she kissed Rachel, her tears mixed with the kiss. There were absolutely no words for the feelings in her heart, the feelings surging through her with such intensity it was causing her to cry. She'd never thought she'd be practically bare-bodied, entwined with Rachel, but as she rolled the brunette over and delicately covered them both for privacy's sake, she continued peppering loving kisses along Rachel's jaw.

Rachel shakingly clung to her, fingers etching half-moons into her shoulder, and they embraced as lovingly as they had that first morning, when Quinn had felt that surge of love that could only be elicited by Rachel. They eventually clung to each other in mutual affection, full of need, as if they couldn't be close enough. Both physically spent, Quinn fell asleep to the sound of Rachel whispering, "I love you, I love you, I love you," against her ear, and woke up the next morning with Rachel wrapped just as tightly in her arms as when she'd fallen asleep.

###

"Hiking!" Rachel jumped happily in the kitchen. The Berry family had all their bags packed, ready to go. Hiram and Leroy were none the wiser about Rachel and Quinn's intense first time the night before - the only sign were the too-bright smiles and the flush on their cheeks as they had entered the kitchen - but Quinn was pretty sure all those ground rules and that vacation to New York would be trumped by the knowledge Rachel was now sexually active, at least for the most part.

Leroy grinned, "Funny, you hate the outdoors but you're always so excited about this trip," he shook his head a bit at the irony and Quinn had to smile.

"It's beautiful out there, Lee," Hiram reminded his husband and smiled a bit as he took a couple more bags out to the car, including the bags Rachel and Quinn had set aside earlier that morning after scrambling to clothe themselves.

"Correct. Who wouldn't be glad to go there?" Rachel bounded to the refrigerator as her dads made their last preparations before leaving. Quinn smiled at Rachel in a soft, loving way, although the playful glint in her eye couldn't be hidden as her face flushed warm with thoughts of the night before. Rachel. Being inside Rachel. Hearing her moan. Rachel blushed a bit, drew her bottom lip in between her teeth before she appeared to distract herself with orange juice, sipping at it carefully, all the while her eyes lingering on Quinn's.

Screw ground rules, Quinn thought devilishly to herself as she leaned against the counter and held Rachel's gaze in a provocative manner, the all-but empty kitchen a tempting place to break several rules of both privacy and modesty.

They stayed like that - locked in each others' gazes - until Hiram let out a sharp whistle, "Time to go, girls!"

Rachel broke into a grin and ran for the door. Quinn followed shortly after, and they piled into the family SUV. Quinn slid right next to Rachel, taking her hand in her own and holding it tightly. Quinn's eyes were drawn to Rachel's face, alight with the early morning sun, and then to the sight of Lima slowly passing them by. They passed Santana's house, and a few other familiar houses, before Quinn recognized Lima's farewell sign approaching. She felt a lifting of her heart, and she felt Rachel settle her head against her shoulder.

Quinn loved the way Rachel felt in her arms, and as she slipped her arm around the brunette and tugged her closer, she found herself feeling a surge of joy as the farewell sign came and went, the highway stretching ahead of them, several days of driving plotted out. Quinn loved a good road trip; the prospect of a road trip with her new family made her feel completely overjoyed, especially with Rachel's hand resting on her arm. Hiram and Leroy were singing back and forth as Lima was further and further behind them. She even found herself singing along with Leroy when he broke into a rendition of a Frank Sinatra song, her smoky voice causing Rachel to look over at Quinn with something the blonde could only imagine was an expression of affection and lust.

###

Day 1: Road Trip

"Don't forget my Barbra CD!"

"I know, I know, you only mentioned it six times in the last hour before this rest stop."

"Well, Quinn, you don't expect me to make it through this road trip without Barbra, do you?"

###

Day 2: Road Trip

"Hiram, would you please stop singing out of key? It's painful."

"Well that's just rude."

"You two shouldn't be fighting! Quinn and I got so little sleep last night and I'm so very tired - "

"Whose fault was that, Rachel?"

"Quinn's! She wouldn't stop telling me terrifying tales of zombies and invasions and biological warfare!"

"Someone had to talk about something besides Broadway."

"So you thought biological warfare was a decent option?"

"As good as any."

"Leroy, don't encourage her!"

###

Day 3: Road Trip

"I just can't even with you right now. There is no way Barbra would ever lower herself to the standards of a badly-written, off-Broadway production this late in her career."

"Did you hear her last album?"

"How dare you!"

###

Day 4: The Arrival

Quinn had never before been so glad to be out of a car in her life. She hadn't gotten irritated so much as she had gotten completely amused by the Berry family, but she needed to stretch her legs and she was really looking forward to sharing a tent - alone - with Rachel. They'd been sleeping in a double-bed together but with Hiram and Leroy sleeping in the bed next to theirs, it was quite a problem when Rachel decided to sneak in kisses and tease Quinn until she felt like she was going to burst with need for Rachel's bare flesh.

She stretched her arms high above her head, yawned as her body retrieved oxygen for tired muscles. Rachel's hand slipped around her waist, and they both took in the vast expanse of mountain and forest below them.

"I've never been out this far," Quinn spoke quietly, and she heard Rachel's dads unloading their bags and the distinct clink of tent poles as they set up the campsite. "We always went East, not West."

Rachel smiled, her brown eyes sparkling as she looked up at Quinn, "It feels nice, doesn't it?"

"It feels like being free." Quinn smiled at her own words. Rachel had been her emancipation in so many ways and this was just another. "Like I'm finally accepting good change in my life."

Rachel glanced back nervously before placing a soft kiss on Quinn's cheek - Quinn assumed she didn't want Hiram or Leroy to think there was a reason to separate the girls into different tents.

"Thank you," Quinn breathed her gratitude as she looked down at Rachel, "you have no idea, all the good you've brought into my life."

Rachel flushed at the compliment, and they shared a loving gaze, "You deserve it."

###

That night, the Berry family was gathered around the campfire, Quinn included. They had all decided to stay at camp the rest of the evening, as they were all tired from the long road trip it had taken to get there. Quinn rested with her back against Rachel's knees, and listened to Hiram's idle chatter. A blanket was gathered around Rachel's shoulders, and she felt Rachel's bare skin against her shoulderblades. The blonde glanced back, sharing a soft smile in the firelight.

"Did I tell you the story about the maneating bear?" Quinn couldn't help the devious grin that fell on her lips just before Rachel smacked her face with the tassles of the blanket.

Rachel narrowed her gaze, "Don't even. It's bad enough I have to worry about the potential of disease much less getting eaten by a large, large bear."

"There are actually bears in the area," Leroy commented off-handedly, but when he recieved a cranky glare from Hiram, he smiled apologetically, "but the park takes safety precautions for campers to deviate bears from invading campsites."

Rachel didn't seem soothed at all, and Quinn smiled a bit apologetically as she lifted herself onto the log beside Rachel. She bumped Rachel's shoulder softly, and saw Rachel's resolve falter and melt under her hazel eyes, "I suppose the likelihood of a bear attack is relatively low, as in all the years we've been coming I haven't seen an aggressive oversized ball of fur lumbering toward our camp."

Rachel's dads, and Quinn, all respectively shared a chuckle. Comfortable silence befell them, and Quinn found herself looking across the fire at Leroy, who was lovingly fixing his husband's hair.

"When did you guys come out?" Quinn questioned, at first surprising herself. She hadn't really thought of asking before. She hoped the inquiry wasn't too invasive.

Hiram glanced at his husband, "Well, Leroy came out far before I ever did," his willingness to answer soothed Quinn's nerves, and she felt Rachel's eyes on her. She knew if she caught Rachel's eyes, she'd see curiosity in them. "I was 30 before I even met Leroy and I was still in the closet. Being a part of a Jewish family makes it difficult to deal with the idea of being homosexual," Hiram admitted, and Quinn smiled at the way Leroy took his hand to comfort him on the subject. "I came out two years after we started dating. It was a hard decision for me, because it went against a lot of what my family wanted for me. Then I just realized that being with Leroy made me happy, and that's what was important."

Leroy nodded, "It was a hard decision and it's something we did together. I was already out to my family but they had only met Hiram as a good friend, up until Hiram was ready to come out."

Quinn digested the information, nodding in acknowledgement. "What about ... adopting Rachel?"

Adoption. They all knew the subject was tender for Quinn, and understanding expressions passed over all three of the faces looking on.

"Quinn," Rachel began, softly, her hand resting on Quinn's knee, "you don't have to..."

Leroy cleared his throat, "We always were open with her, about who her mother was. We always told her that her mother had given us the greatest gift and given her the greatest opportunity," the fondness in his voice was clear as he looked at his daughter.

"Do you guys think that I .. " Quinn hesitated, choked on her words, and found her hand seeking the one resting on her knee. Her fingers tangled insistently with Rachel's as if depending on Rachel to keep her momentarily grounded, "do you think I made the right decision?"

Rachel's dads exchanged a look of sympathy, and Leroy was again the one to respond, "I think that any girl your age couldn't have raised a child yet. Even with support, it would be incredibly difficult and you'd always wonder if someone else could have given Beth more of a chance to succeed in a very judgemental world."

Quinn swallowed the knot in her throat.

"And, knowing Shelby, there will always be a chance to see her, when and if you're ready."

###

Rachel delicately tugged Quinn into their tent, settling onto their shared air-mattress, covered in a thick sleeping bag that draped over them both like a comforter. Quinn felt a little better, after her talk with Rachel's dads. She'd never known what it was like to have a parent that you could openly ask anything, and it was overwhelmingly comforting to know that Hiram and Leroy cared about her as they did their own daughter.

What was more, Rachel loved her, and that felt better than anything. As Quinn felt Rachel pull her into her arms, Quinn closed her eyes and breathed in Rachel's scent. She clung to the shorter girl, buried her face in brown hair, and listened to the night around them.

"Would you..?" Rachel asked suddenly in the dark, quiet, barely a whisper but enough for them to hear.

Quinn knew what Rachel was thinking, and she took a deep, steadying breath, "Maybe. I'd like to, you know, just so I .. knew she was doing okay, that she was happy."

Rachel held Quinn tighter, or vice-versa because Quinn wasn't sure, and she didn't add anything just yet, the way she did when she wanted Quinn to say more.

"It would be kind of nice," Quinn furthered the subject, "and maybe you'd like to see your mom," she hesitated on that one. She knew Rachel had a very complex bond with her mother, but it was her way of saying she wouldn't see Beth without Rachel. She needed Rachel, to hold her up in case she felt too weak to process what it was like to see the daughter she'd given up.

"Maybe," Rachel echoed, and her fingers traced shapes into Quinn's shoulderblades. "It might be good for us."

Silence befell them, and Quinn leaned up in the darkness, brushing her lips over Rachel's lovingly, wanting to communicate both her love and support of Rachel, as well as her gratitude for the same. "We don't have to decide right now, you know?" Quinn spoke as she pulled away.

"I think it's best not to," Rachel's voice sounded similar in tone - a little unsure, but mostly confident that they were making the right decision.

Quinn smiled in the dark, even though Rachel couldn't see, and leaned down to capture another kiss, "Look at us, being all grown up in deciding things."

Rachel's laugh warmed Quinn's heart, and Quinn sighed as she fell asleep to the sound of Rachel humming the familiar song that had brought them together in the first place.

_"So grow, tall, sugarcane; eat that soil, drink the rain," _Rachel's voice was quiet, but the notes were soothing this time around. Maybe it would be a good idea. And just maybe everything would be fine. Quinn thought, all these maybes meant something, and sleepily her brain mused that it was her turn to be happy.

###

"Colorado awaits!"

Quinn awoke alone, but Rachel had burst into the tent like a bear herself and forcefully tugged Quinn from bed. Her eyes blinked to adjust to the light, she yawned and groaned a bit. "We really need to work on your morning voice," Quinn's smoky voice rasped, earning laughter from the two Berry men onlooking.

"I've been telling her that for years," Leroy winked at Quinn, and Quinn could only smile sleepily in response as she felt Rachel shoving hiking clothes into her arms and instructing her to go get dressed as soon as possible.

Colorado was before them, hiking trails and all. Summer was just beginning and Quinn couldn't think of any other way she'd rather spend it, the sun beating down on her shoulders and Rachel busily shoving her into a camping tent, morning voice chirping and all.


	3. The Veins of You, the Veins of Me

**Title**: In the Broken Night, Set Against the Sky

**Pairing**: Quinn/Rachel

**A/N**: Sincere apologies that I didn't update last night. I intended to, but uhh, well I partook in a little bit too much alcohol so obviously that was a no-go. I'm hoping to get this posted up for you guys by the morning and then start work on chapter 4 later in the day to make up for it. Lyrics are from "Lifeboats" by Snow Patrol.

_HappyLaura: Hah, yeah, I'm not patient enough to wait that long to update a story. I get really invested in them once I start writing and I want to see the end just as quickly as everyone else does, in the sense I get excited to see where it'll end up (I don't write out detailed plot-lines, I let the story take its own shape). The smut scene was hella fun to write, haha.  
>faberrydragon: I'm so glad! :D Thank you!<br>Vaneeeyuh: I love Rachel for all the right reasons, so when I'm writing her, in my head I picture all my favorite things about her a little exaggerated (her speaking in entire paragraphs, her obsessions, my girlfriend says I'm way too much like Rachel, lol, 'cause everything Rachel does/says, I usually do). I'm glad you approve of the smut scene, too. :P I'm trying to open Quinn up a lot more. To me I percieve her as a very quiet person with a lot of internal dialogue, so opening her up more to Rachel pushes me to stretch the limits of her character; in a lot of ways I go through the same struggles in writing Quinn as Quinn has in growing more emotionally open.  
>seyan: I'm so glad you liked the first one, too! It was my first Glee fic so I really feel like I struggled with that one, but as the story progressed it got smoother. I also just adored the way Rachel and Quinn were together so I knew I had to write a sequel, especially because Quinn had a lot more growing to do. Thank you for your gracious review!<br>Sharene19: Thank you so much, again. You're always so kind! I love the way they are, too. Quinn isn't completely open yet and it'll take her a couple stumbles before she gets to that place where she can voice everything she's feeling, but she'll get there before the story is over. ^_^_

###

Chapter 3: **The Veins of You, the Veins of Me**

_Flashed up in my wildest dreams, the dark red blood streams,  
>stretching out like vast cracked ice;<br>the veins of you, the veins of me, like great forest trees  
>pushing through and on and in..<em>

###

Quinn's breath was rising and falling, little droplets of sweat falling down the back of her neck. She pulled up the back of her shirt a little to brush them away - she hated the feeling of sweat beading in her hair - and gave herself a moment to catch her breath. Somewhere ahead of the trail, Rachel was singing out a Barbra tune, and Quinn had to laugh when she heard Leroy's voice in the same direction. It amazed Quinn that Rachel was probably yet to break a sweat. The Berry family was apparently very fit, and all Rachel's mornings on the elliptical really must have done something for her endurance.

"Rachel, you're going to make the bears angry."

"I'm sure even bears have an appreciation for all the genius that is Barbra."

Quinn shook her head, smiled. She shifted the hiking backpack on her shoulders a little; it was chafing a bit on her bare shoulderblades, and Quinn was pretty sure they'd been at it for about four hours already. Since there were a few more miles to go, she didn't want a raw shoulderblade by the time they made their way back down to camp.

"Why don't we try some Cher for a change?" Quinn called up the trail, grinning as she heard Rachel gasp at the words. Quinn couldn't see her face, but she was pretty sure Rachel had gasped in disbelief.

Rachel's voice shot back, "She's not even on the same level, Quinn!"

"I take offense to that. I love Cher," Quinn stated as her feet started forward again. She wasn't as far behind as she thought she had been, because Rachel was within eyesight in the next couple of moments, stopped on the trail with her arms folded over her chest. She didn't even look slightly worn from their four hours of hiking, and her hair even managed to look perfect. Quinn was pretty sure that her own hair made her look like Mufasa, because it tended to frizz when she got too hot.

"That's why they invented headphones."

Quinn smiled challengingly, "Oh really?" She arched an eyebrow in the way she used to, the way that always made Rachel hesitate and falter at whatever argument she was trying to make. It worked this time as well, because Rachel visibly gulped and looked torn between shrinking away or kissing Quinn. "Oh, speechless, Berry?" Quinn teased as she approached Rachel, nudging her shoulder delicately as she passed her. "Come on, you missed your chance to have a break."

Rachel's hurried footsteps caught up with Quinn, and Quinn could feel those perfect brown eyes on her. She loved Rachel's face, the way her lips pouted naturally, the way her soul poured out through her eyes no matter who she was looking at. Silence befell them and Rachel was playfully bumping her shoulder against Quinn's as they walked, her pace slowed a bit to keep at Quinn's side.

"You guys don't even look tired," Quinn noted, again shifting the bag on her shoulders.

"Mm," Rachel shook her head, "not really. You'd be surprised the amount of hours we've spent hiking together. I thought perhaps being a Cheerio, your endurance would have vastly outdone my own."

"Sylvester was more about survival training," Quinn mirrored Rachel's playful bumping as they walked along. "Like the time she dropped us all off in the middle of the woods, blindfolded. She just gave us a pocket knife, told us to tough it out for a few days and said it would give us a respect for the fact that competition was like a fight for survival, or something like that."

"You're kidding?"

"Unfortunately, no. Brittany spent most of the time asking us why the trees weren't moving like in Lord of the Rings and Santana took off with a couple of the other girls looking for magic mushrooms."

Rachel's laugh was light, airy, and her hand delicately wrapped around Quinn's elbow as they walked along, staggered behind Hiram and Leroy. "How'd you get back?"

"Well, me and another girl built a fire and Brittany helped us put together a lean-to just in case the weather got bad. I ended up falling asleep before Santana came back, but when I woke up she was talking to the tree and asking it why it was staring at her."

Another laugh followed Quinn's story. Quinn thought it was perhaps her favorite noise, and she slipped Rachel's hand from her elbow to her own, twining their fingers together.

"When she finally came down, she was a little too eager to kill something for dinner, Brittany cried because she said she didn't want to be the reason Bambi was all alone, so we ended up foraging some nuts and fruits for a couple days. Sylvester showed up wearing war paint on the last night and was hurling spears at us, but when we dodged them enough to apparently impress her," Quinn was chuckling a little at the recollection, thinking how crazy Sue Sylvester really was, "she said she'd take us all back home and picked up her spears and walked back out of the woods like we'd just had Cheerios practice or something."

"I can't believe that woman sometimes," Rachel shook her head in both amusement and disbelief, her hand tugging Quinn's hand tightly to her stomach as they walked, "I really don't know how she gets away with half the things she does."

"Probably blackmail."

"Agreed."

Spread out below them, past the tree line, was over 45,000 miles of trails. In the distance, dotted along some of the rock cliffs, she could see tiny specks moving up the vertical distances. Quinn wondered if she'd be very good at rock climbing, and heard Rachel humming next to her. Smiling, Quinn's senses were somewhat overloaded with the warm touch of Rachel's hand in her own, hands swinging between them, the sight of Boulder, Colorado spread out above and beneath them, the mountains towering on all sides, and Rachel's warm voice humming next to her in idleness. It was only day two of seven for them, and Quinn felt like she was a lifetime away from Lima. The sun felt perfect beating down on them, filtering through the leaves, and the sound of the ground crunching and twigs breaking beneath her feet brought it all to her awareness. For the first time in what seemed like ages, she was happy and didn't even think to question her worthiness of it.

"Girls, we're going to stop at the next mile-marker for snacks and water," Leroy called back to the lagging pair, and Quinn didn't miss the smile on his face when he noticed their intertwined hands.

Both girls nodded in response, Rachel still humming idly although she'd stopped swinging their hands between them. "I'm glad you're here with us," Rachel's words were sincere and soft in that way that always made Quinn's heart twinge with emotion. "And I know that it's been hard for you, opening up to me. I just want you to know that ... I appreciate it. The fact you want to share with me."

Quinn wasn't sure how to respond at first, unsure of how to put words to that feeling of rushing blood to her face or the way Rachel always made her heart swell, and she swallowed as she squeezed Rachel's hand and tucked it close against her leg, forgetting for a moment that they were hiking in Boulder, Colorado, far from Lima. She was just with Rachel, and being with Rachel was like having tunnel-vision. Her eyes searched Rachel's face as if she'd find her words there, but found nothing. Like lead on her tongue, she felt like there were no words. Consistently, Rachel bowled Quinn over with her understanding and compassion, and here she was telling Quinn she knew how hard it was for Quinn to share her feelings. Unable to find anything in response, she gave a half-grin, "You mean I wasn't making it look easy?"

"You're not a good actress," Rachel's lips curled a bit at the sarcastic comment, and lovingly pressed her lips to Quinn's, free hand brushing some of Quinn's hair behind her ear.

"Mm, I'll work on that," Quinn was reluctant to pull away from Rachel's lips, instead satisfying her need for contact with another kiss - a bit chaste but just right for the moment. She liked how it felt when Rachel smiled into their kisses. She didn't realize how far they'd lagged behind until she distantly heard Leroy yelling back for them to pick it up a bit.

Brown eyes glinted mischeviously, and a flurry of brown hair flew past Quinn as Rachel burst away from Quinn, shouting back, "Race you!"

"Those short legs of yours can't beat me!" Quinn laughingly waited a moment before she took off after Rachel, ignoring the burning in her lungs from hiking a large part of the day, chasing down the girl who seemed to have single-handedly changed her whole life.

###

It was a long day of trails, and Quinn felt completely inadequate by the time they arrived back at camp later that evening. She was panting and felt like Coach Sylvester was going to appear out of nowhere with homemade spears, warpaint on, shouting about joining the Marines. Rachel, on the other hand, was bounding happily into camp and rifling around in the back of the SUV to get into the cooler. She tossed a water bottle in Quinn's direction, which Quinn nearly missed as she was dropping her backpack to the ground. She fumbled with the bottle, and nearly fell forward as Hiram clapped her on the shoulder.

"Good first day, Quinn! Most people couldn't have kept up!" Hiram spoke happily, just as chirpy as Rachel always was.

Quinn kept her desire to glare at the both of them quelled by drinking the water gingerly, and she heard Leroy chuckling just over her shoulder.

"You'll get used to them. They're tireless," he comforted Quinn by handing her a dampened wash-cloth. It was funny, Quinn thought, how he seemed to be very much like Quinn had always percieved herself to be. Leroy was dabbing at his forehead with a rag as well, watching his husband and daughter with amusement on his face. And there Hiram and Rachel were, parroting numbers from "Evita" as they got out the necessary items to grill some kind of vegan and non-vegan dinner for all of them. "You're good for her, you know."

The words surprised Quinn, so much so that she choked a little on her water and looked over at Leroy, trying to figure out if she'd imagined him saying that. His look of amusement didn't fade - in fact it seemed to imperceptibly grow - as his dark eyes shined in the fire-light.

"She's happier now. When you two," he cleared his throat, looking as if he was weighing his word choice, and that made Quinn nervous and flush with guilt, "didn't get along so well, she always seemed to be quite sad. I mean, she didn't let herself get down too deep, but there were days I'd find her in her room just sitting on her bed, eyes red from crying. I remember the one day she asked me 'why' and I told her I didn't really know. I had a feeling there was more to you than what you were doing to her, although I'll admit a few times I was ready to defend her. I knew, had a feeling it was something you both needed to work through on your own."

Quinn mumbled an apology, only to feel Leroy's arm snake around her shoulder and pull Quinn into his side a bit, the way a father might to his daughter, and she swallowed. She didn't know how to act in a father-daughter situation, but Leroy was becoming very much like a father to her. She found herself responding by resting her head against the taller-man's strong chest, still listening to him speak.

"I understand what you're going through, Quinn, and I want you to know you're a part of our family. In your own way, you always have been. You were the most important person to Rachel, you have been for such a long time," hearing Leroy say these things was making Quinn feel enormously guilty and affectionate all at the same time. She hoped Leroy wouldn't hear her sniffling, but she thought he probably did because he gave her a reassuring squeeze and continued on, "even though you two really put each other through hell, I could never have imagined Rachel with anyone else. Finn was ... nice, but not too smart."

Quinn sniffled, laughed, and wrapped an arm around Leroy's waist. How could she tell Leroy what they'd all come to mean to her? As she watched Hiram and Rachel continuing their rendition of "Evita" hour as they grilled tofu-burgers and chicken on the regular grill, she found herself squeezing the taller man beside her meaningfully, "I don't know how this works, the family thing," she was sure Leroy could tell her voice was a little tearful, "my dad was ... horrible to say the least. I don't always know what to say, but I just ... thank you, so much. You and Hiram have become more of a family than I've ever had. I won't ever be able to thank you enough. I hope I can keep making Rachel happy, she deserves it." The words felt like they were coming from somewhere else, because Quinn wasn't familiar with how opening up should feel.

"Just don't ruin any more of Rachel's sweaters and we'll call it even," Leroy chuckled warmly, squeezed Quinn in a tight, fatherly embrace. "You're a good kid, you just needed someone to believe in you."

"Rachel always has," Quinn finished, sighing as she stepped away from Leroy and offered a smile. The taller man smiled warmly in return, nodding in agreement.

"That she has, that she has."

It took Quinn a few more moments of processing as Leroy joined his husband near the mini-grill, as she dug her heels into the dirt and watched the scene before her. Evergreen trees overshadowed their entire camp, and Quinn could smell a mixture of earth and grilled meat in the air, flames licking the starry sky, the Berry family bustling around the campsite. Rocking on her heels a couple more times, Quinn crossed the space between herself and Rachel, looping a finger in the belt-loop at Rachel's waist. She tugged the shorter girl backward a bit, smiling as Rachel startled a bit.

"Quinn!" Rachel seemed to automatically react by swinging around and throwing her arms around Quinn's neck. It was as if Rachel hadn't seen Quinn all day, the way she hugged Quinn close, and she could faintly hear Rachel breathing in her mixture of perfume and musk.

That smile that only Rachel inspired crawled across her lips and Quinn sighed. It would never cease to surprise her how Rachel's embraces made her feel, "Hi to you, too. You just saw me," Quinn teased lightly but nonetheless squeezed Rachel tighter in her arms. Rachel fit perfectly against her, Quinn mused.

"I did, but I have this instantaneous urge to have contact any moment I can," Rachel's words were breathed against the skin of Quinn's shoulder.

"Funny that," Quinn echoed earlier words and slowly disengaged. "Chicken?"

"For you, because I know you're missing the taste of butchered meats," Rachel sighed as if the information caused her displeasure, and Quinn found her mouth watering in appreciation, nodding simply.

"I can only eat tofu-dogs so much before I miss the taste of violence and bad karma," Quinn joked, jabbing Rachel lightly in the ribs. The brunette stuck her tongue out briefly, then flushed when Quinn winked and gave her a once-over as if to suggest she shouldn't stick that tongue out if she didn't intend on using it. Laughing quietly to herself, she sat down near the fire and waited as their food finished grilling, happily taking the plate Rachel had come over to offer her. Quinn gave Rachel enough room to sit down next to her, savoring the taste of grilled chicken as Rachel hungrily dug into her own food.

Chewing, Quinn's eyes were drawn to Rachel's legs in the firelight, remembering the feel of the skin on her thighs and the way their bare bodies generated heat together. She cursed her teenage horomones and thanked her lucky stars as she heard Hiram squawk at Leroy near the mini-grill, something about using their good tongs on the camping trip.

###

"Rach," Quinn murmured in the dark, later that night, the brunette tucked comfortably in her arms and pressing quiet kisses along her neck.

"Hmm?" Rachel's voice hummed against where her pulse beat the strongest, her mischevious hand snaking up underneath Quinn's hoodie.

Quinn bit back a grin and sighed at the skin-to-skin, "Well, now I forgot what I was going to say," her voice husked softly and she closed her eyes. For now, she let Rachel's hand dance in patterns over her stomach.

"I'm glad you were a Cheerio," Rachel's lips hovered near Quinn's in the next moment.

"Why?"

In response, Rachel's hands trailed a dangerous trail down Quinn's abs, and Quinn quieted a gasp by leaning up just far enough to capture Rachel's lips, sucking in Rachel's breath before their tongues met one another in a sensual dance. They hadn't been intimate since their first time together, though there had been a few close calls. Something about Rachel's parents being in the tent next to them made the situation a little more exciting.

Quinn gasped as she felt Rachel's fingers go lower, head dipping back, and she tried her best to stay quiet, although with Rachel touching her like that, she was having a hard time being conscious of anything she was doing, much less the volume of her voice.

###

The next morning, Quinn awoke with the feeling of Rachel's hand still trailing over her bare skin, and she blinked away sleep as she reached up and tangled her fingers in Rachel's hair, pulling her in for a lazy morning kiss. Rachel sighed into the kiss and Quinn smiled as she pulled away.

"Morning," Quinn spoke quietly between them, and outside she could hear the movement of Rachel's dads putting together breakfast. It was perfect, waking up next to Rachel, falling asleep next to Rachel. Sometimes when Quinn let herself think about it too much, she felt a pang of fear as if fate would tear this away from her or she'd wake up and realize she imagined all of it.

Rachel always seemed to know everything, and the way her brows were knit together suggested she saw the thoughts passing through Quinn's eyes. She leaned down, and Quinn felt her give her one of those achingly soft, chaste kisses, the way she did when she wanted to reassure Quinn of anything. It soothed that fear easily, and Quinn buried her head against Rachel's shoulder as she pulled the shorter girl in for a tight embrace. She thought she could spent forever holding Rachel and be fine with it. The brunette seemed to hold on with equal fervor, her head resting on top of Quinn's after pressing a kiss to blonde hair.

Quinn felt her heart thudding evenly in her chest and knew she wasn't dreaming, because she could feel the quiet thrumming of Rachel's heartbeat and feel the warm gust of breath. For the second time in two days, tears pricked her eyes, "I love you," and in those words she felt her entire soul. She could never tell Rachel how much she loved her because there weren't words for it, but the depth of emotion in which she said those three words always made Rachel squeeze her even tighter, Quinn noticed as Rachel's fingers dug into her shoulder.

"Oh, Quinn," Rachel breathed, words muffled to Quinn's ear. That was all Quinn needed. Rachel never needed to tell her she loved her, because Quinn felt it in everything Rachel did. As they lay there, wrapped in one another, Quinn's mind brought her back to a time, what seemed like ages ago, before she'd gotten pregnant. She and Rachel had a particularly heated conversation, and now in the light of their relationship it seemed to make more sense than it did back then.

_"ManHands, did it ever occur to you that I don't want you within ten feet of my locker?" Quinn snapped harshly, slamming her locker shut. That passionate hatred surged to the surface as she saw the brunette standing on the other side of the locker door, books held in front of her chest as if to deflect any physical or emotional blows Quinn might throw at her. She always looked so damn vulnerable and it made Quinn even more reactive._

_Rachel seemed shaken but she didn't move, even as Quinn stepped forward, a snarl on her face, "Quinn, I just wanted to inform you that although I understand why you continue to antagonize me, I don't want to take back my offer of friendship."_

_"Friends?" Quinn scoffed, rolled her eyes emphatically, and folded her arms over her chest. She found herself stepping back minutely, because Rachel advanced a step further, closing the distance a little too intimately for Quinn's liking._

_Rachel nodded, seemingly encouraged by the fact that Quinn had to take a step back, "Yes. I understand you need to keep to certain social norms but I have seen you crying after school on the bleachers and while I don't think you want me coming near you in times of distress, I've wanted quite badly to ask you what was wrong."_

_"What, are you a stalker?" Quinn faltered. How had Rachel seen her? Why had she seen her? _

_"I also noticed you have a few suspicious bruises right above your left shoulderblade - "_

_"You watch me in the locker room? God, RuPaul, what's wrong with you?" _

_Rachel looked stung, but nonetheless persisted, much to Quinn's displeasure, "If there is something going on, I just...I wish you'd tell someone. I care very much about you, Quinn, despite our history and I know that I'm," Rachel visibly swallowed and closed her eyes, and Quinn briefly saw a flash of pain in those brown eyes as Rachel opened them again - Quinn ignored the pang of concern as Rachel continued on, "I know I'm not your favorite person. In fact I understand you probably hate me for whatever reasons you seem to think fit, but Quinn, I care about you and I'm worried about you. I get sad whenever I see you so angry because I know you're hiding something. I know you are. And although we're standing in the middle of a crowded hallway and you rather dislike me even speaking to you, I would encourage you - "_

_"God, would you shut up?" Quinn barked, but Rachel didn't falter, only stepped closer and Quinn felt a warm hand on her wrist. She shivered, swallowed, and yanked her hand away. It didn't pass her awareness that Rachel looked especially hurt at the action._

_"I would encourage you to seek help if you need to, if something's happening at home. Please, Quinn," the way Rachel said her name made Quinn cringe. Anger boiled up like venom and Quinn was breathing rapidly through her nose and pursing her lips to keep from hitting Rachel to keep her quiet, although the idea of hitting Rachel made her feel sick to her stomach. This was her enemy but Quinn didn't want to be like her father. She didn't want to hit anyone. She just couldn't handle Rachel's chatter or her understanding of what Quinn might be experiencing._

_Quinn blinked away hot tears, "What gives you the right to pry into my life or even give a damn?"_

_"You cannot take away a person's right to care about you," Rachel insisted, voice dropping almost to a whisper as those brown eyes darted to the ground before seeking Quinn's again, "nor does you hiding behind that mask make it any less obvious that you need somebody. And if you ever do..need me, or anyone," and again that insistent hand found Quinn's wrist and traced the line of her vein._

_Quinn wanted to pull away but she couldn't. Her hand was frozen there as she felt the pad of Rachel's fingertip sliding down her wrist. Rapidly, she searched the hall for any out, anyone to help her, but she was stuck and frozen and locked in place by Rachel and her damn concern. "Stop it," Quinn breathed, angrily and sadly all at once._

_"No," Rachel merely responded and took a quiet breath. Quinn could feel her eyes. _

_"Please," Quinn pleaded under her breath and she had to look anywhere but Rachel's eyes because she was suddenly feeling dismantled._

_Rachel shook her head, finger still stroking where Quinn's pulse resided on her wrist, "You're never alone, even if you do hate me."_

_Quinn felt her face flush, felt the warmth of Rachel standing too close and it was all too confusing and she almost stumbled back, "Stay away from me, RuPaul," she barked, without any real confusion and she found herself running down the hall before she could even think about what she was doing. She didn't care if Rachel was looking after her like she didn't want her to run._

_Quinn couldn't breathe, she very much couldn't breathe, and as she stood over the sink, panting, trying not to vomit, she felt a hand on her back. "Goddamnit, Rachel!" She all but shouted and wheeled around, hand flying in the air. She shoved Rachel backward and watched the girl stumble backward and recover herself. Quinn's eyes filled with tears, and she looked at Rachel as if she couldn't believe what she'd just done. Her hand flew to her mouth and she breathed out apologies, stumbled backward herself._

_Rachel only shook her head, looking shocked and confused, but she pressed forward and that made Quinn feel even worse. _

_"Fuck you, Rachel," Quinn didn't even realize she was calling Rachel by her first name, but she was, and the fact hit her after she said the words._

_Rachel shook her head again, and Quinn could tell that Rachel was resolving not to let Quinn shove her away. _

_Quinn did need someone, she really did. Things were getting worse at home. Tears were freely falling down her face and she was shoving Rachel's hands off of her but Rachel kept fighting it, running her hands soothingly down Quinn's bare arms. Quinn was confused, furious, sad, but mostly confused. Why the hell was Rachel insisting on comforting her? "Stop!" Quinn shouted, throwing her arms up to shake Rachel's touch, but Rachel caught her hands midair and pinned them to Quinn's sides._

_Rachel was searching her eyes for answers and goddamn if she wasn't making Quinn fall apart at the seams, "No, Quinn." For a girl normally too wordy for Quinn's liking, Rachel was quiet and persistent right now._

_Quinn felt Rachel's hands slip around her waist and pull her into her arms. Quinn didn't think, only felt her head dip against Rachel's shoulder as she shook with tears. Her worst enemy was hushing comforting words in her ear, stroking her back delicately, holding her. All the fight Quinn had in her for the day was gone, and she felt herself go limp in Rachel's arms. None of it made sense. "I hate you," Quinn spoke through her tears. "I hate you."_

_Rachel didn't say a word, only pulled Quinn tighter in her arms and hummed a song against her ear. _

The memory was so vivid that Quinn felt the pang in her heart, and she pressed a warm kiss to Rachel's neck, "I don't deserve you, Rachel, but I'm so glad I have you."

"I am quite spectacular," Rachel joked softly and sat up, that brilliant grin lighting up her entire face. "Come on, let's get up before Dad comes bursting in or something," she suggested, looking reluctant as she pressed a kiss to Quinn's lips and stood.

Quinn nodded in agreement and accepted the hand offered to her, standing up and stretching her body. She quickly changed into a pair of jeans and slipped on her shoes, watching Rachel search for her own shoes in the sleeping bag and pile of clothing next to the air mattress. Quinn chuckled, cleared her throat, and kicked Rachel's shoe in her direction, watching it bump her foot.

"Oh! Thank you!" Rachel bounced a bit, slipped on her shoe, and kissed Quinn languidly before unzipping the tent and stepping outside to greet her fathers.

Quinn filed out after her, greeting the two men in the camp with a tired smile. She wordlessly slumped into one of the chairs near the fire and stretched out, breathing in the fresh Colorado air. The beauty of the mountains was splayed around them, and Quinn couldn't help but take in the sight as everyone went on about morning business. It felt like she was a completely different person, like she'd been reborn, and as she watched a hawk circle in the skies above, gliding across the silhouette of mountain, Quinn thought she knew what it felt like to really be free.

Her thoughts were interrupted by a flying plastic spoon, and she nearly toppled backward, caught herself and righted the chair's balance, sending a glare Rachel's way. The brunette whistled and looked away with a shrug, though she couldn't quite stifle the grin she wore.

###

Day four came and went noiselessly, Rachel and Quinn alone in the camp. They hadn't spent all day hiking like the second and third days, and Quinn was glad for that because she was pretty sure she wouldn't have made it another five hour day hiking non-stop without Rachel picking her up and giving her a piggy-back ride up the mountainside. Hiram and Leroy had taken a trip in town to get a few more food supplies and to spend the day shopping, so that left Quinn and Rachel to their own devices.

Rachel had found a creek nearby, and lead Quinn by the hand down a rocky pathway. "Be careful," she warned, pointing out a particularly loose patch of rocks. "I wouldn't want you to hurt that pretty face of yours," she teased and Quinn stuck her tongue out.

"You say that like you don't like my face," Quinn laughed a bit and hid her relief as they made it to the bottom of the path, where a creek bubbled at their feet and a few small fish darted down the stream of clear water. She bent over and ran her fingers against the rippled surface of water. "This is really pretty," Quinn commented, watching the way sunlight played through leaves and danced across the water's surface.

"I love your face quite a lot, actually," Rachel commented idly, swinging their hands between them and Quinn could feel Rachel's eyes studying her face. As Quinn glanced over, she saw Rachel nervously tucking hair behind her ear and preparing to say a well-thought-out speech.

Quinn's stomach dropped, irrational fears flooding her mind.

"I thought about what you suggested. Seeing my mom, you seeing Beth," Rachel began quietly, and she sat down at the creek's edge, tugging Quinn's hand in a way that suggested Quinn sit down as well. The blonde settled next to Rachel and held Rachel's hand in her lap. She hadn't really given it much thought in the last couple of days either. "I.. I think I'd like to, if you're ready, if you want to. We don't have to, of course, it's just that when I did get to see my mother I...I feel like we left things unresolved and I need a little resolution. I also sort of miss her, in a strange way, even though we've never spent time together."

Quinn felt a mix of relief and nodded her head, "I think I'm ready. I know it'll be weird, and hard," she took a breath, head spinning with possibilities. What would it be like to see Beth?

"But you won't be alone," Rachel assured, stroking Quinn's wrist gently as she turned it over in her lap, and Quinn saw her looking down at their hands thoughtfully. "And I think you'd feel better, seeing her, knowing you'd made a good choice."

Quinn's eyes trailed over Rachel's features, watching the way Rachel seemed to look for the future in the lines of Quinn's palm. She managed a soft smile, pressed her lips to Rachel's cheek, "I think you're right." She spoke out of reassurance to Rachel, and partially to herself.

Rachel looked over, as if that's not the answer she'd expected, and her eyes lit up in that excited way, "Really?"

"Yes. I think we should," Quinn nodded, although her heart flitted nervously in her chest.

Rachel smiled, brightly, "Good, because I've already texted my mother and she said that when we come to New York, she wants us to stay with her in her apartment. She has a guest room ... "

Quinn's stomach dropped, and she breathed nervously. Spending that much time with Beth, Shelby? It made her feel incredibly daunted and nervous and she closed her eyes.

"Of course we don't have to if you -"

Rachel. Rachel needed it. To stay with her mother, to see her. She would do this for Rachel. She could handle seeing Beth every day for a little while. They'd only be in New York for a couple weeks, it wouldn't kill her. Her stomach turned and she opened her eyes, offering another reassuring smile, and she shook her head, "No, I think it's a good idea. It'll save your dads money, too, and it would .. it would be nice."

Quinn was terrified. Seeing Beth every day. The thought replayed over and over in her brain and she felt herself clutching Rachel's hand in her own. She felt Rachel squeeze her hand tighter, and shortly after the sensation of Rachel's lips on her knuckles.

"We can get through it," Rachel ran a soothing hand through Quinn's hair, and Quinn nodded. Brown eyes danced over Quinn's face, regarding her with affection.

Quinn nodded, and before her thoughts could press any further, she was leaning forward and capturing Rachel's lips in a quietly desperate kiss, just needing to feel as if she had control over something. Her lips meshed passionately with Rachel's, and Rachel was mewling into the kiss and pressing forward with equal need. Rachel was soon panting against Quinn's lips as Quinn's hands wandered over the flesh of her sides, underneath her shirt, fingers moving over Rachel's ribs and body pressed tightly against Rachel's as she pressed the girl into the grassy area next to the creek. Quinn was attacking Rachel's neck and Rachel was arching up into Quinn's torso hungrily, and for a moment Quinn forgot everything. Quinn rose just enough to capture Rachel's lips in a kiss that was full of lust and fire, and it threatened to consume them both as Rachel drove a thigh in between Quinn's legs and bucked her hips. Rachel's hands were grasping and Quinn was writhing her hips downward just so Rachel would make those delicious noises forever.

She felt a little bit like she could understand Santana's thought process - sex became an aversion from sorrow, and when you were in love with the person you were having sex with, it became a painkiller. When she was with Rachel, she felt like they melded together, souls meshed together in a passionate dance. Her veins answered to Rachel's pulse and Rachel's veins matched the rapid fire in Quinn's. They matched, fit, and with Rachel moaning into her mouth, she couldn't help but feel like she was overtaken with the power that was both physical and emotional, the strong hand of love squeezing them together as fate took them down roads that would eventually lead to adulthood.

###

"Girls! You're finally back!"

Quinn tried her best not to look guilty as she and Rachel arrived at camp over two hours later. They'd done their best not to look like they had sex but when you did it next to a creek in the middle of the forest, you forgot that people were going to see you afterward. Rachel was smoothing her hair nervously as she greeted her dads and Quinn was smiling a bit inconspicuously. She took Rachel's hand and waved at the two men making dinner.

"We were just exploring a trail," Rachel stated simply.

Quinn chuckled, the words 'treasure trail' echoing in her mind. The blonde glanced at Leroy, who smiled wryly and nodded at them both.

"Hope you had fun."

The couple shared a look, brief but mischevious. Fun was an understatement.


	4. Your Love is Life

**Title**: In the Broken Night, Set Against the Sky

**Pairing**: Quinn/Rachel

**A/N**: Chapter 4 of 10! I'm excited for this, guys. The story's really just barely gotten started and I've got so much to cover. I hope you're all enjoying it. ^_^ Also, if you notice any grammatical errors or whatnot, let me know, pretty please? I meant to get this up last night, but I got about halfway through and was practically falling asleep on my laptop - so I got up early to finish and publish. ^_^ Lyrics in the Chapter introduction (?) are from "Lifeboats" by Snow Patrol, and the song referenced in the rest of the chapter is "Lullaby" by Lamb.

_faberrydragon: I'm glad you enjoyed that chapter! I like how their relationship is growing, too. They make me happy.  
>Sharene19: NOW it's here! Tah-dah! Like magic and stuff! Here's a bunny rabbit. LOL. Anyway, I'm glad you're enjoying it. Thank you, again, for the sweet review. ^_^<em>

###

Chapter 4: **Your Love is Life**

_Gliding like a satellite in the broken night,  
>and when I wake you're there, I'm saved;<br>your love is life piled tight and high, set against the sky  
>that seems to balance on its own..<em>

###

Quinn didn't want to admit, the last night in Colorado, that she was afraid of what was coming next. Rachel was resting her head on Quinn's shoulder and lazily eating a melted marshmallow as Hiram told a story on the other side of the fire. The blonde's arm draped across Rachel's shoulder, resting where her arm met her torso, and she closed her eyes. They'd spent nearly a week in Boulder and it had been absolutely breathtaking every step of the way. Quinn was used to beautiful skies, after all it's not like Lima's city lights drowned out the sky by all means, but out here there was something different about it. It was crisp, clear, beautiful. Sometimes Quinn could make out star clusters she'd never seen before - but like memories, if she looked too directly at them, she couldn't see them anymore. It was a funny trick of sight. Without thinking, she was humming the song she and Rachel shared, and felt Rachel's head tilt up a bit in response; the blonde was sure she'd see a pair of dark brown eyes staring thoughtfully up at her, and Quinn's lip quirked in a small acknowledgement of Rachel's gaze.

"Always and forever, you'll see," she heard Rachel singing barely above a whisper, and felt warm fingers tangle in her own, Rachel rocking them back and forth a little playfully, which only made Quinn smile more. She continued to hum along as Rachel sang unnoticed, too quiet for Hiram or Leroy to hear, "Always and forever, be with me," Rachel's voice melded with Quinn's humming and the blonde felt joy bubbling up in her chest, coming to the surface. She squeezed Rachel's hand tighter and wondered if she'd ever be as happy as she was now. She wanted to remember every second, every sound, the way Rachel felt with her weight against the crook of her shoulder, the way the crickets chirped and sometimes distant howls could be heard.

Quinn, still humming, picked up Rachel's words and felt Rachel shift into her arms a little more, "We'll have love aplenty, we'll have joys outnumbered," Quinn's voice was always raspy, soft, like soft earth, at least that's what Rachel was constantly telling Quinn, "we'll share perfect moments, you and me." The ex-Cheerio sang quietly in the curtain of Rachel's hair, feeling the tired droop of her eyes as the lull of the evening began to get to her. They'd had a busy week - hiked miles of trails and seen marvelous and beautiful things - and it seemed they were all a bit worn out. They'd have a week before Rachel's dads left for their 'second-honeymoon' and then Quinn would be on a plane to New York. She didn't want to let go of this moment, wanted to bask in it forever, Rachel humming to her and words lost in the night like childhood memories.

"Cheeseball," Rachel grinned, her word settling on Quinn's ears before the blonde could register, and as Quinn pulled away in shock and mock-offense, she shoved Rachel's shoulder gently as the brunette squawked with laughter. "Don't worry, I won't tell anyone," Rachel fought off Quinn's shove and tangled her arms around Quinn's waist, closed her eyes, and Quinn felt her warm gust of breath as Rachel sighed into her, chest deflating.

"Pinkie promise? I have a reputation, you know," Quinn teased and rolled her eyes, squeezing Rachel tight against her side.

Leroy was busily stuffing marshmallows in his mouth, because apparently Hiram had bet him he couldn't fit 20 in one mouthful, and Quinn looked up in horror at the scene - Leroy looking like a rabid dog with a marshmallow addiction and Hiram snickering at him like a small boy.

"Pinkie promise, only if you promise me we won't be like that," Rachel laughed in her bubbly way at Quinn's side, hands squeezing in emphasis as she looked at her dads.

"It's a deal," Quinn chuckled, exhaling quietly and feeling a shiver go through her as the night air became chill. She fought a yawn, closed her eyes. "Bed?"

"Mm, you look sleepy," Rachel stated, and Quinn felt her fingers ghost over her jaw and brush stray blonde hairs behind her ear. "I'll be in after I say goodnight to my dads?"

"Sounds good," Quinn smiled sleepily, opening hazel eyes. She pressed forward, landing a gentle kiss on Rachel's cheek before she headed toward the tent, laughing as she passed Leroy who was quite literally dumping the last of the marshmallows in his frothing mouth, "Good luck, Leroy."

The man gave her a thumbs up and a marshmallow-smile, and his husband chuckled out a goodnight in Quinn's direction before turning attention back to Leroy.

Quinn stepped into the tent, zipped the door half-way, and heard Rachel outside the tent.

"Night Dad, Daddy," following the words were the sound of hugs murmured goodnights, and Quinn found herself laughing as Leroy even tried to muffle out a goodnight to his daughter.

As Quinn tugged on a comfortable pair of sweatpants and lay her sore body on the air-mattress, she caught sight of Rachel climbing in the tent and tiredly changing into pajamas. Quinn's eyes wandered lovingly - back when she was in denial, it was no wonder she had a hard time looking at Rachel when she'd been in that Britney Spears outfit. The brunette had an amazing figure, and constantly Quinn felt the desire to have contact with that olive skin of hers. Rachel caught Quinn's gaze and they shared a quiet, blushing smile. Rachel winked, an action that made Quinn's heart flutter even now as their relationship was established, and climbed onto the air-mattress beside her. Rachel folded herself easily against Quinn, peppered kisses on her lips, quiet little pecks, and Quinn smiled as the brunette kissed the tip of her nose. The small laugh that escaped her lips couldn't be helped, and Rachel's smile became wider at the sound. Quinn liked being the reason for Rachel's smile. "So weird when you do that," Quinn chuckled and shook her head in the dark.

"Well it's weird that you like Cher," Rachel grinned and rested her head against Quinn's chest, small, soft hands squeezing Quinn's hip as the shorter girl tucked herself against Quinn.

"Mm, it's a secret," Quinn murmured sleepily, felt even breathing against her own.

"Quinn?"

"Hmm?"

"Are you scared?"

"Of?"

"New York, seeing Beth."

Quinn's eyes opened and she frowned into the dark. She pulled Rachel closer against her and buried her face near Rachel's ear, taking a moment to think honestly about that question. Honesty. Openness. Things she really wanted to work on - for Rachel. Quinn hesitated, felt the answer like a weight sitting on her tongue, before she nodded into Rachel's neck, "Yes."

"Me too. My mom, I mean," Rachel's hands soothed over Quinn's sore muscles, fingertips squeezing the gentle curves of Quinn's shoulder-muscles and Quinn could feel the tension melting out of her body. The blonde sighed into Rachel's neck, pressed her lips to Rachel's skin as she listened to her speak, "As you know, we parted on good terms but I ... I always felt as if when she met me, she wanted to meet someone she expected to see. A small girl, perhaps - "

"You are small," Quinn joked softly against her skin, hoping to lighten the moment a little for Rachel, and maybe a little for herself too.

"Quinn," Rachel reprimanded, half-amused and half-scolding, "you know what I mean. I think she expected to see the baby she gave away. Instead she met a young woman who looked starkly like herself and I...I think it startled her. We speak once in a while but it's all very formal. And I wonder what it's like to have a mom, someone I'd call Mom instead of Mother," Rachel hesitated and Quinn continued placing comforting kisses against Rachel's collarbone and neck. Rachel was holding on to Quinn tighter, and her voice had taken on a confused tone.

Quinn thought of the confusion, the feelings she'd felt earlier when Leroy had his 'father-daughter' talk with Quinn, at least a talk she felt like maybe a father would have with his daughter. The awkwardness of hugging a man who, up until the last year, probably hated her. Yet here she was, in the middle of Colorado with them, and he'd told her she was a part of the family. She'd always wondered what it would be like to have an accepting and supportive family like Rachel was lucky enough to have, but she'd never really given thought to the fact that Rachel was missing one thing every girl wanted, in the end - a loving mom. Quinn swallowed, feeling a knot in her throat.

"So I'm scared," Rachel completed, her voice dropping barely above a whisper, "but I'm glad you'll be there, and I'm glad we'll be there to support one another."

Quinn pulled away, sifted her fingers through Rachel's thick, dark locks of hair. She felt Rachel's heartbeat against her own, and in the dark she searched the eyes she knew were looking up at her. Rachel's soft fingers were grasping Quinn's as they cascaded to Rachel's cheeks. "There's so much I want to say, Rach," Quinn found herself speaking, surprised at the sound of her own voice. "So much that I feel. I'm scared, too, but I know that you'll be there with me and we'll be going through it together. This is all so ..." Quinn hesitated, weighed her words, sighed, "new. All of it. Us, me dealing with anything, honestly every bit of my life is different now and new, and scary. I know I don't make much sense right now but .. as much as I'm not good with the whole mushy thing and I'm not good with words like you are, I just love you."

Rachel smiled softly, barely noticeable in the dark tent, but Quinn caught a glimpse of it.

"I can't imagine, I mean I can, but I can't imagine how you feel. About the whole thing. In a way, I can, because my dad, you know ... " Quinn hesitated, bit her lip in thought, and pushed away emotions surfacing. She just needed Rachel to know she understood. "And your dads have been so wonderful. I want you to have that with your mom, in some way." Quinn could vaguely hear Rachel sniffling softly, and she frowned, "Oh, no, don't cry," Quinn insisted, "I'm sorry, don't cry," her fingers fumbled in the dark and found tears on Rachel's cheek.

"It's okay, it's good," Rachel's voice was tearful indeed, and the brunette was pulling herself into Quinn's arms again. "It's good. I hope I get that, too. I think eventually I will have that."

The pair fell into silence, Quinn stroking Rachel's locks again and smoothing them out over the diva's back. She pressed her lips against Rachel's scalp, and hummed quietly to soothe the nerves she knew Rachel felt darting around inside her stomach. Quinn wasn't very good at all of this, didn't know what to do or how, she just knew that she wanted to make Rachel happy, wanted Rachel to feel special and loved. Eventually the even breathing at her side slowed, and Quinn felt the grip at her side slacken. Rachel had fallen asleep, and Quinn knew she was soon to follow. Exhaustion hit her again, and as her eyes drooped shut, she squeezed Rachel closer and breathed in that sweet undefinable perfume. They still had to get back to Lima and make it another week through nerves and doubts before they'd find themselves in New York together, facing down their greatest fears and confronting past decisions.

###

Quinn glanced aside, where Rachel was hanging halfway out of the window, dark brown hair flying behind her in a glorious curtain. The sunlight poured in the SUV as they travelled along the highway, on their way back home, and Rachel somehow managed to look beautiful perching her arms out of the window and resting her head on them. Leroy had fallen asleep in the passenger's seat, Hiram occasionally throwing loving glances beside him or gently patting Leroy's knee when he seemed to jerk or mumble in his sleep.

Rachel seemed to notice Quinn's gaze as it found her again, because she slid back beside Quinn and offered her one of those dazzling Rachel Berry smiles. Quinn felt her heart flutter and she felt herself respond with an equally large smile. They'd woken up in Colorado this morning, and Quinn had to admit she'd miss being in Boulder. It was most definitely a beautiful place and it felt so freeing to be anywhere but Lima. Now they were headed back, and eventually she and Rachel would be on their way to New York. It gave Quinn a head rush when she thought about it, and she found herself laying on the backseat, and rested her head on Rachel's lap. Fingers sifted through her hair, and Quinn let out a pleased sigh.

"Tired?"

"Mm, kinda. And watching the road makes me dizzy."

In her pocket, something buzzed, and she'd nearly forgotten that her phone was there - mostly because she didn't get reception around the mountains - so Quinn startled a little before she sank her head back on to Rachel's lap, where Rachel resumed playing with Quinn's hair. The screen of her phone blinked at her.

_When do u and Frodo get bck? - S_

Quinn rolled her eyes, sighed a little bit, and smiled. She'd missed Santana, and Quinn glanced up at Rachel, who was smiling amusedly down at her.

"There's something hypocritical about how I'm supposedly the nerdy one, but the girls in cheerleading skirts constantly reference a literature series that is a staple in the fantasy genre," Rachel mused, and Quinn chuckled.

"Santana's a closet case," she laughed at her own phrasing as she looked up at Rachel, "she loves fantasy books."

"Noted."

_~Rachel~ and I get back in a couple days. - Q_

_O, well we totally need to hang when u get bck. - S_

_Sounds good to me, miss you guys. - Q_

_Dnt get mushy. Rachel makes u mushy. - S_

_No, I'm just secretly in love with you. - Q_

Both Quinn and Rachel laughed at that one.

"At least she called me Rachel that time."

_Sry, meant **Gimli. - S_

Quinn glanced up at Rachel, laughing quietly, "You spoke too soon."

_Very funny, S. You know you like Rachel, is it really so hard to call her by her name? She is my gf now after all. - Q_

Quinn beamed a little to herself, feeling the jolt of happiness, and apparently it was mutual because Rachel was biting her bottom lip as if she was biting back some kind of speech. Quinn wrinkled her nose playfully and stuck her tongue out before responding.

_Shut up, go suck your gf's face or something. - S_

_Why don't you? - Q_

_Ew. - S_

_Not my gf, yours. Lesbotron. - Q_

_B isn't here rt now. - S_

_Oh? - Q_

_Family dinner and whatever. - S_

_Btw you didn't deny that you do like Rachel. - Q_

_Do you have a point, preggo? - S_

_Not cool. - Q_

_Sry, reflex. Frodo's alright. nice and stuff, plus she makes u happy. - S_

_Forgiven. Miss you guys though, really. - Q_

_Duh. u 2 tho. - S_

"She really isn't too comfortable with emotions, is she?" Rachel inquired delicately, fingers stilling themselves in Quinn's hair and the pad of her finger tracing gentle shapes against Quinn's scalp.

"That's an understatement. She's like me, only more severe about it. That's the main problem she and Britt have," Quinn chewed her bottom lip thoughtfully before glancing up at Rachel, letting her eyes linger on the girl.

_Tell Rachel I said hi. - S_

Quinn was surprised at that one, and she showed Rachel the text message. She couldn't help but chuckle at the way Rachel's face lit up, and she immediately started texting a response from Quinn's phone. She pressed send before Quinn could warn against it, and Quinn had to try very hard not to laugh at Rachel's text.

_Hello Santana! This is Rachel. I've stolen Quinn's phone for just a moment. I'm glad you're doing well and I know you're quite reserved with actual emotion, but I too miss you. Quinn doesn't have your biting humor. - Q_

_Good god. Rly with all those words? - S_

_Quinn again, lol. You would expect different from my thesaurus of a gf? - Q_

_Guess not, but damn. - S_

_Text you when we get closer. Feeling motion sickness from reading texts while the car's moving. Tell Britt we said hi, when you see her. - Q_

Quinn delicately lay her phone on the seat next to her, and shifted so she was laying on her side, head still resting in Rachel's lap. She was idly picking at Rachel's jeans, and yawned a little bit.

"I'm glad we're flying to New York. I don't mind the drive," Rachel stated softly after a lapse of silence, "but it's a lot of hours in the car to Colorado."

"Agreed," Quinn smiled, closed her eyes. She felt Rachel's hand go from her hair to rest on her back, sometimes scratching along the surface.

"Do you think Santana really does like me? As a friend, of course," Rachel questioned after a bit more silence, and Quinn thought it was adorable that Rachel really cared whether or not her friends liked her.

Quinn nodded, "Yeah. She doesn't know how to show it, with anyone, really, but she does."

"Oh good," Rachel seemed to breathe a little easier in relief, and Quinn glanced upward at the brunette. Rachel's expression turned unsure, "I just think it's rather important for your friends to approve of me."

"I don't need anyone's approval," Quinn stated after a moment, thinking how starkly different that statement was from what she would've said nearly a year ago.

The diva seemed to melt a little at the statement, because she blinked disbelievingly at Quinn before sliding her hand around Quinn's waist and lacing their fingers together.

Quinn merely shrugged dismissively, and squeezed Rachel's hand. Her life was very different these days, and she figured she was tired of living for everyone else's approval.

###

"I still cannot believe she asked me if I wanted a happy meal. Why does everyone insist that I am so childlike?" Rachel fumed in the back-seat of the car. It was day two on the road, and they'd gone through a drive-through. The woman had mistakenly glanced in the back seat and asked if the younger girl wanted a happy meal, and commented on how adorable her dress was.

Quinn was stifling laughter behind her hand, and Leroy was chuckling in the driver's seat, "Honey, she didn't have a good view of you," Leroy soothed.

Rachel's arms were folded angrily over her chest, "Now I'm not even hungry. Their vegan food is terrible. Quinn, stop laughing at me, this is all-together a very serious matter. I'm always being pointed out for my height and I find it - "

Quinn silenced Rachel with a shake of her head and a kiss on her cheek, "Relax."

Rachel sighed, and her mouth opened once or twice as if she was going to continue ranting, but she settled and nodded.

Hiram whistled in appreciation, "You stopped a Rachel Berry rant?"

"Daddy!"

Hiram flinched at Rachel's scolding tone, but laughed nonetheless.

Quinn squeezed Rachel's hand and pressed another kiss to her cheek, then several more playful ones, flashing the brunette a brilliant smile as she giggled a little under the ministrations and batted Quinn away in embarassment. Her phone vibrated, and she wondered if it was Santana. Indeed, the Latina was texting her again.

_How was CO anyway? - S_

_Beautiful. Lots of hiking, but I loved the mountains. - Q_

_Kinda jealous, u got out of this rat-hole. - S_

_Going to New York a week after we get back, Rachel and I. - Q_

_Lucky. - S_

Quinn hesitated, rested her head on Rachel's shoulder as she pondered what to say. She was excited about the trip, but Santana didn't know that there was a secondary reason for going. She felt Rachel's hand squeeze at her side, gently, as if reassuring her. It gave her the motivation to just come out with it, and Quinn did her best to phrase the next text carefully.

_We're going to enjoy NY but also to see Shelby and Beth. Staying with Shelby for a couple weeks. - Q_

Quinn drummed her fingers on Rachel's thigh as she waited for Santana's response. She knew Santana would support her, but she was curious as to her reaction. She'd never expressed interest openly about seeing Beth again, in fact she really hadn't spoken of Beth in quite a long time.

_U rdy for that? - S_

_Hope so. Might be good though. - Q_

_Cld be. Won't be easy tho. - S_

_Definitely not easy, but maybe necessary. - Q_

_Look at u, all grown up. Unlike ur gf. Stunted growth. - S_

Quinn chuckled, sighed, and felt Rachel shaking her head quietly. Her soft hand had covered Quinn's, and she was delicately running her fingers over the back of Quinn's hand.

_You're just jealous my gf is hot. - Q_

_Dream on. - S_

"You think I'm hot?" Rachel spoke suddenly, glancing over at Quinn in shock.

Quinn laughed, "Seriously? You really have to ask?"

Rachel nodded earnestly, "No one's ever ... really .. called me that. Besides Finn, but when he says it.."

"It sounds like he's talking about a steak," Quinn finished that part for her, and she chuckled. "I do think that about you," her eyes flicked to the front seat. She didn't want to go calling Rachel hot or sexy in front of her dads, so she settled for vague wording. "You are absolutely stunning."

Rachel blushed, offered a coy smile, and dipped her head against Quinn's shoulder.

_Streisand doing good 2? - S_

_You're really asking if she's doing well? - Q_

_Ugh y do u answer a question with a question? - S_

_Like you did? - Q_

_Not funny. How is she? - S_

_Doing good. Glad to be heading home, I think, at least for a week. - Q_

_Tell her I'm sry. - S_

_For what? - Q_

_Being a bitch all the time. - S_

_You're not a bitch, but I'll tell her. - Q_

A surprising show of feeling coming from Santana, Quinn really wasn't sure what spurred it, but a part of her was grateful. Quinn angled the screen toward Rachel, showed her the texts, and smiled as Rachel grabbed for the phone. "Nuh uh. She'll bail on what she said if you send her a paragraph in response."

Rachel, abashed, pulled her hand back and sighed, "I suppose you're probably right."

_She says thank you and that she forgives you. - Q_

_K. Good, cuz I don't say sry to anyone. - S_

_I know you don't. Why the kindness? - Q_

_Jst thinkin lately. Life's too short, u know. - S_

_True. - Q_

_Plus I like Rachel. She's not bad for a midget. - S_

_I won't tell her you said that. - Q_

_Both parts plz. - S_

"Liar," Rachel laughed a little as the phone was again angled for her to read. "I wonder why she's being so kind? Normally, yes, she's not too difficult but she's never apologized to me before. Do you think Brittany put her up to it?"

"Maybe, but whatever the reason, it's good to see her being kind of soft. She needs it."

_When do u guys get back tmrw? - S_

_I think sometime in the evening. - Q_

_Txt me when you get in? wanna hang out - S_

_Sounds good. - Q_

Radio silence followed, and Quinn stared thoughtfully at her phone. It seemed it was a summer of change not only for herself and Rachel, but for Santana as well. Her heart warmed a little, and she glanced aside at Rachel, who looked equally thoughtful. The blonde slipped her hand into Rachel's.

"I'm excited to get home," Rachel stated quietly. "It's beautiful out here and all, but I think I actually miss Lima."

"Me too," even though there wasn't much to miss, Quinn agreed. Lima was home, as much as it seemed like one of those places people never left. Nobody expected you to leave and make a success of your life - mediocrity was the curse of growing up in a place with only 30,000 people at the most.

Rachel was toying with Quinn's fingers delicately, and glanced upward at the blonde from her shoulder, and was about to say something until both girls jumped to attention. Leroy, out of nowhere, started belting out a Bette Midler song, much to Hiram's displeasure. Rachel and Hiram spent the next two hours trying to get him to stop, but their dislike for his singing only seemed to spur him on. Quinn could only laugh as Leroy sang through the muffling of Hiram's hand over his mouth.

###

**Welcome to Lima!**

The sign glowed brightly under the glare of headlights, the sun just setting below the horizon. Rachel stirred against Quinn's shoulder, yawned and stretched. She'd fallen asleep against Quinn almost three hours ago, and not stirred until Quinn nudged her to let her know they'd made it home to LIma. The family was utterly exhausted from the long day of driving.

"Home sweet home," Leroy sing-songed, rolling down the passenger's side window to breathe in Lima's air. A warm breeze made its way into the car, and Quinn stifled a yawn.

"Something like that," she joked softly, sharing a smile with Leroy before she watched various buildings pass by.

Rachel sighed longingly as they passed the high school, "I miss being in school. Is that strange?"

"Not for you, Rach," Quinn wrinkled her nose in mock-disgust. "I mean really. If I could be done with it now, I would." She teased.

"Well I happen to enjoy the high school experience. Besides the early years of development, the high school years are among the most statistically influential in a person's lifetime," Rachel babbled on, and Quinn raised an eyebrow at the brunette.

"Too many words," she touched her head, "so many hours driving and you're using so many words," Quinn closed her eyes, pretending to be in pain, only to flinch as she felt Rachel's hand gently smack the back of her head, "Ow!"

Rustling followed, and soon Rachel and Quinn were batting at one another, flailing wrists and playfully mock-fighting, until Quinn caught Rachel's hand in her own and made motion to bite at her. Rachel tugged her hand away and ducked away from Quinn's grasp. Quinn laughed softly and gave up the fight when Rachel peeled her arms away from her small waist. The shorter girl was flushed with laughter and Quinn smiled in appreciation, planting a kiss on her lips briefly and wrinkling her nose.

Some time passed, but soon the Berry men had parked in the drive-way and were unloading luggage into the house. Quinn felt a surge of gladness as she and Rachel made their way inside. The fresh smell of the Berry household greeted them, and Quinn bounced a little as she entered the familiar foyer. "Home!"

Rachel mirrored Quinn's enthusiasm, threw herself onto the couch and splayed out on the cushions. "Home sweet home," she echoed and sighed.

Quinn sat on Rachel playfully, sitting somewhere between Rachel's waist and her thighs, and felt the brunette struggle underneath her. The blonde stuck her tongue out and Rachel gave up struggling after a few moments. Quinn rested her head on the cushions behind her and sighed much like Rachel had. Even in her own home, she'd never felt so comfortable and happy. Over the time she'd been with the Berry family, she'd grown to know what it was like to feel like she had a home, people who loved her. She'd forever be grateful for that.

"You girls are so helpful, I'm just startled," Hiram joked from the doorway as he dropped the last of the luggage near the stairs.

"We were warming up the couch," Rachel called from beneath Quinn and bucked her knees up, sending the blonde flying to the floor. She keened with laughter as Quinn picked herself up off the floor and sent her daggers, smoothing out her hoodie and trying to regain her composure. Quinn went flying, the couch rocking back a little as she tackled Rachel back to the couch cushions. Quinn had Rachel pinned against the couch, and Leroy chuckled as he passed the girls.

"Good night, girls. Don't stay up too late," he warned delicately and Hiram nodded in agreement before the couple disappeared into their bedroom, looking absolutely exhausted.

"Say uncle!" Quinn stated triumphantly as Rachel bucked, and the brunette wouldn't give in. Quinn saw a flash of Rachel's tongue as the brunette looked up at her in defiance.

"Never, nope," Rachel got one hand free and managed to shove Quinn off. The blonde landed with an 'umph' on the carpeted livingroom floor, and laughingly Rachel made sure Quinn was okay. Of course, not before smacking a pillow into Quinn's face.

"Oh! I forgot to text Santana."

"Mm? Oh, yes, she did say she wanted to hang out when we got back," Rachel lay down on the livingroom floor next to Quinn, and Quinn tugged out her phone.

_We're home if you want to hang out. Might not be super late but it'd be nice to see you. - Q_

Quinn sent the text, then gasped as her vision was blocked by the cloth of a pillow again. She sent Rachel a glare as the brunette rolled away from her and covered her head in fear of retaliation. Quinn nudged Rachel with her foot, laughing softly, "You're so violent."

"Incredibly. You have no idea," Rachel grinned and stood, made her way into the kitchen. Quinn watched her retreat, smiled lovingly after her.

_B over in a few. - S_

_Yay! - Q_

_Plz. Ur all enthusiastic like you missed me. - S_

_Oh but I did. And I know you missed me. And Rachel. - Q_

_Yeah rt. - S_

Quinn smiled a bit, shook her head. She was a little surprised at her own excitement to see Santana, and as the doorbell rang, she darted to the door and fought with Rachel to open it. It ended in another playful slap fight before Quinn nudged Rachel out of the way and answered the door.

"Santana!" Brown hair flew past Quinn, and Rachel threw herself into Santana with surprising enthusiasm. Quinn laughed a little as she saw Santana look a little confusedly at the short girl in her arms.

"The hell?"

"Go with it," Quinn laughed.

Santana rolled her eyes, looked as if she wanted to peel Rachel from her arms, but instead sighed and resigned herself to patting Rachel's back. Rachel eventually pulled away, glowing, and Quinn shook her head a bit. She stepped forward, too, and knowing Santana's personal boundaries, she hugged her anyway. The Latina returned the hug, squeezed her tight for a moment.

"Good to see you guys," Santana offered, smiled a bit. "How was Colorado?"

"Excellent!" Rachel chirped.

Quinn smirked, "What she said," she nodded in the direction of the livingroom and Rachel seemed to get the hint as they all moved from the foyer to the livingroom. Santana settled in the recliner and folded one leg beneath her lithe figure. "Anything exciting happen here?"

Santana shrugged and shook her head, "Nah. Of course not. Well, except Sylvester apparently ordered a gaggle of geese to be shipped to Schue's place. It was on the news," she snorted a bit. "I TiVo'd it for you guys. They were all over the place."

Rachel looked shocked, and slightly irritated, "That woman .."

Santana shook her head dismissively. "She's entertaining."

"Entertaining?"

"Yeah, Berry, entertaining. I could take a few lessons from her on irritating you."

Rachel glared pointedly at Santana, and Quinn shook her head simply. She sat next to Rachel on the couch, tossing Santana a soda and relaxing against Rachel's shoulder, "How's Brittany? I'm surprised she's not with you."

"She's good. We're working on things, you know. Or I am."

"She's so patient," Rachel mused softly, and when Santana glared at her she stammered out the rest, "I mean it's .. it's good that she gives you time to work through your - " she stopped, flushed red, and covered her face, mumbling something about social etiquette and being unable to word things in the right way.

Santana cracked open the can of soda, sipped at it. "So New York City?"

"Yeah," Quinn responded, and watched Santana's expression.

"You ready to see the little B?"

Quinn shrugged a shoulder, glanced at Rachel, who still had her face covered in embarassment. "I think I am. I mean it's going to be weird but Rach will be there with me, so I think it'll be okay. I just don't know how it's going to feel ... seeing her after all this time, seeing her with another mother."

Santana nodded in understanding, offered a reassuring squeeze as she leaned the distance between the chair and the couch, before she drew her hand back. "You'll call me though, yeah? I wanna know how things go out there. Won't it be weird for you, too, Berry?"

"Most certainly. As you know my mother and I don't have an outstanding relationship," Rachel uncovered her face and glanced between Quinn and Santana, lacing her fingers through Quinn's and pulling it close to her torso. "As Quinn said, though, we'll be there together and I expect it will make things markedly easier on the both of us."

Santana seemed to be searching Rachel's face for something, and it interested Quinn. She almost looked sympathetic. "Must be hard," the Latina commented. "You know, losing people like you guys have."

Both Rachel and Quinn nodded separately, and Quinn squeezed Rachel's hand tightly.

"So ... how do you guys ... I mean, how do you trust your feelings? Aren't you afraid of losing each other? Other people?" Santana looked hesitant as she spoke, and her eyes darted about a couple of times before settling on the floor at her feet.

Quinn shared an understanding look with Rachel before she made her way to the recliner and sat in Santana's lap, wrapping her arms around her best friend's neck and resting her head atop Santana's. She felt the Latina's warm arms encircle her waist, "You won't lose Britt."

"You don't know that, I fuck things up."

"I don't agree," Rachel piped in, carefully, and she had scooted close enough to find Santana's hand. Surprisingly, Quinn noted, the Latina had allowed Rachel to interlink their hands. Rachel was holding Santana's hand in her lap.

Santana seemed to deflate a little, resting her head against Quinn's collarbone, "I don't know how you guys do it. Trust each other. I'm .. I don't know."

"I understand it though." Quinn murmured carefully.

"Quinn is much like you in that respect. Feelings are difficult to express and trust is hard to establish," Rachel appeared to be running a thumb over the back of Santana's hand. "I have feeling that you'll learn how to express yourself freely at some point, but until then I don't see Brittany growing impatient with you any time soon."

The Latina sighed, squeezed her arm tighter around Quinn's waist and simultaneously squeezed Rachel's hand, "Shit, you guys are so sappy," she rolled her eyes but Quinn felt her grip tighten, "don't know what I'd do without you, Q. And you too, I guess," Santana finished, offering a tentative smile at Rachel, who beamed in response.

They spent the next few hours talking and spending time together, but soon they were all yawning so much that conversation became difficult. At some point, Rachel had fallen asleep on Quinn and the blonde had carried the shorter girl in her arms up the stairs, Santana trailing behind them tiredly, having resigned herself to spending the night. Quinn delicately placed Rachel in the bed, pressing a kiss to the brunette's soft lips. Rachel sleepily smiled in response, eyes fluttering open briefly, before she curled herself beneath the covers. Quinn slipped into pajamas, and when she came back out, Santana was leaning against the door-frame, eyes lingering on Quinn.

"You okay?" Quinn spoke quietly, and Santana only nodded in response. She had a feeling Santana wouldn't say much more, so she went about setting up a few blankets and a couple pillows to make it more comfortable for Santana on the floor.

"I did miss you, Q," Santana stated after a moment, stilling her hand on Quinn's shoulder. Quinn nodded, and smiled a little in response as she squeezed Santana's hand and pulled her into a hug.

"I know you did. Don't worry so much about Britt. That's half your problem, you psyche yourself out before you even feel anything."

Rachel murmured some kind of sleepy agreement, and Santana chuckled. "She's not bad, you know," her voice was quieter now. She nodded in Rachel's direction, indicating the girl Quinn was very much in love with.

"Thank you," Quinn felt a wash of gratefulness. "Get some sleep," she murmured, running a hand over Santana's thick, dark hair. "Rachel's dads make the best breakfast."

Santana nodded and settled herself on the makeshift bed beside Rachel's. "Night Q."

"Night S."

"Night, hobbit."

"Goodnight Santana," Rachel murmured sleepily.

Quinn slipped into bed beside Rachel, sighing softly as she felt Rachel scoot back tightly against her and tug her arm around her waist. Quinn gladly complied with the silent request, pulled Rachel close against her, and fell asleep breathing in the smell of Rachel's shampoo and perfume, but not before placing a quiet kiss against the back of her girlfriend's neck.

###

The next morning, the Berry household was alive with music. Too much music. Quinn awoke without Rachel in her arms, and she groaned as she heard Hiram and Rachel singing in the kitchen, the smell of breakfast wafting up the stairs.

"Jesus, it's like the Sound of Music," Santana's voice rasped from the floor and she groaned, stood, and collapsed into bed beside Quinn.

Quinn chuckled, "Yeah, sometimes it's a little much." She grinned a little bit. "They're all great though."

"Mm, Rachel isn't bad and her dads seem pretty cool. Just all the damn singing and I am not a morning person," Santana rasped, yawned, and glanced over at Quinn. "Food smells good though."

Quinn nodded sleepily, stifled an answering yawn, and nudged Santana, "You sleep okay?"

"Yeah. Thanks for letting me stay."

"It's not really my house, but you're welcome."

"Breakfast!" Rachel sing-songed up the stairs, eliciting an eye-roll from Santana and causing Quinn to smile.

Quinn clapped Santana on the shoulder and her smile widened to a grin, "Welcome to the Berry household."

"I don't know how you stand all this damn chipper shit in the morning."

"It grows on you."

"Even the Barbra and showtunes?"

"Even that."

"Gross."


	5. I Only Get to Say

**Title**: In the Broken Night, Set Against the Sky

**Pairing**: Quinn/Rachel

**A/N**: Okay, so I broke down and started another fic as well. I'm hoping to keep up my usual 1-chapter-a-day pace, but I may stagger this story and the other so the writing load is a little lighter, but we'll see. Knowing me, I'll be too impatient and keep writing even when I get carpal tunnel. _ I hope you're all enjoying this so far! This is the halfway point in the story, probably one of the lighter chapters, as things are about to get serious once they get to New York to see Shelby & Beth (obviously).

_HappyLaura: Haha, wow, you really don't have to apologize for not reviewing the last chapter. ^_^ It's okay. I'm just glad people are reading and enjoying it. I do bang out a chapter in a sitting - anywhere from 4 to 6 hours per chapter - so it can get a little taxing but I do it because I get excited about what's coming in the next chapters. I'm a little impatient, heh. So I update often mostly because I can't make myself wait. :P I love using Rachel's dads as an example of a 'happy' relationship, I feel like it's what Quinn needs to see, to balance out her past.  
>J0EBLACK: Thank you! I'm glad you're enjoying it!<br>Sharene19: Well, I'm glad I made you like Santana a little bit. ;) I actually enjoy playing with her - she lightens the mood when things are too heavy and she also has a really important role in Quinn's life, in this fic. Plus, her humor is awesome, hah. She makes up for Quinn being a little softer and less biting. LOL I'm glad you like the bunny. :P I'm glad to make your day! Many hugs and things!_

###

Chapter 5: **I Only Get to Say**

_Sing out, sing out,  
>the silence only eats us from the inside out;<br>I meant no harm,  
>but I only get to say these words too late..<em>

###

Santana was waiting impatiently outside Rachel's bedroom door. How could Quinn tell? The tell-tale tapping of Santana's foot, impatiently hammering out a beat and counting the seconds. Quinn couldn't help but grin a little bit.

"Rach," she encouraged lightly, "we really should get going, otherwise we're going to be late. It's a 45 minute drive into Cleveland," Quinn knocked lightly on the bathroom door. "I'm sure you look beautiful."

Santana groaned outside the bedroom door, and Quinn heard a muffled, "Oh, please," from the Cheerio.

"I can't believe you want me to go to this ... this barbaric display of animal cruelty! Do you know what they do to train the elephants?" Rachel opened the bathroom door, face painted with distress. "Do you have any idea? I've watched 90 minutes of a documentary chronicling the life of a circus elephant from birth to death - "

"You would," Santana's muffled voice came from the other side of the door, and Quinn did her best not to grin.

"Be quiet, Lopez!" Rachel snapped at the wry comment, "I'm merely saying it's absolutely .." She fumed audibly, a mix between a growl and a groan, something she did when she couldn't find the right words.

"Barbaric?" Quinn offered helpfully and caught Rachel by the waist. "I know, but please? For Britt, at least. She loves the circus and it's Santana's surprise for her." Her arms slipped easily around Rachel's waist, and it constantly marvelled Quinn how easily Rachel fit in to her arms, how good it felt when Rachel's weight would sink back into her, and she had a hard time convincing herself she wanted to leave the house instead of staying in with Rachel.

"Well," Rachel hesitated, and Quinn could hear the resistance leaving her voice, "when you put it that way, I suppose it wouldn't hurt to indulge for one day. However, this is the only time because I absolutely detest the idea of funding something so terribly cruel." Her brow was furrowed, obviously distressed, and Quinn mused how sweet it was that she cared so deeply about things.

Quinn pressed her lips to Rachel's shoulder, and she felt Rachel deflate in her arms, sinking further into Quinn's grasp. Her hands tangled with Quinn's, and they remained there until Santana took the lull as signal it was time to go.

"I swear to God if you guys don't come out of there I'm going to bust this door down," Santana was banging both fists on the other side of the door.

Rachel laughed a little bit, "She's so charming," her tone was sarcastic, and she turned around, arms easily slipping around Quinn's neck. Quinn could feel Rachel leaning up into her, and like it was the first time they'd kissed, her heart raced against her ribs.

"She really will bust down your door," Quinn chuckled, eyes darting from Rachel's lips to her eyes, unconsciously leaning closer as she felt Rachel's warm breath. "Just warning you. We have about - "

Rachel cut Quinn off with one of those kisses that made the ex-Cheerio ache everywhere, capturing her bottom lip with her teeth and sucking lightly before deepening the kiss, tongue slipping past the barrier of Quinn's lips and joining her own. A moan was shared quietly between them, and Quinn was a moment away from shoving Rachel against the door and taking things much further before the door startled them apart reluctantly.

"You guys live together! You can get your mack on later!" Santana was all but tearing the door off the hinges, and finally Rachel unlocked the door and opened it.

"We really must work on your manners, Santana," Rachel stated simply, held her chin aloft, and marched past Santana. "Come, let's go to the cruelty fair before I change my mind and start a petition."

"Bite me, Hobbit."

"Rachel," Quinn poked Santana in the ribs before she took Santana's hand in her own and dragged her down the stairs. "So what's the game plan?"

"Date, kissing, talk."

"How very Puck of you," Quinn rolled her eyes and followed Rachel out to the car, still holding Santana's hand and dragging her behind, "I mean come on, Santana, is that really all the thought you've given it?"

"I came up with the idea to go to the circus."

"Brilliant," Rachel shot over her shoulder, arched an eyebrow, and caught the keys as Quinn tossed them to her. They'd be driving Quinn's car to Cleveland, since it was the more reliable out of Santana's, and Rachel technically didn't have her own vehicle. Quinn noted how attractive Rachel looked, wearing jeans and a Cheerio's hoodie she'd stolen from Quinn's room, hair back in a pony-tail, confident look on her face as she got in the car. Quinn bit her bottom lip, distracted by thoughts of how Rachel got more attractive the more confident she acted, and she had apparently stopped in her tracks.

"Quit drooling and let's go," Santana gave her a pointed glare and pushed Quinn toward the car, climbing in the back seat, "we still have to pick up B."

The blonde nodded a bit dumbly, caught Rachel's wry grin, and stuck her tongue out at her as she climbed into the passenger's seat. "What are you lookin' at?" She shoved Rachel's shoulder gently.

"I should ask you the same thing," Rachel grinned at her, and she got that predatory look. Quinn forgot how to breathe again, then shook it off by pretending she didn't know what Rachel was talking about. Rachel only laughed at her and threw the car into drive.

Apparently, Rachel driving Quinn's car (admittedly a very nice vehicle) was a turn on for Quinn, because more than once she found herself biting her bottom lip hard enough to leave marks, especially when Rachel would look over and catch her staring. She vaguely registered Santana talking, but when Rachel's eyes caught her, she felt dazed every single time. Quinn tried her best to hide it, but the tell-tale flush to her cheeks must have given her away, because when Rachel parked in front of Brittany's and Santana climbed out, Rachel reached over, hand trailing dangerously up Quinn's thigh. Quinn didn't know if she should regret wearing a sundress, because Rachel was quite literally raking her nails up Quinn's thighs. Her hazel eyes shot open wide and she stopped Rachel's hand from trailing any higher.

"You keep looking at me like you're ... hungry," Rachel grinned knowingly. "Am I doing something in particular?" Her fingers wiggled for emphasis and tried to slip higher.

Quinn groaned, narrowed her eyes, "Stop that. You're just, .. you're all confident right now and driving my car and you just .. " Quinn felt the lust building in her chest, compressing her lungs a bit, and she swallowed her words - mostly because she simply couldn't find any.

"I'll keep that in mind, Fabray," Rachel all but purred, leaned over, and caught Quinn's earlobe with her lips before kissing down her neck. Rachel's fingers slipped around Quinn's throat, causing the blonde to gasp.

"Okay, okay," Quinn pleaded softly, whimpering as she reluctantly peeled Rachel from her, hand gently pushing against her side and grinning playfully. "Later, later, I'll pay for the whole circus thing 'cause I have a feeling this is like payback." She'd made the mistake of letting her guard down because Rachel's hand slipped underneath Quinn's dress. "Rachel!" She hissed, batted away Rachel's wandering hand, blushed profusely.

Rachel laughed throatily, deviously, gave Quinn a seductive once-over before she looked in the mirror and started fixing her pony-tail as if she'd done nothing. Quinn groaned and dropped her head against the back of her seat, breathing out her sexual frustration, listening to Rachel laugh in that way that told Quinn she was quite pleased with her girlfriend's reaction.

"Tease," Quinn growled.

"You're the one who stopped me," Rachel beamed over.

Brittany hopped into the backseat, seconds later, chirping a hello and dipping her head against Santana's shoulder as she climbed in next to her, "Where are we going?"

"It's a surprise, Britt," Santana spoke lightly, nudging the taller Cheerio.

"A surprise for me?"

Santana nodded simply. Quinn made a note to pull Santana aside for a moment later, just to help her formulate what she should actually say to Britt when she confessed her actual feelings. For a while now, Santana had been struggling with telling Brittany that she simply loved her, was in love with her. The pair were obviously dedicated to one another, but Brittany was always waiting for Santana to finally be honest about how she felt. Quinn thought Brittany deserved that, and so did Santana. They were already happy together, so she imagined it would only make them far happier.

"Is this like when you surprised me with that - " Brittany's words were muffled and Santana looked panicked, her hand firmly over Brittany's mouth as she mumbled out the rest of whatever that sentence was.

Rachel and Quinn shared an amused look. Quinn chuckled awkwardly, palm resting on her forehead.

###

"Tree?"

"How'd you guess?"

"It's the only thing out there, Britt."

"Oh. Well, how about the ABC game then?"

"No."

Britt sank into her seat, and Quinn laughed a little bit at the pair in the backseat. They fell silent, and Quinn dared a glance back, only to see Santana and Brittany making out quite happily. "Oh, god! My eyes! They burn!"

Rachel jumped in the driver's seat, turned her head around, "Oh my god! Not in the car!"

"Squirt gun, get the squirt gun!" Earlier, Quinn had thought Rachel was just being frivolous when the brunette had suggested bringing a squirt gun in the car in case Santana and Brittany got a little too hot and heavy in Quinn's car. After all, if she and Rachel limited their PDA, it only seemed fair that Santana have limits as well. Rachel fumbled with one hand, the other still on the wheel, and fished out the squirt gun she'd stashed alongside her seat. Quinn nearly dropped it, fumbling in midair before she righted the little squirt gun. "Lopez, break away from the girl now," Quinn warned, an eyebrow arched as she turned around, facing the pair.

Santana broke away slowly, "Oh you are not going to - "

_Squirtsquirt_. "Cool it, Lopez." Two streams of water hit Santana directly in the middle of the forehead, and Rachel high-fived Quinn for the good aim. Next thing Quinn knew, Santana was trying to wrestle away the gun and Rachel was rambling in a panic about driving laws and driving while distracted, but Quinn and Santana were too busy wrestling the gun between them to notice.

Brittany only leaned away from the pair, laughing quietly. "So why won't anyone tell me where we're going?"

"It's a surprise!" Santana scolded affectionately through a grunt as Quinn wrenched away the water gun from her hands. "Damnit, Fabray, I'm gonna kick your ass when we get out of this car."

"Hey now," Rachel warned, "there will be no violence in or around this car. I quite like it an apparently Quinn likes when I drive it."

"I bet," Santana folded her arms over her chest, the words mumbled between her lips as she leaned against Brittany. "I bet she really likes when you drive it."

"Yes, in fact, she seems to - " The realization dawned on Rachel's face that she wasn't talking about the car, and Quinn laughed when Rachel turned beet red, "That's very inappropriate, Santana," she sank low in the driver's seat.

"Careful, Frodo, if you sink any lower then you won't be able to see over the dash," Santana chortled and shoved Rachel's shoulder gently in light play, her way of letting Rachel know she was kidding around with her. "You're in common company, obviously, even though you two are all ... proper and shit about PDA. What's that about, anyway?"

"I just feel it makes it more meaningful if those kind of moments are shared between us alone," Rachel informed Santana, and Quinn saw her eyes flash to the rear-view mirror as she spoke and her posture straightened once again.

Quinn nodded in agreement, "It's not because we're ashamed or anything," Quinn filled in the next bit, glancing over her shoulder at Santana, "just seems nicer when I don't have people staring at me when I kiss Rachel."

Santana made an expression of mock-disgust. "Ew."

_Squirtsquirtsquirt. _"Don't ew my girlfriend, Lopez."

"That goddamn gun is about to get tossed out the window," Santana lunged forward, trying to grab the gun from Quinn again, but Quinn leaned forward and held it to her chest like a football player might if they planked on the football field. Santana was grunting and trying to reach far enough to get the gun from Quinn, but Quinn wasn't budging and she was too far away for the Latina to grab at.

Quinn was laughing deviously to herself as she felt Santana's hand flailing at her back.

"You two are like children," Rachel gave Santana a pointed glare, smacked her hand into the back-seat.

"Tell your girlfriend to stop squirting me in the face!"

"You deserved it both times," Rachel lifted her chin haughtily and looked away from Santana's reflection.

Quinn didn't move, only glanced from where she was curled, and slipped the gun to her feet. She kicked it forward far enough before sitting back up. Santana's hand flew between the seats, expecting the gun to be in Quinn's hand, but only found empty air as Quinn clutched Santana's hand and made motion to bite it. Santana recoiled and her nostrils flared in irritation.

All the while, Quinn listened to the sound of Rachel's airy, amused laughter. She glanced aside, hazel eyes sparkling in mirth, and shared a wide grin with Rachel. When Santana decided she had enough retaliation, Quinn reached across the console and her hand found Rachel's. Inwardly, she felt the warmth of relief. There was something about contact with Rachel that still made her stomach flutter and her head spin, even when holding hands. It was comforting, just perfect, and she felt Rachel squeeze her hand as if she was thinking the same thing. Quinn rested her head against the back of the seat, neck craned a bit as she looked over at Rachel. Occasionally, she'd see Rachel's dark eyes dart in her direction, or her nose wrinkle playfully as she stuck the tip of her tongue out from between her grin. The light played on Rachel's face perfectly, and Quinn felt everything rush at her all at once - months ago, the first song she'd sang to Rachel, the first time they'd kissed, the first time they'd made love, spending nights around the fire in Colorado, wrapped in each other's arms in some way. It was absolutely indescribable.

In the backseat, Santana commented in a grumpy tone, "Oh, I can't make out with Britt but you guys can moon at each other all you want."

"To be fair, it's not the same thing," Rachel stated over her shoulder.

"Totally just as gross to watch."

"I'd like to watch them make out," Brittany commented. Santana sighed and covered her face with her hands, shaking her head in a resigned way.

Quinn wrinkled her nose, "Sorry, B, I don't think I want to make out in front of anyone."

"Me either," Rachel's laugh bubbled up and Quinn felt it infect her heart. She grinned at the brunette.

"Ah, here we are," Quinn sighed carefully, leaning forward in her seat as if she was spotting a good parking spot, even though she wasn't the one driving. From afar, it didn't look much different from a stadium, so Quinn hoped Santana's surprise wouldn't be spoiled.

"Are we going to watch baseball?" Brittany questioned in a confused tone.

"Better," Santana commented, smirking, and Quinn saw her hand slip into Brittany's sweetly. Inwardly, Quinn marked down Santana's brownie points. After all, she really rooted for Santana to learn how to be a little sweeter, at least with Brittany. She always took care of the blonde, but she just needed to show genuine affection more.

"It looks like that place that they say bears play. Is it a petting zoo?"

"Bears?"

"Yeah, in Chicago."

"Oh, that's a team, not actual bears," Quinn responded, glancing in the backseat. "But I guess you're kind of close."

Santana smacked Quinn's shoulder, and as Rachel parked, Santana hopped out of the backseat and helped Brittany out. She motioned for Quinn and Rachel to hang back for a minute as she took Brittany's hand.

Rachel glanced over at Quinn, and smirked. She wrinkled her nose as they waited to get out of the car, giving Santana and Brittany a good head-start. "What was that you were saying earlier about me being a tease?"

Quinn felt a grin break out on her face, and she shrugged a shoulder. As much as she wanted to play coy, she couldn't help but satiate her urges. She leaned across the console, captured Rachel's lips in a slow, sweet kiss, wanting to communicate everything she felt and wanted. Rachel seemed taken aback, but soon her fingers were delicately stroking the back of Quinn's neck as their lips melded together.

The amount of love Quinn felt for this girl was unbelievable. It seemed to grow every day and it felt like something alive in her. She didn't know how she'd gone so long being Rachel's enemy, when it felt so absolutely perfect being just Rachel's.

Rachel broke away after a bit, smiled against Quinn's lips, "Wow," she breathed softly.

Quinn smiled triumphantly, leaned forward and placed a markedly more chaste kiss on Rachel's lips, "I like making you speechless." The sound of Rachel's quiet laughter made Quinn's grow even more, "We should probably join Santana and Britt," she sighed a little, pressing a few more quick kisses to Rachel's face and nose before she pulled away from a blushing Rachel. The grin wouldn't lessen any, even as Quinn opened the door for Rachel and took her hand, striding a good 20 feet behind Santana and Brittany.

"Do you think Brittany will be happy?" Rachel interlaced their fingers and swung their hands between them, glancing at the taller girl.

Quinn nodded, "She's been waiting for this forever. At least, since she realized she had real feelings for Santana. Santana's just .. afraid that if she voices how she feels, it'll mean that she has more to lose," she explained, pulling Rachel's hand close to her hip and walking closer beside her. "She's had it really rough."

"She's never really talked about her family, does it have something to do with that?" Rachel inquired quietly beside Quinn, the pad of her thumb tracing over Quinn's skin idly.

"They lost their dad when Santana was young," Quinn explained, brow furrowed, "her mom has some ... issues," she hesitated, knowing Santana was very private about her family life.

Rachel took in the information, nodded simply. She didn't have any response, judging from her silence. Either that or she was mulling over the thoughts in her mind. Quinn's eyes shifted beside her, feeling that familiar surge in her heart, and she pulled Rachel's hand up to her lips, kissing each knuckle and the back of her hand. Rachel flushed, smiled softly. It was hard to believe sometimes, the fact that Rachel was hers and that she was Rachel's. It had been the greatest thing to happen to her, and she'd single-handedly made Quinn's life better.

Ahead of them, Brittany was bouncing up and down - Quinn assumed she'd figured out it was the circus, because there was a clown in the parking lot selling souvenirs just outside the entrance to the stadium - and hugging Santana. Santana's face was alight with one of the biggest grins Quinn had ever seen on her. There was never any doubt that Santana loved Brittany, not by the way she reacted to Britt's joy. Santana took Brittany's face in her hands and kissed her sweetly, and they stood there for a moment, foreheads resting against one another. From afar, Quinn couldn't hear what they were saying, but Santana was undoubtedly saying sweet words to the girl she loved.

Beside Quinn, Rachel squealed a little, "They're so adorable," she crooned a bit and lay her head against the ex-Cheerio's arm. After a few moments, they caught up to the pair, although Quinn would've given the pair more time if Brittany hadn't turned around and waved for them to hurry up.

"San said we get to see the circus animals, too!" Britt kissed Santana again, and Quinn thought it was adorable that Santana flushed red and answered with a wide, beaming smile.

"Come on, midget, I know you're having trouble keeping up with those legs of yours," Santana recovered from the flush of her cheeks with her normal defensive behavior, a smirk on her lips. "Good news is we get to see circus midgets - maybe you'll meet your real parents," she nudged Rachel as the shorter brunette passed them, Quinn in tow.

"That was clever, Santana, I didn't see that one coming," Rachel snickered and rolled her eyes. Quinn could hear the sarcasm in her voice, and found herself chuckling as she let Rachel lead them into the circus stadium.

###

Brittany was marvelling at the size of the elephant beside her, as she gingerly reached out and touched the skin. Santana was watching with affection in her eyes, while Rachel and Quinn moved along the rest of the viewing area. The show had been spectacular, even Rachel had grudgingly admitted that much, and she had stopped lecturing them all on animal cruelty when she saw that the animals weren't chained to the floor in the back. She still balked a little bit about it, but Quinn saw her looking at the animals more in awe than pity. Quinn felt Rachel stop beside her, saw the shorter girl delicately graze her fingers over the trunk of one of the elephants.

"You can just see how intelligent they are," Rachel's voice was soft, reverent. She was looking into the eye of the elephant on her side, and she let go of Quinn's hand to gently stroke the elephant's skin. The animal responded, trunk rising to meet Rachel's arm, and the delight on her face made Quinn feel a rush of affection. Quinn reached out as well, felt the animal's dry skin as the trunk reached between them, curiously probing the two smaller creatures beside it.

"Yeah," Quinn spoke softly, and saw exactly what Rachel meant. The way the creature looked at them was the way a wise person might examine someone who'd posed a question - only Quinn thought maybe the question was their existence. Quinn found herself lost in the moment, standing beside Rachel and this old elephant. Behind them, Quinn heard Santana's voice, lowered, soft.

"Britt-Britt?" Santana spoke, and Quinn heard the nervous waver in her voice.

"San?" Brittany's voice responded. Rachel and Quinn glanced over their shoulders. The pair were ducked together quietly.

"I suck at this stuff sometimes, I know."

"You don't," Brittany's assurance was sweet, and she took both of Santana's hands in her own.

"I just .. I've never said it, and I wanted you to have a really good day. I knew you'd like this, and, I mean I want you to know why I .."

"San, you don't have to, I know words are hard for you.."

"I love you, Britt. More than anything. I know I'm not any good at this. I know sometimes I can be a bitch...No, just let me finish, please, I need to say this before I lose the words. I want to be with you, need it, and I mean if watching the midget and Preggo has taught me anything it's that I don't have to be so afraid," as Santana spoke these words, quiet and hushed, Quinn thought this was the most poetic Santana had ever allowed herself to be, the most vulnerable, "and I just need you to know I'm in love with you." As she finished, it sounded like she exhaled nervously.

"Do you mean all that?" It took Brittany a few moments to respond.

"I do," Santana almost sounded tearful, and as Quinn felt the elephant trunk nudge her hand and wrap around her wrist, she glanced behind her and saw Santana's eyes sparkling with tears as she nodded.

"I love you so much, Santana." The sounds behind them suggested an emotional hug. Quinn felt a breath of relief escape her lungs for Santana. She knew how much Santana had been stressing over this very moment, and it had ended well.

Rachel seemed happy, too, because she beamed at Quinn and kissed her, only breaking apart when the elephant beside them probed the space between their torsos, causing Rachel to laugh and wrinkle her nose, arms wrapping briefly around the elephant's head the best she could. The giant creature bumped them both, as if it too had derived some joy from the comfort and the love flowing between the four girls near its stable.

###

The foursome had arrived at the Berry household later that evening, all spent from the emotions they'd expended during the day. Santana and Brittany were markedly more affectionate with one another, Santana glowing like she'd just opened the best Christmas gift ever. Quinn felt happy for her, and as she hugged Santana goodbye, she squeezed her just a little tighter than normal.

"Told you it would be fine," Quinn murmured against the Latina's ear, feeling the warmth of Santana's arms squeezing her with equal need.

Santana chuckled, "Thanks, Q," she responded before breaking away. Her hand warmly grasped Quinn's before she and Britt reconnected, deciding to walk back to Santana's house, presumably to talk and just be together.

"Why do I feel like we've played matchmaker?" Rachel slipped an arm around her waist, rested her head in the crook of Quinn's shoulder.

"We kind of did," Quinn laughed. "I mean they were already together but Santana needed us."

"Agreed."

"We leave tomorrow," Quinn mused, felt Rachel tugging her inside. The door closed behind them and Rachel lead the blonde upstairs. "Bright and early."

"We do," Rachel responded simply, that confident air taking her over again as she turned around, walking backwards into her room and narrowing her gaze playfully. "I guess you'll be tired then."

Before Quinn could think too much, Rachel had closed the door behind them somehow, and was grabbing at Quinn's hips, shoving her delicately backward and grinning deviously as she approached. It stunned the ex-Cheerio how incredibly turned on it made her feel when Rachel took charge, the hungry look in her eyes toppling Quinn over the rest of the way as Rachel climbed on top of her, straddling her hips and leaning over Quinn. Her curtain of hair fell around her shoulders, and Quinn's hands slid up to rest on Rachel's hips. "You're so beautiful," she whispered in awe, and shortly after felt Rachel lean down and capture her lips in a slow, passionate kiss. "I love you, Rach," she breathed against Rachel's lips.

"You talk too much," Rachel teased, rocked her hips downward, causing Quinn's head to fall back as she let out a quiet gasp. Quinn felt a trail of hot kisses from her neck to her collarbone, Rachel's tongue dipping out against warm flesh every time. Quinn's heart raced, hammered against her ribs, and she was biting her lip to keep from making too many noises right away. Her breath hitched as Rachel's hand easily snaked upward and found a breast, kneading through the fabric of Quinn's bra. "This is payback," Rachel's voice was husky against her ear, and Quinn's torso arched upward into Rachel's needy grasp. As her hand slipped underneath the fabric of Quinn's bra, found a hard nipple, rolled it between her thumb and fingertips, Quinn gasped out and crushed her lips to Rachel's, not before Rachel breathed hotly against her lips, "I love you."

It made Quinn's arousal all the more intense as Rachel breathed those words. Her emotions surged and melted into her arousal, a small moan erupting from her throat. She felt Rachel's ministrations get needier, hungrier, felt the slow, steady cant of Rachel's hips against her own. She was gasping through each kiss and her hands found the curve of Rachel's backside, gripped hard - something that made Rachel react more aggressively every time - causing Rachel to rock hard against Quinn's hips. Quinn enjoyed frustrating Rachel when the brunette tried taking control of the situation.

Rachel growled, gasped, and bit Quinn's lip softly before she pinned Quinn's hand down with one of her own. She fished momentarily beneath Quinn's dress, slipped the blonde's bra loose, and freely explored newly bared flesh. Quinn weakened under that hungry stare, her eyes dropping closed as she let Rachel take over, relenting control for once.

It wasn't long before Rachel had Quinn's dress on the floor, her supple lips grazing the flesh of Quinn's bare chest eagerly, a thigh nestled in between her own. It was complete overload as Rachel rocked against her, continuing a slow and steady cant.

"Fuck," Rachel breathed, apparently bringing herself to a point of unbearable arousal. She suddenly was frantically helping Quinn out of her panties, and slipping out of her own clothing. The feeling was unbelievable as their bare skin made contact, Rachel panting against Quinn's lips as they found the familiar sensations of joining, Rachel's eager fingers slipping inside Quinn. It was unbelievable, the way Rachel knew just what to do to make Quinn forget everything she'd ever known. "Fuck, you feel so good, Quinn," Rachel sounded more aroused than ever, fingers curling deep inside Quinn.

It's the last thing Quinn could remember consciously hearing, because if Rachel's metaphor for stars was anything it was quite accurate that everytime Rachel took control, Quinn could see nothing but stars.

###

Exhaustion swept over Quinn as soon as they sat down on the airplane, and she saw Rachel smiling at her knowingly, "Yeah, well, you get to be my pillow so that's fine." Quinn teased softly, lacing their fingers together. The pair settled in for the flight to New York, both undoubtedly experiencing nerves unparamount.

"So my mother says she'll meet us - with Beth - at the airport."

Quinn's stomach did a few flips, and she nervously grasped Rachel's hand. She swallowed at the knot in her throat and she nodded quietly, taking a deep breath. She found she couldn't steady her nerves. Rachel's eyes were lingering on her, and Quinn found words stumbling from her mouth nervously, "I'm so scared, Rach. I haven't seen her since - " hot tears burned at her eyes and she closed them, found herself wishing the plane wouldn't leave the ground, but the engine was warming up and they'd be taking off in ten minutes, "I haven't seen her since I had her and I don't know if I'm ready for this."

Rachel insistently turned Quinn's face in her hands, took in her features, traced soothing fingers against her skin, "Hey, listen to me, listen," Rachel persisted, pressing warm kisses to Quinn's lips. Quinn's eyes were tear-filled but she kept her gaze steady on the brunette's, "you can do this. You're amazing and it's going to be okay, I swear to you. It'll be scary, I know you're scared, but we can do this. I'll be with you the whole time, I swear to you. Okay? I won't let you go through it alone."

Quinn nodded, tearfully pressing her lips to Rachel's. The girls clutched to one another after breaking apart, Quinn burying her face against Rachel's neck and holding herself close. She felt herself trembling slightly. The ex-Cheerio breathed in her girlfriend's perfume, willing it to soothe all her fears, but all she could see was Beth. The lull of the last few days were pouring into her head, and all of a sudden all she'd been supressing hit her at once. She was petrified, and it was making her dizzy.

Rachel rocked Quinn softly, "Hey," she whispered against Quinn's ear, "hey, sing to me," she insisted softly.

"You're kidding," Quinn laughed quietly against the curtain of Rachel's hair. Her fingers tangled in brown locks.

"Not at all. Sing to me."

Quinn did her best to get her trembling voice under control, focused her thoughts. Her heart was racing from the emotions she'd felt rushing into her veins, and her hand grasped Rachel's tightly. "Always and forever, we'll be free," she sang quietly between them, her forehead resting against Rachel's temple, "always and forever, be with me," her voice felt stronger, her fear lessened. The lullaby they sang to one another always had this soothing effect. Quinn didn't even realize they were ascending into the sky until clouds were billowing through her periforal vision. "We'll have love aplenty, we'll have joys outnumbered," she felt Rachel's fingers tangling in her hair, drawing soothing shapes against her scalp.

"We'll have perfect moments, you and me," Rachel finished tenderly, kissed Quinn's palm softly.

"It'll be okay," Quinn took a breath, assuring herself as she closed her eyes. She truly felt it would be, too. She felt everything would be alright as long as Rachel was with her. Quinn knew this was something she needed, something she had to do for closure. She had to let herself be okay with this decision she'd made what seemed like a lifetime ago. Her hand still trembled a little, but she knew it would be alright.

The flight to New York passed by relatively quick after that, Rachel soothing Quinn's nerves by continuing to hum the soft melody against her ear. At some point Quinn had fallen asleep, then woken up to Rachel looking at her with more love than she could adequately express. Quinn smiled bashfully, sleepily.

"We'll be landing in 10 minutes," she informed the blonde, gently ran her fingers through her hair appraisingly, fixing Quinn's hair for her. Quinn rubbed her eyes, nodded as she sat up, not letting go of Rachel's hand.

Nerves returned, though not as fiercely as they had before. It was terrifying, but Rachel's voice became her mantra as she ran the lullaby through her mind over and over again. The plane began its descent, and Quinn heard the sound of people buckling their seat-belts again, the low murmur of pre-landing jitters. Quinn took a steadying breath, glanced out the window as the landing strip approached slowly.

Rachel smiled comfortingly at her, stroked her blonde locks once more. Quinn offered a similar smile. She knew this was just as nerve wracking for Rachel, but in some ways far more terrifying for her.

"I love you," Quinn breathed out, before she kissed Rachel lovingly.

Rachel nodded, smiled, "I would've never guessed," she joked quietly before pulling away. The plane jarred a bit as it landed, but it was smooth afterward, as the plane docked and people began standing up, getting luggage out. The girls ended up in the single-file line, holding on to one another's hands tightly as they sidled out of the plane. Quinn was glad for the fresh air, but as soon as the sight of the arrival gate greeted her, she felt the distinct urge to turn and run as fast as she could. She still held Rachel's hand tightly, and saw the same look of nervousness in Rachel's eyes. They shared a quiet, tender kiss, before Quinn took a steeling breath and they made their way determinedly through the throng of people. Feet ahead of them, people were charging into one another's arms, hugging family members and kissing missed lovers. Quinn scanned the crowd nervously. It seemed so surreal, the crowd parting and rejoining, people colliding into one another.

Rachel's gasp gave it away, the small diva stopping momentarily before she broke away from Quinn. She charged towards her mother, excitedly. It was only when she hesitated a foot away from Shelby Corcoran that Quinn could tell she was nervous. Rachel hesitated before wrapping her arms tightly around her mother. Shelby grasped her older daughter tightly for a moment, then her dark eyes slid up, and she smiled distantly at Quinn. Rachel hadn't let go of her mother yet, but her head turned to acknowledge Quinn and their eyes locked. She gave Quinn an encouraging smile.

Quinn was frozen. Beside Shelby, the stroller sat, and two little pink-shoed feet were wiggling. She didn't know if she was breathing or not, but she felt vaguely dizzy. She couldn't move, and her mouth dried as if she'd taken a bar of chalk and eaten it. Quinn barely saw Shelby, or Rachel, couldn't register anything but those two little feet, bouncing in the air. Her hand fell to her flat stomach, tears filled her eyes. She wanted to scream, cry, tell them she couldn't do this, tell them it was a mistake, but nothing came out.

The ex-Cheerio didn't realize that Rachel had even broken away from Shelby and approached her until she felt a warm hand in her own.

"It's okay," Rachel whispered softly. Quinn could only nod numbly and her legs wouldn't work just yet. The blonde slowly moved forward after some urging from Rachel, Rachel's hand on the small of her back. Tears were most definitely in Quinn's eyes, and Rachel brushed them away.

"Shelby.. er, Mom," Rachel hesitantly spoke as they finally reached Shelby, "this is Quinn. My girlfriend, as you know."

"It's good to meet you again, Quinn," Shelby's voice was soft, warm like Rachel's, somehow sweet and sultry all at once. Quinn couldn't hear much over the rushing in her ears, though. Her hazel eyes met Shelby's for a moment and she nodded in acknowledgement.

"Sorry, I - I.." Quinn had no words, and they wouldn't stumble out of her mouth. The little blonde girl staring up at her was far too distracting, too beautiful for words. Tears were now freely falling, her chin trembled as she tried not to sob. She could only offer a tearful smile when the 9 month old girl cooed up at her. Dark brown eyes like Puck's, but blonde hair like her own. Quinn was trembling, and registered that Shelby was talking to her, that Shelby's hand was on her shoulder to soothe her, but she shook off the touch gently and she kneeled before the stroller, looking into the eyes of the child she'd carried inside her stomach a lifetime ago. Gently, the first time since she'd birthed the girl, she reached forward and delicately stroked Beth's palm with a finger. The child grasped immediately, giggling as if she recognized her mother. "Hi, Beth," Quinn stated, joyful tears in her eyes. She wanted to sob, with joy and sorrow and confusion, but she could only think that this was the most beautiful little girl on earth. She could feel the tether between them, feel Beth responding to her. "Can I.. can I uhm.."

Shelby merely nodded in appreciative silence and offered Quinn a gentle smile. Rachel's mother leaned down and unbuckled the girl from her seat, freeing her for Quinn to hold.

Quinn gasped tearfully, smiled, and knew Rachel was watching her with a mixture of protectiveness and adoration. She couldn't see anything but Beth right now, though, and gently she lifted the healthy little girl into her arms. The child immediately seemed to take to Quinn, her small hands touching Quinn's face and nose, little giggles coming out sporadically. "Hi," Quinn laughed. Her voice was thick with emotion, arms hugging the little girl close and bouncing her on her hip just a little bit. "You're so beautiful, Beth," she whispered softly to the little girl, who only experimentally continued touching her face.

Quinn wasn't sure if her heart was breaking or not, but it felt so full she didn't know what to do. She only held on to Beth carefully, held her tightly against her. The little girl's head dipped against Quinn's shoulder, and Quinn thought she would've fallen to pieces if she could have. Her fingers stroked the baby's fine, soft hair, listening to her coo and chatter a tiny bit.

"She's perfect," Quinn spoke tearfully.

Rachel reached up, squeezed Quinn's arm tightly, "Just like her mom." Rachel's brown eyes were full of tears for the blonde. Shelby was watching protectively but with a gentle gaze, her arm wrapped tightly around Rachel's shoulders. The reunion was so full of emotion, she couldn't breathe very well.

Beth was grasping at Quinn's hair softly, and sat up the best she could against Quinn's chest. The little child felt warm against her, felt perfect in her arms. There were no words, no appropriate poetic expressions, no amount of feeling, no amount of art or music or symphonies blaring, for everything rushing through Quinn at the moment. Her daughter, her child, though no longer her own, was in her arms, touching her face and hair, cooing. Tears streamed down her cheeks as she delicately stroked Beth's soft hair. Instinctively, she pressed her lips to Beth's forehead as the little girl sat up again, appraising Quinn thoughtfully. She definitely had Puck's eyes. Her thumb stroked Beth's cheek, marvelling at the soft skin, and smiled through her stinging tears, "I'm so glad to see you," she whispered, a soft plea of forgiveness somewhere in those words.

"Come on," Shelby spoke after a quiet moment, looped an arm around Quinn's shoulder. "Let's get to the car. We'll have dinner at home and you girls can fill me in on everything. And you, Rachel, can explain how your enemy became your girlfriend," she grinned softly at Rachel. Rachel was beaming happily at her mother, biting her lip thoughtfully, and burying her head against Shelby's shoulder.

Family. It meant so many things, but right now, it meant that the baby girl in her arms was the one she'd given birth to, the one she'd given up, the one she loved more than anyone else on the planet and missed every single day. It meant the lover walking nearby, and the woman who'd lovingly taken Beth as her own. It meant the four girls walking through that airport were all tethered, all connected, forever more. Quinn couldn't stop staring at Beth, even as she used her free hand to push the empty stroller through the doors. She felt a surge of gladness she'd agreed to come, agreed to give this to Rachel, because it was already turning out to be the greatest gift she'd ever accepted from Rachel. Beth cooed, dipped her head against Quinn's shoulder, as her small hands grasped the collar of Quinn's hoodie.


	6. Snap Out of It

**Title**: In the Broken Night, Set Against the Sky

**Pairing**: Quinn/Rachel

**A/N**: Lyrics from "Lifeboats" by Snow Patrol. I apologize for the day lapse in this update - I would have updated this as well yesterday but I was at the swimming pool all day getting fried. When I got home in the evening, I was totally drained and I knew if I'd written when I was feeling that drained, I wouldn't be able to get into Quinn's head as well as I normally can in situations that are this emotional for her. Anyway, thank you SO so much for the kind reviews, for everyone who's reading this. It means so much to me that you guys enjoy it. Thank you, thank you!

Catrien Ayala: I'm glad you enjoyed the last chapter! I really do try to strive for a more realistic approach, so usually I don't put my characters through more than I'd expect myself to go through in the same situation, haha. I just adore the girls as a whole and I think Quinn's emotional state is important to portray the right way. ^_^  
><span>HappyLaura:<span> As always, you flatter me. I'm so glad you liked the chapter. Lol, I love playing with Rachel, she's so funny when flustered. :D  
><span>kymikub:<span> I'm glad I wasn't the only one! :P I ended up crying as I was writing the airport scene, lol.  
><span>vampiretiger:<span> Yay I hooked another! Bahaha. I'm glad you enjoyed it, in all seriousness.  
><span>Sharene19:<span> Mission accomplished. I'm depriving more people of exposure to the outside world. Muahah. Just kidding. Kind of. ;) Quinn's growing up indeed and I adore her for it. Rachel, on the other hand, is just so adorable I can't stand it. Thank you again for the sweet review.

###

Chapter 6: **Snap Out of It**

_Wake up, wake up  
>dreaming only leads to more and more nightmares;<br>snap out of it,  
>you said it in a way that showed you really cared...<em>

###

"Hey," the hand at her back slid up gently, cupped the curve of her shoulder, and Quinn felt a rush of comfort and warmth as she realized it was Rachel beside her. Quinn took a break from unpacking, and sought out the outpouring of affection in Rachel's eyes. They'd made it back to Shelby's apartment - quite impressive in size - amidst conversation and a retelling of how Quinn and Rachel had ended up together. To Quinn's surprise, Rachel had avoided waxing overly poetic about the whole thing, and it was Quinn who'd gotten all emotional about the retelling of how they'd gotten together. Maybe it was the fact her daughter was in a car seat beside her. Quinn had barely been able to take her eyes off the little girl. All of her emotions hadn't fully processed everything - she thought that would probably take quite a while, perhaps the length of their two-week stay with Shelby.

"Fancy meeting you here," Quinn offered a quiet smile and looped her arms around Rachel's waist. She rested her head against Rachel's shoulder and closed her eyes, breathing in her perfume like it would cure all the conflicted emotions in her chest. The shorter girl stood on the tips of her toes, wrapped her arms fully around Quinn's neck.

A soothing hand sifted through her hair, and Quinn felt her breath release quietly. She hadn't realized she'd been holding her breath at all. "Are you doing okay so far?" Rachel inquired softly against the curtain of her hair.

"I think so." Those were really the only words she could offer, because in all reality she didn't know how she was doing. She was happy, unbelievably happy. "How about you?"

"It's easier seeing my mom than I thought it would be," the smile in Rachel's voice was audible, and the brunette squeezed herself a little tighter in Quinn's embrace.

Quinn pulled away, just enough room to speak comfortably to the girl she loved. Her fingers sifted through Rachel's hair in kind as she appraised her expression, her beaming smile, "You're calling her mom," she pointed out, wondering if Rachel had noticed the change.

Rachel nodded, "It just kind of .. "

"Fits?"

Another nod. Quinn smiled a bit.

"Good." The blonde leaned forward, captured Rachel's lips in a slow and loving kiss. She couldn't believe, in the back of her mind, that they were here together, in Shelby's apartment, in the middle of New York City. Quinn expected maybe she'd burst into flames and ash the moment they arrived, because that seemed more logical than her surviving this whole thing, but she was still alive. The pair separated after a little bit, and Quinn grinned widely at the way Rachel would sometimes blush at a particularly sweet kiss, even after what seemed like a very long time together. They knew each other inside and out, but Rachel still blushed it was adorable.

Rachel's head dropped against Quinn's shoulder, "Stop grinning at me like that, Quinn, it's not helping."

Quinn squealed with quiet laughter, "It's just so cute that you _still _blush sometimes."

A hand smacked Quinn's arm as Rachel half-pulled, half-shoved away, and the brunette was grinning to herself and looking at Quinn in a way that warned against laughing anymore.

The ex-Cheerio merely shrugged in response as her laughter softened and she caught Rachel's hand, "So we're having dinner here?"

Rachel nodded and gently tugged Quinn down the hall of Shelby's apartment. Shelby had quite impeccable taste in design. It was surprising how much Rachel's taste in things so closely mirrored her mother's inadvertently. There were even a few star decorations placed around the house, although not overwhelming. Pictures of Shelby with friends and family were everywhere, but what Quinn found herself staring at the most were pictures of Beth. The perfect little girl she'd bore for nine months and then let go. It still astonished her how alike Beth looked to both herself and Puck. Fingers laced in Rachel's, Quinn drew her gaze from yet another photo. She willed herself to focus on Rachel, too, because after all this was in some ways just as difficult for Rachel (and Shelby, she imagined).

Yet, because of Shelby, Quinn had a chance to meet her own daughter much earlier in life. Idly, Quinn wondered if Shelby had ever regretted giving Rachel up, if she'd ever wanted to see her daughter, and hurt every moment she thought of Rachel the way Quinn did over Beth. The blonde hoped, as she followed her girlfriend down the hall, that she could talk with Shelby about everything, maybe get some insight, but she didn't want to take any attention or time away from Rachel either.

"Since I'm the only vegan, you even get to eat grilled chicken tonight," Rachel teased her as they came into the livingroom. Shelby was in the kitchen making dinner for them, and glanced up at the girls. Rachel shared a shy smile with her mother, and Quinn thought there was something perfect about that. Beth was sitting on the livingroom floor, absentmindedly flinging a toy or two around as she chewed on a teething ring. She barely noticed Quinn and Rachel as they came in.

Rachel's hand gently encouraged Quinn toward Beth, and the diva took a seat on the couch, she fished around for the remote and turned the television on, apparently delighted that a Broadway production was on television. Quinn hesitated, but gently dropped to the floor beside her daughter. The blonde leaned against Rachel's legs as she hesitated and picked up one of Beth's toys. Quinn felt unsure, not all-together confident of what she should do or how she should act, not only because of Beth but because of Shelby. Beth was as much her daughter as she was Quinn's, and she really didn't want to offend Shelby by strutting in and assuming a role she didn't feel she'd quite earned. Quinn reached out and stroked Beth's soft hair, offered the child a quiet smile as she offered a toy Beth had cast aside. A small hand reached out and accepted the gift, waved it in the air at Quinn.

"I'm glad you girls decided to stay with me for a couple weeks," Shelby spoke from the kitchen, eyes on the meal she was preparing for all of them.

"We are too," Rachel offered a bashful smile, "thank you for having us," times like this made Quinn realize how truly sweet and polite Rachel was. They were all in - to say the least - and awkward situation. It was the same situation, different ages, possibly different dynamics, but it felt both beautiful and frightening at the same time.

"If you'd like, we can go sight-seeing tomorrow."

Quinn nodded in agreement, "I'd like that," she glanced back at Rachel, who looked just as eager. The brunette was watching her carefully, the way one might look over someone they didn't want to break or shatter in front of them. She offered a gentle squeeze to Rachel's knee and turned her attention back to Beth.

Beth was crawling forward a little, over her small mound of toys, to get to Quinn. Quinn's heart fluttered a little, and she smiled. It felt so surreal, to be here right now. She reached forward and closed the distance by picking Beth up and setting her in her lap. She leaned forward just enough to grab one of Beth's teething rings, amazed at the warmth she felt with a hand wrapped carefully around Beth's stomach. The little girl bounced a little and vocalized just before she placed the teething ring in her mouth. Beth seemed to be regarding her with curiosity, but seemed ultimately comfortable with Quinn holding her.

"She likes you," Shelby had apparently finished getting dinner ready, because she had turned off the mini-grill in the kitchen and come into the livingroom. She took a seat beside Rachel, who flushed shyly at her mother sitting beside her. Shelby's arm wrapped around Rachel's shoulder.

"I hope so," Quinn laughed softly at the irony in the statement, in the situation. Beth seemed to muffle an agreeing noise as she continued staring at Quinn, something she tended to do more of the more Quinn smiled or laughed. Quinn ran fingers gently over Beth's soft scalp. "I like her, too. She's really so beautiful. And happy."

"Most of the time, except when her teeth are hurting," Shelby joked softly. "She's definitely a beautiful girl, but with both you and Puck? I'm not surprised." Rachel's mother was regarding them warmly, and Quinn felt gratitude wash over her at how kind Shelby had been to invite them out there. "You girls ready to eat?" Shelby squeezed Rachel against her side.

"I have to admit I'm quite hungry, food on the plane isn't very vegan friendly and possibly not up to code," Rachel made a face, to which Quinn smiled wryly and Shelby laughed.

"You did not get all that wordiness from me," Shelby teased Rachel softly as she got up from the couch. The older version of Rachel leaned down, questioningly met Quinn's eyes. Quinn felt as if she was asking permission to take Beth from her arms, a surprisingly sweet gesture. Quinn merely nodded and gently passed Beth into Shelby's arms before standing herself. The blonde felt Rachel's hand at her back as she stood, and she gratefully slipped her hand into Rachel's as the foursome moved into the kitchen.

Rachel took a seat nearest the window, leaving the spot beside her open - coincidentally on the left side of Beth's high-chair - and Quinn squeezed her hand gratefully before sitting down. "This looks delicious."

"Vegan lasagna and grilled chicken. The two go surprisingly well together, even though I have to say, Rachel, vegan meals are really complex to make," Shelby pointed out as she placed a few remaining condiments and the lasagna in the middle of the table.

"You didn't have to, I'm not that incredibly picky. You'd be surprised what foods I can still consume as a vegan," Rachel hesitated on her words, then looked up as if she'd been caught in an insult, "but I do appreciate it." Her eyebrows knotted together in uncertainty. Shelby laughed, a light airy laugh similar to Rachel's.

"Is she always this nervous?"

Quinn laughed quietly, "Sometimes." She offered Rachel a squeeze on her knee, smiled. She searched Rachel's face, wanting to soothe Rachel and help her feel better about everything, but for now she knew that it was just beginning jitters. Rachel feared rejection, feared not being able to form a bond with her mother. "I uh.. I wanted to thank you, Shelby. For letting me come along, for letting me .. see Beth," Quinn glanced down, and felt Rachel's hand cover her own under the table. "I know it probably wasn't an easy decision to make, but you have no idea what it means - well, you probably do. It just means so much to me."

Shelby's gaze softened as it moved from Beth to Quinn, and the woman smiled understandingly. "Sweetie, we made it an open adoption for a reason. You don't know how many times I wished I had the nerve to see Rachel, to meet her. I didn't feel like I had a right. I felt like I'd forfeited that right the day I signed the papers to release Rachel from my custody," Shelby's voice had a ghost of the sadness Quinn had felt every day since she'd given Beth up. Watching Shelby, she understood that the woman knew exactly what Quinn felt, what she'd gone through. "I wanted you to have a different experience, I wanted you to have a chance to see Beth, and what means more than that, I wanted her to meet you. I know - " Shelby hesitated, glanced at Rachel as if asking for some kind of forgiveness, "I know how it's affected Rachel, and I .. didn't want that for Beth."

Quinn felt choked with emotion, and she knew Rachel did as well because Rachel was holding on to Quinn's hand under the table for dear life. Those brown eyes were full of tears Rachel couldn't cry, and she watched Rachel offer a tearful smile to her mother. Rachel leaned nearer to Quinn, her attention focused on Beth, "You got really lucky," the younger brunette spoke to Beth playfully, and Beth squealed, flailed her arms wildly, and smiled as if in agreement.

The foursome shared the rest of the meal in relative ease, finally finding things about which they could bond over.

###

"I'm just saying, that is not a good look on anyone," Quinn arched an eyebrow at Rachel, who was contemplating buying one of those Statue of Liberty headbands. "Where would you even wear that?"

Rachel rolled her eyes, "Well, Quinn, what do you suggest I buy, then?"

Quinn glanced around before spotting a shot glass. She held the glass as if she were putting it on display, and laughed as Rachel gasped and tore it from her hands. The diva set it down on the shelf and looked around inconspicuously.

"That's highly inappropriate, Quinn. Highly inappropriate. We aren't even of legal age," Rachel gently shoved Quinn forward to the section of the gift shop with t-shirts.

Laughter bubbled up from somewhere deep in her and she couldn't help it; there was something about Rachel's behavior that just amused Quinn endlessly. She was pretty sure it was amusing Shelby, too, because Rachel and Beth's mom was looking over at the girls with a laughing grin on her face.

Quinn's eyes dropped to Beth briefly and she felt her heart warm. She tried not to get too distracted by her daughter all the time, but part of her couldn't help it. Her hazel eyes lingered for a moment before she stopped with Rachel in front of the sweaters. "Hoodies?"

"I could deal with that," Rachel looked up at the rack of hoodies. She jumped up slightly, just barely too short to reach the rack above them. She shot a glare Quinn's way when the blonde bumped her out of the way and pulled down two medium-sized hoodies.

"Your mom is tall, why are you so short?" Quinn teased and wrinkled her nose at Rachel. Rachel gasped in mock-offense, but before she could say anything, Quinn had ducked away from Rachel and moved over near Shelby. Quinn's hand rested on Shelby's arm and she grinned deviously as Rachel was cut off by the stroller.

"So rude," Rachel playfully fumed, folded her arms over her chest, and both Shelby and Quinn shared a quiet laugh. Rachel huffed, then finally relented with a matching smile. The diva leaned down, kneeled down in front of Beth, and played with the girl's hands for a couple moments before she stood. "Are we ready?"

"I am when you are," Shelby stated with a light grin. "We still have the aquarium to go to," she commented simply and touched Rachel's shoulder in passing, squeezing affectionately before she made her way to the cashier's line.

Quinn watched the exchange with a smile. She felt happy that Rachel had this chance to spend time with Shelby. Idly, she toyed with the hoodies draped over her arm before she slipped her free hand into Rachel's, loving that even now as their fingers laced together, any contact with Rachel was full of reliefand a bursting of affection. They shared a lingering look before Quinn nodded toward the cashier's line, "Shall we?"

Rachel's eyes moved to her mother, and she nodded simply as they moved in behind Shelby in the line. The woman was buying Beth a little onesie, even though as a New Yorker it wasn't common to go buying something from a tourist shop. All three women had agreed, though, that a onesie with "I (heart) New York" was too cute to pass up. After the aquarium, the rest of the day would most likely be spent walking around the main shopping district of New York City, as well as a required visit to Broadway. Shelby had apparently planned a full day for them - schedule and all - something that Rachel must have acquired from her genes.

Quinn felt Rachel bouncing their hands against her thigh as the couple held hands, and her heart warmed as she glanced over at Rachel. "What, you're not going to talk about how cruel aquariums are to cetaceans?"

"I'm surprised you even know that word, Quinn," Rachel wore one of those grins that challenged Quinn to say something equally playful.

Quinn could only scoff and narrow her eyes, "I'd be insulted if I cared," and that part received a gasp as Rachel used her free hand to shove Quinn's shoulder. The pair laughed between them and Quinn found herself looking at Rachel with her heart bursting open. She touched Rachel's face briefly before she realized she could pay for their hoodies. She set the matching pair on the counter, offering the money for them, and accepting the change. Rachel reached over and took the bag, swinging it at her side as they followed Shelby out of the dockside shop. The aquarium wasn't too far away, so they settled on walking. It seemed appropriate, as Rachel wasn't shy to inform them that over half of New Yorkers never actually drove themselves across the city - they either took a cab or walked.

The bustling city was amazing to Quinn, and it was easy to see the appeal. Around them, people walked by, talking on cell phones. Distantly, every once in a while, she'd hear sirens in the distance or blaring car horns. It seemed as if New York didn't know how to be silent in any shape or form, and there was something beautiful about it. Rachel was just as taken with the city as Quinn was. The diva strode beside Shelby, her arm looped in her mother's, her other hand still laced tightly with Quinn's (she'd passed off the souvenir bag to Quinn in order to join arms with her mother). The awe in Rachel's eyes made Quinn feel it as she pulled her gaze away to look up at the buildings surrounding them. Everything moved so quickly in the city, and Quinn wondered what it would have been like to grow up here. The thought reminded her of the little girl in the stroller, and her hazel eyes warmed as she glanced down in Beth's direction. Beth would grow up here. Beth would get chances Quinn had never had, get chances Rachel had never gotten.

Shelby seemed to notice Quinn lost in thought, because the woman glanced over at her and offered a sympathetic smile, "So do I need to give you one of those parent-girlfriend talks? I really don't want to, it seems awkward in the first place," she teased softly. "Since I don't think you and Rachel have stopped having some kind of contact since you got here."

Quinn blushed brightly and laughed, "No, I mean you can if you want," she corrected herself and grinned, "but I did get that talk a couple other times, too."

Shelby laughed and Rachel beamed beside her, as if surprised Shelby cared enough to even offer the dreaded 'what are your intentions' talk.

That was enough to make Quinn happy; she squeezed Rachel's hand briefly before she kissed the back of Rachel's hand. Rachel flushed a little bit and smiled bashfully at the public display of affection. Shelby regarded the action with affection, but she noticed Beth making a bit of extra noise.

"Quinn, could you get her teething ring out of the bag in the front?" Shelby questioned hopefully, and Quinn gladly obliged the chance to do something maternal for Beth. The blonde unattached briefly from Rachel's hand as she knelt down in front of the baby girl.

It was simply moving, seeing Beth's face, seeing the way she reacted to Quinn. Quinn murmured a few soothing words as she searched for the teething ring, one hand distracting Beth by playing with her fingers and the other rifling through the small pouch in the front of the stroller. It felt so natural that Quinn would later feel absolutely blessed to have a tiny moment like that to remember. Quinn found the teething ring, felt that it was just cold enough to give Beth some relief, and she offered a large smile as she gently encouraged Beth to accept it. The little girl kicked happily and chewed on the teething ring. Quinn smiled, touched Beth's face for just a moment before she stood, red-faced with joy, and she felt Shelby's warmth radiate as the mother smiled gratefully at her. Rachel was watching Quinn with a similar smile, and the brunette requested Quinn's hand again by holding her own out in front of her. Quinn accepted Rachel's hand in her own, threading her fingers through Rachel's and swinging her hand between them as they continued down the sidewalk. Ahead of them, the aquarium looked simply enormous.

"In the spirit of a good vacation and meaningful bonding time with family, I'm going to momentarily save you all the lecture on the reprecussions of keeping sea creatures in man-made ecosystems," Rachel informed them all with a lift of her chin, and Shelby seemed to be grinning out of a mixture of affection and amusement.

"She does that sometimes," Quinn teased, glancing at Shelby, "You'll get used to it."

"Noted," Shelby laughed a little bit and nudged Rachel, "I don't know whether to be proud or concerned," she joked softly and Rachel only shrugged her shoulder lightly.

"I am who I am."

"Indeed you are," Quinn wrinkled her nose, playfully pulling away, but she felt Rachel's arms wrap around her neck from behind as Rachel hopped up onto Quinn's back, surprising the blonde. Quinn luckily caught Rachel's legs and managed to keep her balance, momentarily thinking Sue Sylvester for those endless Cheerios practices. Quinn carried Rachel piggy-back into the museum, with Shelby Corcoran following behind them.

"Oh to be young again, huh Beth?" Shelby was saying, both amused and charmed.

###

Their first full day in New York was typical for people who'd never really been to New York before. It had been the perfect ice-breaker, because by the end of the day, Shelby was talking animatedly with Rachel - the similarities between Shelby and Rachel were astonishing - and Quinn was bouncing Beth on her hip as they made their way into Shelby's apartment building. Baby Beth was touching Quinn's face and giggling, Quinn was smiling so wide she felt her cheeks aching.

She couldn't have asked for anything better. Although she knew later on this may be a situation where a lot of old feelings resurfaced as well as fears, right now it was perfect. Quinn laughed softly as Beth giggled. The little girl laughed a little bit like a chipmunk. Rachel watched as Quinn and her adoptive sister stepped on to the elevator, offered an animated grin and wiggled her fingers in greeting at Beth. Shelby looked on appreciatively and wrapped an arm around Rachel's shoulders. Quinn couldn't believe how comfortable it felt. Though she knew, in the back of her mind, that she'd made the perfect decision in giving Beth up for adoption, part of her felt like maybe she could have done it if she tried.

The ex-Cheerio pushed the thought away and bounced Beth a little on her hip. "Thank you for today, Shelby," she stated, voice full of gratitude. Her hazel eyes were probably glowing with happiness right now, mostly because her lover was standing right in front of her and making Beth giggle maniacally.

Shelby nodded. "I'm glad you girls had a good time. It was really the only day I had planned out, so after this we'll have to figure out what we want to do, and you two can figure out what you'd like to see while you're here." Quinn registered the words and wanted to say that she could've happily spent all her time in Shelby's apartment with Rachel and Beth, but she didn't think that was what Rachel would have ultimately wanted.

The thought had crossed her mind earlier in the day that perhaps it was a good idea to give Rachel and Shelby a day alone together, which in turn would give Beth and Quinn a day alone together. She thought maybe it was too soon to suggest, though, so she settled the idea in the back of her mind and glanced at Rachel, "I'm sure Rachel wants to see a Broadway show," she offered and Rachel nodded excitedly.

"In fact I've purchased tickets for the four of us to see a production later in the week, if that's all right with you," she glanced back hesitantly at Shelby, who only smiled and nodded.

"Like you could keep me away from Broadway."

Rachel bounced and flung her arms around her mother's waist, clung to her. Shelby looked a little shocked, but pleased, and as she hugged Rachel close to her, Shelby kissed the top of her eldest daughter's head. Quinn felt that familiar surge of emotion, and her eyes moved to the baby girl in her arms. She offered Beth a blinding smile, and Beth giggled a little as her fingers exploratively tugged on Quinn's necklace. Quinn's eyes met Shelby's for a moment and understanding passed between them. She definitely wanted to talk to Shelby alone, tell her how grateful she was for the chance, the gift Shelby had given her, and Rachel.

The elevator dinged as they arrived on Shelby's floor, and the foursome piled out, with Rachel happily skipping down the hall and bouncing on her heel in front of the door. Shelby let them all in, glancing back to make sure Quinn still had Beth and the stroller, and when satisfied with what she saw, she headed into the apartment behind Rachel.

"Sweet little Beth, it's time for bed," she crooned at Beth, and gently removed Beth from Quinn's arms. Quinn felt a tugging at her heart as Beth was gently taken from her, but it wasn't one of those soul-wrenching moments. It was a moment of relent, acceptance, and appreciation that Beth had such an attentive and loving mother to raise her. Quinn felt inadequate when she saw how expertly Shelby catered to Beth, and she watched Rachel's mother disappear down the hallway.

Rachel had stopped at the entrance and watched Quinn carefully, her hand slipping into Quinn's as she pulled her into the livingroom, "You were wonderful with her," she murmured simply, and captured Quinn's lips.

"I hope so," Quinn responded in kind with a quiet kiss, lingering just long enough to feel that familiar spark between them. Her heart jump-started and she sighed, relieved for the comfort of Rachel's affection.

Shelby came out a few minutes later, "Would you like to say goodnight to her?" Her eyes were resting on Quinn as Quinn turned around. To be honest, Quinn felt surprised by the gesture.

Quinn nodded slowly. She hadn't been asked last night - in fact she'd made a point not to do so, because Shelby and Rachel had been sharing a moment next to Beth's crib. The mother and two daughters had been sharing such a moment that Quinn hadn't wanted to interrupt. Shelby had been telling Rachel how proud she was to have not one, but two daughters, and to have one who was already so intelligent and mature. She was sure they'd said more to one another, but she'd walked away before it felt invasive. Her legs remembered to move as Shelby's hand found her shoulder and guided her into Beth's room. The room was dimmed, all but a little glow-worm for a night-light.

Shelby didn't persist, instead gently guided Quinn in the room, made motion for Quinn to stay quiet, "I'm going to leave you alone, just don't wake her," she requested softly. Quinn nodded and as Shelby turned to walk away, Quinn reached out and took Shelby's arm carefully.

Their eyes met, and Quinn looked confounded for just a moment before she let herself speak, "Thank you. So much." Her voice was soft, but thick with emotion.

Shelby only squeezed Quinn's hand and nodded in understanding, before she left the room and quietly closed the door behind her.

Quinn felt nervous, for some reason. She'd spent all day with her daughter but it was different now, now it was just her and Beth for a few moments. The little girl was innocently sleeping beneath Quinn's gaze, and Quinn resisted the urge to pick her up and rock her gently in her arms. She didn't want to wake her. The ex-Cheerio merely watched, took in the sight of the girl below her.

"I know you may not understand everything," Quinn spoke softly, barely above a whisper, but she wanted Beth to hear this. "When you get older, you might wonder why I didn't keep you. I did what I thought was best, and sometimes I regret it. I miss you so much, every single day," Quinn breathed the words reverently and watched Beth's even breathing. "I love you more than I've ever loved anything in my life, any person. You're the most beautiful little girl I've ever met, and I'm so proud of you already. I hope one day when I'm a lot older, I'll know you almost as well as Shelby does. She loves you as much as I do, and I know she's the best mom for you. I couldn't have been as good as she is, there are so many reasons why I let you go. Just don't ever believe anyone if they tell you I didn't want you, 'cause it's so not true." Quinn breathed, felt a knot of emotion in her throat, "I wanted you, Beth, more than I've ever wanted anything else. Keeping you would have been selfish, though. Keeping you would have been the worst thing I could've done for you." She dared to reach down a finger and delicately trace Beth's soft little features. "It doesn't matter though. I'll write you all the time, if Shelby lets me, and see you whenever she invites me to, I promise. I love you, baby Beth, I really do. More than I ever thought possible, more every single day." By the time she finished speaking, she had tears stinging at the edges of her eyes and she sniffled. "Don't tell anyone I get all mushy, okay?" She laughed quietly and shook her head at herself before she placed a kiss on her fingertips and pressed her fingers to Beth's soft little cheek, barely a whisper of a touch so as not to wake the infant. With that, Quinn turned and headed out of the bedroom. She heard Shelby and Rachel talking quietly in the livingroom, and she rested silently against the wall until there was a lull in the conversation. She didn't want to break apart anything important.

Quietly she made her way into the livingroom when it seemed to be all clear, and both Shelby and Rachel turned their heads toward the blonde at the same time. Quinn felt a little caught, and laughed nervously, "Sorry," she gave an apologetic smile. "Should I..?" She thumbed the air behind her, suggesting going into another room.

"No, you're fine," Shelby shook her head, gave a small grin. She looked over at Rachel, and like any mother might, lovingly stroked Rachel's hair. "I think I'm going to head to bed for tonight, I'm wiped," she murmured simply to Rachel and the diva nodded in response. The two shared a long embrace before Shelby rose from the couch and headed past Quinn, squeezing the blonde's hand in passing. Quinn smiled gratefully.

Rachel's eyes lingered on her mother before they rested on Quinn again. Her expression took on a softer tone, laced with a little bit of concern. "How'd it go?"

Quinn nodded, sat down next to Rachel. "Good. It's.. I have a lot of emotions about all of it, but mostly happiness. Peace, which I haven't felt for a really long time," her fingers knotted with Rachel's and she tugged her hand into her lap. Quinn let out a quiet sigh and rested her head on Rachel's shoulder. She felt fingers sift through her hair and she let out another breath, relief flooding her.

"Any bad feelings?"

"No, not really. Fear, a little bit. I wonder if Beth will grow up wondering why I did what I did. I wonder if Shelby.. your mom, if she'll let me keep seeing Beth, .. a lot of what ifs," Quinn stated honestly and closed her eyes. Rachel's lips brushed across her temple and she lifted her head. "Bed?"

"Yes please," Rachel smiled slowly, rose from the couch and pulled Quinn with her. The pair made their way quietly down the hall, Rachel whispering a _goodnight little Beth _in passing as they passed the doorway, and Quinn opened the door to the room they were sleeping in.

Quinn waited for Rachel to come in before closing the door behind her. Rachel made her way to their bags and got out pajamas for the both of them, not without tossing Quinn's pajamas directly in her face. Quinn laughed and pulled the fabric from her face, "Is that really necessary? How old are you?"

"Old enough," Rachel teased and stuck her tongue out. Quinn rolled her eyes and slipped off her clothing, not missing the bashful but flirtatious look in Rachel's eyes. It didn't take long for them both to change into their pajamas, and it took even less time to find themselves in bed together, lip-locked.

Quinn kissed Rachel slowly, enjoying the taste of her lips against her own, the warmth of their tongues finding one another. It was loving, quiet, yet still sensual and longing. It lacked no emotion, for they'd both been so overfilled with emotion that they couldn't help but pour it out from their souls into one another, into kissing one another at the end of a long day. Rachel's fingers tangled in Quinn's hair, and she made that little whimpering noise that jump-started Quinn's heartbeat every single time. The blonde smiled into the kiss, pressed her torso closer, and tugged Rachel's hips against her own in an undemanding way.

She forgot about worrying, forgot about everything. Rachel made her feel invincible in moments like these, when Rachel was whimpering into her mouth and pleading for a deeper kiss, pleading for more contact. Quinn felt Rachel's free hand move against her hip and search for bare skin - her fingers danced underneath Quinn's pants and gripped her hips tighter. The diva became more insistent and Quinn happily obliged as her hip rolled downward in the way that teased Rachel the most.

It was safe to say their first full day in New York had been one that exceeded expectations, and Quinn felt a rush of adrenaline as her fingers dipped into that place inside Rachel she loved the most, the place that brought them both crumbling into one another's arms in desperation and the intoxication of youth washed over them like an ocean's swell. Rachel panted quietly into her mouth, and Quinn sought deeper places inside Rachel, sought new ways to make Rachel hers, trying to memorize every second as Rachel's hips crashed in waves against Quinn's evermore insistent strokes.

###

Sleep fell upon them heavily a few hours after they'd begun. Rachel had fallen asleep draped over Quinn's body, and Quinn's mind was miles away, sunk under the sea.

In her dreams, Quinn saw Beth, all grown. She looked starkly like Quinn, with dark eyes. Beth was talking, distantly, and Quinn couldn't hear a thing she was saying. She didn't look happy, and in fact she seemed to look quite angry. Quinn felt her heart break. She reached out for Beth but Beth pulled away, jerked her elbow from Quinn's grasp.

What were they fighting about?

Suddenly Beth was gone, and Quinn was alone. There was no Rachel, no Beth, nobody.

She awoke gasping, and felt Rachel startled against her.

"Quinn? Are you okay?"

Quinn felt a waterfall of emotion, and she collapsed against Rachel's bare shoulders. She didn't know why she was crying and the details of the dream were quickly fading away. She clung to Rachel and buried her face against Rachel's collarbone. She cried, cried in a way she hadn't in a very long time.

"Shhh, it's okay," Rachel soothed lovingly and pressed insistent kisses to Quinn's hands before gently moving the blonde out of her arms, her hands cupping Quinn's face. She captured Quinn's lips again and again, dipped her mouth against Quinn's insistently, pleading with her wordlessly for her tears to stop. Quinn responded in kind, kissed Rachel desperately.

"Please don't ever leave me, please," Quinn begged, pleaded, kissed Rachel deeper and with more desperation than she'd ever felt. "Please, Rach," she begged, felt as if she was drowning in fear, awash some distant shore alone.

Rachel shook her head, kissed Quinn, continued kissing Quinn until Quinn's tears stopped, "Never, never."

"Always and forever, we'll be?" Quinn pleaded against Rachel's warm mouth, kissed her deeply, like a girl in love with someone who might fade away at any second.

Rachel nodded, her fingers gripping Quinn's hands tightly, "I swear to you, I'm not going anywhere," her eyebrows were knotted with concern and she was staring Quinn right in the eyes. She looked like she might have gotten a little emotional because of Quinn's desperate pleas.

"Okay," Quinn breathed, and kissed Rachel again. Rachel's arms were wrapping loosely around Quinn and pulling her into a tight embrace, skin against skin. Quinn let herself be rocked and held, fell asleep once more to the sound of Rachel's familiar humming, their haunting lullaby easing Quinn into a more restful sleep.

_Always and forever, we'll be,  
>you and me,<br>you and me..  
><em> 


	7. Pushing Through

**Title**: In the Broken Night, Set Against the Sky

**Pairing**: Quinn/Rachel

**A/N**: Lyrics from "Lifeboats" by Snow Patrol. Holy cow, only 3 chapters to go. Where does the time go? Never ceases to amaze me. Thank you so much, everyone, for continuing to read and all the kind reviews I'm getting. I really appreciate it. You guys are wonderful and the response I've gotten has made me feel really happy that I can share the things that go on in my brain and people enjoy it. This will be the last chapter of the girls in New York - a bit fast, I know, but I have a plan.

kymikub: I'm sorry for making you cry! If it makes you feel any better, I cried writing it, sooo... bahah. Yeah, thank you again for another wonderful review. There's a bit more struggle in store for Quinn, definitely. I really wanted to give her some closure but anyone who has been through such a loss understands that there's a lot of pain before you can get any closure.  
><span>helloberry<span>: ^_^ Thank you so much! I'm glad you enjoyed it and that I made you speechless.  
><span>Sharene19<span>: I'm just rendering everyone speechless, muahaha. It's all part of the plan. Lol, no, really though, I appreciate your review quite a bit. Rachel's definitely the kindest person, and it just is nice to explore that a little more here, with the situation being as emotional as it is. I considered making Shelby a bit unlikeable but I just think the mother-daughter dynamic is great between all four of the girls. Get your work done! :P Haha, even though I'm glad I distract people from productivity... _

###

Chapter 7: **Pushing Through**

_Flashed up in my wildest dreams, the dark red blood streams,  
>stretching out like vast cracked ice,<br>the veins of you, the veins of me like great forest trees,  
>pushing through and on and in...<em>

###

After those first few days, Quinn thought perhaps it would get easier, but each night she awoke with the same cold sweat coating her skin, the same nightmare haunting her. As much as she wanted and loved being able to see her daughter, being around her seemed to resurface all the feelings she'd dealt with in losing the child in the first place. Correction, not losing her, letting her go. Giving her up. Abandoning her. And here Quinn was, intruding on Shelby's life and she felt like she was back at the hospital, looking through the nursery window and wondering if she really made the right decision. She had no right, not know, to ask herself those questions. What could she do but let Beth go again? It was then that she found herself wondering if Shelby had ever tried to visit Rachel and been through the same experience, the same rehashing of the most devastating loss in her life.

"Rach," Quinn knocked gently on the bathroom door, and the brunette cracked it open just a bit, to make sure it was Quinn, and let her in. Rachel was in her towel, hair wet, and brushing her teeth. The familiar expression of questioning was on her face, and Quinn offered a quiet sigh. She pressed her lips to Rachel's bare shoulderblade, saw the toothpasted smile, "Do you mind if I talk to your mom for a little bit this morning? Real quick? I want you to spend.. as much time with her as you can but I just have .. questions. About Beth." Her words threatened to halt on her tongue, and she searched Rachel's eyes hopefully.

Rachel didn't attempt to speak through her toothbrush and toothpaste, but instead answered by stroking a hand delicately through Quinn's hair and nodding. She gestured toward the door, as if indicating Quinn should as soon as she could. Quinn loved that about Rachel - she was so incredibly perceptive and Quinn knew, without having to communicate her feelings, Rachel was very aware of her current emotional state. Quinn kissed Rachel's hand gratefully before leaving the bathroom and closing the door behind her, the door clicking shut audibly. The blonde made her way down the hall, unsure of where Shelby might be. Beth was still asleep in her crib - Quinn had snuck in to check on the little girl once already, one time too many - so she knew Shelby was probably taking the opportunity to clean or finish some kind of laundry. In the week they'd been in New York, the foursome had settled into the familiarity of a routine, excluding the night they'd gone to a Broadway production.

Quinn found Shelby folding laundry in her bedroom, and she hesitated in the doorway, hazel eyes darting unsurely before she knocked on the doorframe. Her foot felt like lead, and even as she tried to step in, she couldn't, so she waited for acknowledgement.

"Hmm? Oh, Quinn," Shelby glanced over. "Is everything okay? Did Beth wake up?"

Quinn shook her head, "I was just wondering if I could...talk to you for a few minutes about something." She felt small, she felt as if she were only three inches in height and she couldn't really breathe very well. She was still hesitating in the doorway.

"Of course," Shelby offered, and gestured at her bed. "Sit down," she commanded in a motherly way and the look on her face so mirrored the concerned expression Rachel always got that it made Quinn do a bit of a double-take before she sat. "What is it?" Shelby continued folding clothing.

"I hope you don't mind me asking," Quinn folded her hands in her lap, glanced over her shoulder at Shelby before dipping her head again and fidgeting with her dress. "Did you.. ever try to visit Rachel?"

Shelby looked a bit shocked at the question. Her expression was unreadable for a brief second and slowly she set down the shirt she'd been folding. "Why are you asking?" Her initial reaction seemed to be a little defensive, and Quinn flushed red with embarassment.

"If you did.. I just -" Quinn felt her chest tighten, "seeing Beth. Leaving her the first time was so hard, letting her go, even though I did the right thing. You're such a good mother for her and .. I just.. it's hard," her emotions started to swell to the surface and she tried to bury them for the moment. She couldn't look Shelby in the eye right now. "And I just wondered if you'd ever tried to see Rachel, if it was too hard for you to keep doing it."

Shelby hadn't spoken, and Quinn didn't really know if she'd moved until she felt the weight shift on the mattress beside her and felt Shelby's shoulder brush her own. Rachel's mother reached over and delicately took Quinn's hand, stared at it thoughtfully, "I never could. I tried. I'd contact Hiram and Leroy, ask them if they'd let me come see her, but I'd always .. run away last minute. I'd get to the airport and then turn around and go home," the smile Shelby wore was tearful as her free hand moved to stroke some stray blonde hair behind Quinn's ear, much like any mom would if having a heart-to-heart with their daughter. "You're braver than me that way. I can't imagine how hard it is for you, and knowing the family you came from, to give up everything."

Quinn's eyes filled with tears, and she wiped a few stray ones away with the back of her hand. She sniffled, hoping to keep some of the tears at bay, "I just keep having this nightmare where Beth is all grown up and she's angry with me. I don't want her to be angry with me. I feel like I shouldn't even be here, like I'm intruding on this life you're building, because she's yours now - "

"Sweetie," Shelby crooned softly, that sweet and sultry voice so like Rachel's that it was chilling sometimes, "she's mine but she'll always be yours, too. She was a part of you and always will be, no matter whose name is on the paper locked away in some cabinet."

"I'm still intruding," Quinn shook her head, felt Shelby gently squeezing her hand in response. "I knew it would be hard, I mean I'm not dense, I just - I look at her and I fall in love every single day with that little girl and I never thought that would hurt, but it does."

"Listen to me," Shelby delicately but sternly pulled Quinn's gaze forcibly to meet her own, "as Rachel's mother, as Beth's mother, I'm telling you to listen to me. You are a part of Beth's life, and I'd never deprive you of that," for the first time since they'd arrived, Quinn saw tears in Shelby's eyes. "I made the mistake of letting Rachel go for too long and I regretted it every second. I live with the pain of knowing she never knew me, that I missed everything, even if I could have spent one Hannukah with her, or anything. I didn't get that chance because I was terrified. Learn from my mistakes."

Quinn felt tears in her eyes still and she nodded quietly. Shelby's hand trailed lightly over her hair once more before she let go and stood.

"Now come on, I have to finish laundry before the little monster wakes up," she offered Quinn a comforting smile.

The blonde returned it the best she could. She was still processing everything as she made her way out of the bedroom and headed back down the hall, dragging her hand quietly along the surface of it as if to keep herself tethered. There was so much she was feeling, all the doubts and fears. That dream had been plaguing her all week and it wasn't getting any easier. Quinn wondered if she was capable of staying for the entire week ahead, and at one point questioned if she'd even have the guts to ask Rachel if they could leave a little early. She couldn't do that to Rachel, though. This time was for her, too, and Rachel would do the same for her if the tables were turned. Hazel eyes turned and moved along Beth's door. She touched the surface; she wanted to go in so badly but decided against it. If she was going to make it through this week she would have to spend a little less time mooning over her daughter. That beautiful little girl was a part of her, this much was true, but she didn't belong to Quinn anymore. She felt a sting and closed her eyes, gathered a breath.

"Hey," Rachel's voice greeted her, and Quinn felt that familiar hand slip into her own.

"Hey back," Quinn opened her eyes and was grateful for the sight of Rachel's deep brown eyes.

Rachel searched her expression, and without even asking, gently pulled Quinn into the guest room and closed the door. The brunette sat Quinn down, and took her place beside her. "How'd it go?"

"Good. She basically told me to learn from her mistakes," Quinn found those eyes staring into her heart, her very source of feeling, and she pulled Rachel's hand gently against her torso, closed her eyes. "It's just getting so hard, Rachel. Seeing her. It's bringing back all those feelings, everything I worried about when I let her go in the first place. It's making me doubt my decision and then feel guilty for it because I'm here just .. intruding on Shelby's life, the life she's building for Beth, the relationship she's trying to mend with you. I feel like I don't belong here." Her eyes slipped shut as if to contain the swell of emotion flooding her.

Rachel cupped either side of Quinn's face and pressed her soft lips to her cheeks, and then to her forehead. "You belong here," was all she said before she captured Quinn's lips with her own. The softness of her kiss was almost unbearable, and caused that spark in Quinn to light. It amazed her what Rachel could do to her with a simple kiss. It was sweet and desperate all at once - Rachel desperate to prove to Quinn she belonged, Quinn desperate to feel that human connection with the one person she'd grown to need and love. "Okay?" Rachel questioned against Quinn's bottom lip, ghosting over Quinn and causing her to shiver.

Quinn nodded, grasped the hands placed on either side of her face. "How do you do that?"

"What?" Rachel pulled away, regarding Quinn with a soft curiosity.

"Comfort me and make me ache all at once?" The sparkle in her hazel eyes must have given away the fact the ache she spoke of wasn't exactly meant to be something you should feel during the daylight.

Rachel blushed only a little, but her hand slid slowly up Quinn's bare thigh, fingers eliciting a flood of heat in Quinn's flesh and soul. "I don't know. Just good I suppose," the smile on her face was full of promises to be fulfilled later, and her fingers teased at the meeting of Quinn's torso and thigh.

Quinn swallowed thickly and closed her eyes, glad for the smile that Rachel had brought back. "Come on, before I get us kicked out of your mother's," she breathed, capturing Rachel's lips in a final kiss before standing and taking Rachel's hand, tugging the brunette playfully out of the room and in a more public area - where there wasn't a chance of Rachel continuing that delicious teasing she did when Quinn couldn't be soothed any other way.

It was funny how well Rachel knew Quinn, knew just how to bring her up from her lowest lows, pull her out of the deepest and most difficult thoughts. She could bring Quinn from depressed to turned on to simply enamored. Rachel was slight-of-hand, a magic trick, an illusion, the secret to all things. A day didn't go by without Quinn thanking her lucky stars (as Rachel would prefer) for the fact that all that time ago she'd dared let herself break down in the diva's arms, when they were still enemies.

Life was never that simple, easy thing that everybody wished it would be, but Quinn had come to the conclusion if you had someone at your side, someone who truly knew you, you would pull through it. If you believed in someone, they'd make it through. And Rachel had always, always believed in her.

###

It was the day that Shelby and Rachel had gone out shopping together that brough Quinn crumbling to the ground, dust to ashes. It started out wonderfully. Beth was well-tempered and not overly fussy. Quinn had picked the little girl up out of the crib after her late-afternoon-nap and woken her gently, warmed a bottle and sat down with her on the couch to feed her. The ex-Cheerio thought it must have been a sight, barely a teenager but still holding the child she'd had nearly 10 months ago. She rocked Beth a little, coaxed the girl to take the rubber nipple and eat. She looked down at Beth and saw the child in her arms as she never had before - as hers.

That broke her. Quinn had felt all at once the shattering of the pieces of her heart. Beth wasn't hers, couldn't be, but she felt so much like hers in that moment that it completely tore down all the tenuous repairs she'd made. Tears flooded her eyes and she shook her head, smiled at Beth, "Sorry, baby Beth," she spoke softly. "I guess I'm not as okay as I thought I could be."

Beth only continued to suckle at the bottle and regard Quinn with curiosity.

"I'm going to miss everything," she murmured tearfully, "your first steps, first words. The worst part is that I don't deserve to see those things. Shelby does."

Those dark, Puck-like eyes searched the woman above her, and a wandering hand reached up and grasped at the air near Quinn's face. Quinn laughed tearfully.

"I hope you'll forgive me one day. I'll write you. I don't know if I can keep seeing you, my sweet girl. I want to, but it hurts so badly, and I don't want to confuse you," Quinn breathed the confession. "Just don't tell your sissy or your mom, okay? I don't want them to think I don't want to see you. I just can't as often as I want." Quinn all but sobbed, but caught it just as it came out of her mouth and breathed it out shakily. "We'll be okay though. I'll write you every day, maybe see you once a year. Then when you get old enough, you can tell your mom whether or not you want to see me more than that."

As Beth finished all 6 ounces of formula, Quinn had slowly regained her composure. It was enormously difficult, looking at the little girl in her arms and realizing that she wouldn't be a large part of Beth's life. No matter how much Shelby tried to help her, tried to tell her she'd be able to see Beth and be in her life, there was still the looming knowledge that her rights as Beth's mother had been given up the moment she had been born. Quinn's long fingers grazed over Beth's hair, smoothed the silky blonde hair, and kissed her forehead.

"I'll love you forever," she spoke sweetly to the infant and took the empty bottle. After that, it was a matter of pretending this child was not her own. She rubbed Beth's back, soothed out that little baby burp, and set about cleaning up the mess around the livingroom, with Beth sitting up in the middle of the floor surrounded by toys. Quinn spent the rest of the afternoon tending to Beth and picking up Shelby's apartment. When evening came and the door unlocked, Quinn felt a quiet rush of relief. She needed Rachel, needed Rachel's arms, her hands, her comfort. Quinn gently picked up Beth to greet the pair at the door.

Rachel was laughing animatedly just behind her mother, the shorter diva's hand wrapped around her mom's arm. Shelby was grinning widely and her face brightened upon seeing Beth.

"Hi, baby!" Shelby crooned as she picked Beth gently out of Quinn's arms and bounced her a little. Beth giggled, her entire demeanor lightening at the sight of Shelby's smile. Quinn felt her heart ache and she fought off the urge to cry. That was something she'd never get to see - Beth's recognition, her bright smile when she saw her mother. Quinn, for the first time, felt as if she'd lost. Her legs were a little shaky and weak but she maintained a soft smile.

"You guys have a good time?"

"It was amazing, you wouldn't believe who we saw from afar," Rachel beamed and bounced into Quinn's arms, looped an arm around Quinn's waist. "Conan O' Brien. He's so tall! He literally looks like nine feet tall!"

Quinn laughed, smirked devilishly, "It probably only looks that way because you're approximately the size of a 10 year old," she teased and bumped her hip against Rachel's playfully.

Rachel gasped and narrowed her gaze. She was biting back a smile and she poked Quinn in the ribs, "So not nice!"

"Leprechaun?"

"No!"

"Dwarf?"

"Quinn Fabray!"

"Hobbit?"

"Did you really just - "

"Pygmy?"

"I swear if we weren't - "

"Gold star!" Quinn exclaimed laughingly, felt the weight in her heart ligthen with each play back and forth. She lifted Rachel up in her arms and spun her around as Shelby walked away, shaking her head amusedly. Quinn leaned up and kissed Rachel playfully, the brunette laughing and burying her face against Quinn's neck.

"You're insufferable," Rachel playfully shoved Quinn back a bit as she was set back down, but her tone dripped with affection.

"Yeah but you like it," Quinn drew out the _liiiike _playfully as she wrinkled her nose, leaving Rachel to mirror the action.

"How'd it go?"

Quinn narrowed her gaze a bit and her expression darkened only slightly; the blonde found herself chewing on her bottom lip with a hint of anxiousness, "It went good, Beth was a dream," she spoke honestly, but decided against divulging all the details. "I just...realized some things and it was.. emotional." She knew Rachel would inquire later, she always did, but she was grateful when Rachel accepted the explanation for now and nodded. Those soft fingers traced Quinn's jaw and their lips connected ever so briefly before Quinn gestured to the livingroom, where Shelby was playing with Beth and waiting for the couple to come back in.

"I still just could _not _believe how tall he looks, even from afar. He was on the other side of the street and he quite literally towers over people who are even average height," Rachel continued on her earlier tangent as she sat on the loveseat, Quinn sitting beside her.

"Well just think, when you're on Broadway you'll be on his talk show," Quinn's smile creeped over her lips as she stretched out on the loveseat, her legs draped over Rachel's lap. Quinn glanced over at Shelby and Beth, who were quite occupied with one another. She ignored the pang she felt and turned her gaze back to Rachel. "At least once. I mean, hopefully, because I really want to meet him sometime and I've already hired myself as your manager."

Rachel laughed quietly and shook her head, "I guess all that practice as head Cheerio would make you an appropriate choice for manager. You'd be out for blood."

"Yes, but only in your honor," Quinn teased softly, leaned forward and poked Rachel playfully in the ribs once more.

Rachel beamed at her, reached forward and sifted a hand through Quinn's hair. The look they shared expressed silent affection, expressed the fact that despite having equally important days apart, they'd missed one another. And Quinn remembered the spark from that morning's kiss, the unspoken promise for more to come, and she thought just maybe that ache in her heart felt a little less painful. Rachel was slight-of-hand, master of tricks, and she always managed to transform Quinn from one person to another at the snap of a finger.

###

_How's it going so far over there, Q? How's Frodo and little B? - S_

_Rachel's doing well. She's in the shower right now. Beth's already asleep, Shelby, too. - Q_

_How r u? - S_

_Good. It's hard but enlightening I suppose. - Q_

_How so? - S_

_Just thinking .. - Q_

Quinn didn't know how to explain to Santana what she was thinking and feeling. There really weren't adequate words to describe what it felt like to give up your child not once, but twice.

_Abt what? Corrective surgery? - S_

_Hah hah. No. Thinking about Beth. - Q_

_Wanna tlk abt it? - S_

_Maybe when we get home. We come home Friday. - Q_

_Ok. I'm here if u need me b4 then. Britt says she misses u and the Dox. - S_

_Dox? - Q_

_Daschund. - S_

_She's really not that short. - Q_

_I kno, its just fun mking fun of her. U kno I think she's alright - S_

_I'll tell her you said that. :P - Q_

_Don't u dare. - S_

Quinn laughed and closed her phone, sighed a bit quietly and closed her eyes. She lay back on the bed, listened to the sound of the water running in the other room. A smile crossed her lips as she heard Rachel singing. Rachel didn't seem to be able to ever stop singing, and Quinn didn't mind. Back when things had been bad, she remembered never really allowing herself to listen to Rachel sing, at least not _really _sing, the way she did when she put her whole heart and soul into it. She remembered all too well the impact Rachel's song "Get It Right" had on her - it'd taken everything in Quinn not to absolutely fall apart.

_"You don't belong here, Rachel, and you can't blame me for sending you on your way." Quinn had meant those words with all her heart and soul, had wanted Rachel to hear the words behind them. The way Rachel had broken down immediately upon leaving that stage had made Quinn's heart shatter._

_It had never been about anything but keeping Rachel at a distance, keeping Rachel on track to achieve her dreams. In some sick, twisted way, Quinn had used torture to help the brunette toward her goals, to light a fire underneath her. She knew how messed up it was, knew that it was some kind of sick game she played with Rachel and with her own emotions. It had been cat and mouse for so long, Quinn didn't know how to stop. She had mixed hatred with passion and there felt like there was no deciphering either of those things any more._

_Rachel had avoided Quinn like the plague after that, and what stripped Quinn bare of all refute was when Rachel had found Quinn alone in the choir room and tore her to shreds. The little diva had reached her breaking point and she'd let Quinn know._

_"You are the most self-righteous, deluded person I have ever met, Quinn!" Rachel had exploded into the room and practically shoved Quinn into a wall. The blonde didn't even have time to hit the HBIC switch as Rachel folded her arms over her chest. Rachel's eyes were red with the strain of tears, her fists balled at her sides, "How dare you assume that you can just make decisions for me and 'send me on my way' because this isn't even about that! This isn't about me at all! This is about you living some perfect teenage fantasy!" _

_Quinn had no words, no way to respond to the ball of fury in front of her. She gaped quietly, her brow furrowed, "How dare you - "_

_"No! I am tired of this, Quinn! What is it? What is it that drives you so adamantly to bring me into heartache? You go around doing as you please and expect everyone to fall into whatever demented plans you have for your life. I'm not a pawn, Quinn, you can't just assume that I'll go where you think I should. I am destined for Broadway but you have not a hand in that destiny."_

_"You really don't get it," Quinn laughed sickly and glanced away, gritted her teeth, "You're possibly the most naive... you're so dense, Rachel! If you stay with him, if you keep playing these stupid high school games you're going to get it all wrong! You'll end up in the middle of Lima, Ohio with three babies and one on the way thinking about how you WISH you'd left here! You'll attach to him and lose all your dreams. I don't care what you think I'm doing any of this for, because I don't need to explain a thing to you." Her hand gripped Rachel's shoulder and pushed the girl away from her. She began to storm off when she felt Rachel's hand grip her arm and spin her around in place._

_"You do not get to walk away from this, Fabray. You may think I should believe a word you're saying but what have you ever done to show me you cared about my dreams? You've stepped on me every inch of the way, you've tripped me every time I've passed by you or crossed paths with you."_

_"Because every hero needs a villain, Rachel," Quinn's voice dropped a little, her brow furrowed as she wrenched her arm from Rachel's hand, "Otherwise they'd have no reason to exist. Don't touch me again," she murmured, shot Rachel a dark look, and stalked out of the room before the diva could say otherwise._

Quinn felt the memory sting her raw. She'd been so convinced that the only way she could benefit Rachel was by being her enemy, by being negative reinforcement, and now her life was the complete opposite of what she'd ever expected it to be. How lucky had she gotten, to be here now? The shower in the other room fell silent and Rachel appeared a few moments later, in a tank and t-shirt, and Quinn sat up to take in the sight of the girl she loved.

Her eyes filled with devotion, appreciation, with everything in her heart that she felt for Rachel. She felt such a surge of affection that she felt no adequate way to express it. Quinn stood and crossed the distance between them. Rachel looked both confused and curious at Quinn's silent reaction to her coming into the room, but before she could say anything, Quinn tilted Rachel's head up just slightly and kissed Rachel as reverently as she had that very first night she'd come into Rachel's room and kissed her. It was explorative, soft, and left Rachel's chest heaving gently against Quinn's. She didn't break way, even as her lungs burned, even as she felt her head swim with the power of her feelings. Quinn deepened the kiss, fingers slipping to Rachel's waist and tugging her close against her body. It was gentle and without demands, like saying a prayer in the most spiritual moment of your life. It started a spark, a small flame, and grew so slowly that by the time Quinn was backing Rachel into the mattress, the brunette was whimpering and her fingers were gently holding on to Quinn's shoulders, raking over fabric quietly.

She needed this, needed to remind Rachel (and herself) of the powerful connection between them, even now when all was settled and they were both in a calming place in their relationship. Quinn needed a fire, needed to be consumed by passion instead of everything else she'd been feeling while they were there. Quinn wanted to love Rachel, worship her, wanted to explore her as if it was the first time and the last. The blonde lifted Rachel up, an arm scooped around Rachel's waist and hand rested on her lower back - she guided Rachel back onto the mattress and righted the brunette beneath her. She took her time joining Rachel on the mattress, slowly stripped off her night-shirt and happily taking in the way Rachel gasped and her eyes darkened at the sight of Quinn's bare breasts and pale skin. Rachel reached out, as if to pull Quinn against her, but Quinn caught her hands and kissed each one slowly. It was a gesture that suggested tonight, Quinn was going to be calling the shots, was going to be the one to take things slow until Rachel couldn't take it anymore. Tonight would be special. It was what Quinn needed, and what Rachel wanted.

Quinn slowly leaned in, caught Rachel's lips in for a languid kiss, and kept her boyshorts on as she slowly straddled Rachel's body. Her hand slipped at an achingly slow pace beneath the edge of Rachel's shirt, and the brunette gasped against Quinn's mouth as gentle fingers grazed an already hardening nipple. Quinn smirked against Rachel's lips, let out a throaty chuckle, "Eager," she all but murmured against Rachel's lips. She would take this slower than Rachel could stand. Again, she brushed a finger just barely over Rachel's nipple. The brunette attempted to grasp Quinn's hand and demand a more forceful touch, but Quinn _tsk tsked _and stopped her. Lacing her fingers with Rachel's, she pinned her hand down and leaned in for a barely-there kiss, ghosting her lips over the diva's. Quinn made barely a move, only took in the feel of Rachel's breath mingling with her own. Rachel didn't speak, but a small whine came from her throat as her body craved more contact. Quinn didn't relent just yet - she wanted to bring Rachel to an unbearable peak, wanted to have to stifle Rachel's moans with kisses, and in order to bring the brunette to that point, she'd have to tease her into it. Quinn dipped her lips against Rachel's, pulled away slowly, smiled as Rachel leaned her head up carefully to reconnect, but Quinn refused with a husky reprimand. "Uh uh."

Rachel's head fell back helplessly, her eyes pleading with Quinn's hazel ones. She complied to her lover's request, though, and waited. Quinn leaned down, dipped her lips against Rachel's, and drew her tongue along Rachel's bottom lip, the brunette arching and whimpering, her free hand clutching momentarily at Quinn's shoulder and dragging downward. That explorative hand dipped below the curve of Quinn's back and squeezed, causing Quinn to nearly lose her composure. Rachel's hands set her on fire. The blonde kept control though, and captured Rachel in a slow kiss that built into gasps and quiet pleas. Quinn distracted her with the sensuality of it as her fingers danced in slow circles around Rachel's right nipple, delighting in the puckering skin and pinching delicately. When Rachel gasped against her lips, into her mouth, that was the best. Quinn's hand moved to the left and repeated the same agonizingly slow pace. Rachel breathed hotly against Quinn's mouth and rolled her hips upward, but her need for contact wouldn't be satisfied just yet. Quinn sat up and guided Rachel out of the t-shirt she'd put on, drinking in the sight of her before she dipped down and let her tongue trail slowly from Rachel's collarbone to her throat. Quinn's bare skin brushed against Rachel's newly bared flesh and they both inhaled quietly. Quinn bit down just enough to cause Rachel to moan quietly and laugh at her own sexual frustration.

"Please," Rachel begged softly, but Quinn ignored the request. Her mouth placed lingering and lazy kisses along the side of Rachel's breast, taking in the soft flesh once in a while and sucking, nipping at it. Quinn finally rolled her hips down ever so carefully, just enough to make Rachel groan and close her eyes. The blonde repeated the action once more, and as she did so, she sat up. Rachel seemed lost in the slow build-up, so Quinn took the opportunity to turn the brunette on even more. She guided Rachel's hands at a deliciously slow pace up her side, along the side of her ribs, stopping Rachel's hands just below her breasts. Rachel's eyes slipped open and Quinn was bowled over at the sight of Rachel's incredibly dark eyes, the way Rachel was hungrily biting her bottom lip to keep from moaning. Quinn arched her back a little, guided Rachel's hands over her hips ever so slowly. Rachel's touch - even when guided and intended by Quinn - set her skin on fire. She felt goosebumps everywhere. Quinn rocked her hips slowly against Rachel's, head dipping back as she felt Rachel's fingers move over each rib. She slowly - to her own torture - guided Rachel's hands to her thighs again and made her leave them there as she rolled her hips downward. She needed to keep control, take it slow. Rachel was panting quietly beneath her and looking as if she was already about to burst. Again, she rocked, a little more insistent, and heard a small noise of arousal spill from her own lips. Quinn memorized the sensation of heat building up between them, groaned softly as she resumed trailing Rachel's hands up over her ribs. She caught Rachel's gaze amidst the flame as she slowly guided Rachel's hands to the soft flesh of her breasts. Quinn circled, rolled her hips slightly and her head fell back slightly in passion as she felt Rachel kneading the flesh beneath her palms, Quinn's hands pinning them there. As she trailed her hands down Rachel's arms and rocked her hips in a circular fashion once more, Quinn gasped as she felt Rachel pinch and roll one of her very sensitive nipples in her fingers. Quinn all but growled as she rocked again, harder. The motion was slow and insistent and hungry. The blonde removed Rachel's hands at the point she thought she might lose control, and once again latched them onto her thighs.

Quinn leaned down, captured Rachel's nipple between her teeth before sucking languidly. She rolled the tip of it just beneath her tongue, flicked across the puckered surface, before hungrily repeating the action against the left. Rachel's fingers gripped Quinn's thighs hard enough to bruise. Quinn's hips hadn't stopped rocking the whole time, and it was becoming almost too much for the both of them. Quinn ceased her ministrations and began kissing slowly down Rachel's stomach. Her favorite place to kiss was just near Rachel's hips. Her mouth hungrily sucked on the flesh there, marked her, and she felt Rachel's skin erupt in goosebumps as her tongue dipped against the place she'd so easily and so hungrily marked. Quinn's fingers slid underneath Rachel, grasped tightly and pulled Rachel's hips upward. Her tongue snaked out before finding another place to mark. Rachel gasped and moaned simultaneously, arched upward as Quinn sucked and bit at the sensitive flesh that stood as a precursor for the place she was burning the deepest. Quinn made a slow path downward, until she was removing the rest of Rachel's clothing. Her finger danced along Rachel's thigh before she moved Rachel's hands to her breasts again. She wouldn't satisfy Rachel's carnal desire just yet. She needed this to be monumental, needed this to be blinding. Quinn groaned as she resumed straddling Rachel's hips and rolled against Rachel's.

"Jesus," Rachel gasped as her bared heat was connected with Quinn's barely-clothed hips. Quinn rocked again, more insistently, mouth agape slightly as Quinn allowed a quiet, strangled moan to escape her own throat.

"Fuck, Rach," Quinn breathed. "God," she panted as she rolled her hips again. "Here," she needed Rachel's mouth, needed contact. She maintained control as she helped Rachel sit up and leaned on her knees, giving Rachel access to the bare skin of her stomach and the skin peeking at her hips from beneath the boyshorts. "Don't get greedy," she instructed softly as she felt Rachel's mouth connect with her stomach. She gasped and felt Rachel's insistent but submissive kisses along her stomach and hips. Quinn rocked her hips carefully against each kiss, and felt Rachel's hands moving up her thighs. "Fuck.. mm, no. Not yet." The instruction was breathed out and Quinn guided Rachel backwards. Rachel looked aroused and disappointed but as they kissed, Quinn climbed off the bed just long enough to strip herself of the remaining clothing on her frame. Rachel looked even hungrier, if possible, and Quinn climbed on top of her once more. Quinn connected their lips in a passionate kiss as her hips rolled downward, now bare flesh against bare flesh. The sounds Rachel made were too perfect not to enjoy, and Quinn broke away just enough to listen to the delicious sound Rachel made as Quinn rolled her hip-bone down into heat and desire.

"Oh god," Rachel's head dipped back at that, and her hips jerked upward momentarily. Quinn removed herself, hating the lack of warmth as her skin lost contact with Rachel's, but she slowly spread Rachel's most sacred place and before Rachel could register what Quinn was planning, the blonde had Rachel in her mouth, sucking hungrily at the eager nub awaiting her. Her tongue stroked up and down the hidden muscle beneath soaked skin, sought the perfect moment for Rachel. She felt Rachel's hips arch sharply into her mouth and she moaned softly at the contact. She could hear Rachel gasping her name, feel Rachel's hips clenching around her thighs. Her tongue continued its languid stroke, and she was alternating it with sucking hungrily. She breathed against Rachel's heat as she did these things, adding to the intense sensations washing over her lover. Each moan of appreciation for Rachel's taste was met with another rolling of Rachel's hips. Soon, Quinn's pace quickened and she slipped a finger, then two, into Rachel's eager wetness. She felt the pulsing of Rachel's insides already and continued sucking hungrily. Her fingers pressed in, further, and further, until she met that place that made Rachel ache the most. Her mouth broke away as she focused all her attention on that spot, fingers triggering it again and again, until Rachel was raking her nails hard enough to leave welts on Quinn's shoulderblades.

"Now," was all Quinn had to say, hotly, just before taking Rachel's clit between her lips and sucking. Rachel came gloriously, muffled by a pillow she'd had to cover her face with, and Quinn tasted Rachel's unique essence, sucked. "Not done yet," Quinn gasped as she slowly made her way back up Rachel's body, just enough, and guided Rachel's hand to the place where she now ached beyond description. Rachel groaned and her head dipped backward as Quinn rocked into Rachel's fingers. Quinn felt Rachel fill her, felt Rachel's expert touch, and the two shared an intense, needy gaze as Quinn panted heavily above Rachel, holding on to the brunette's hips as she rocked downward, harder and harder, against Rachel's touch. "Fuck," Quinn gasped, her eyes slamming shut, "Fuck Rach, right there," her words all tumbled together as she increased speed, Rachel more insistent and panting in arousal at seeing Quinn so close to her own edge. Purposefully, Rachel shoved a third finger inside and curled just inside Quinn, that place that made Quinn desperate. The blonde rocked, harder and faster, losing her breath, lungs burning. "Just - yes," Quinn pleaded and her head dropped back. Her hands flew behind her, used the blanket as leverage as she rocked downward, once, twice, and a third time. She felt her insides clenching, coming alive, begging, and finally Rachel hit that spot and she cried out as quietly as possible. Tears sprung to her eyes and she continued rocking even after she came. "More," she leaned down, captured Rachel's lips, and kept going. "Don't stop, not even if I beg you." Her arm bent between them, sought out Rachel's heat, and they rocked together. Their hips rolled, begged, crashed like waves against one another. They continued like this for what seemed like ages, until their muscles ached and begged for release.

"Quinn -" Rachel moaned deeply into Quinn's mouth.

"I know -"

"Qu- _god,_ you feel so good I'm - "

"Stay with me, Rach," Quinn managed to gasp out. She was so close, so unbearably close, and as her hips crashed again and again, she felt her muscles tense. Simultaneously, she increased the pressure inside Rachel, found that little bundle of nerves hidden, and roughly insisted on that spot until Rachel was arching into her, biting down hard to keep the possibly earth-shattering moan inside, fingers stilling inside Quinn. The blonde dipped her mouth against Rachel's a few seconds later, moaning loudly into Rachel's mouth as she felt Rachel's fingers flicker unbelievably inside her.

Quinn's head was spinning, and she thought maybe Rachel's was too, because she found the pair of them laughing, both with blown expressions of passion before they kissed. She felt radioactive, felt perfect, felt completely alive, and as she tiredly removed herself from atop Rachel, she covered them both and got lost in Rachel's passionate afterglow kisses.

The dream didn't haunt Quinn that night, and for that she was grateful. The world could wait until tomorrow.


	8. When I Wake

**Title**: In the Broken Night, Set Against the Sky

**Pairing**: Quinn/Rachel

**A/N**: Lyrics from "Lifeboats" by Snow Patrol. My sincerest apologies for taking more than a few days to update this particular story. My ideas kept rolling with the other I'm currently working on (Somewhere a Clock is Ticking) so I had to keep working on that while I had the inspiration for specific plot points. Here we are, though! Chapter 8 of 10, nearing a close. Thank you for everyone's tremendous support and I hope you're all enjoying the story. ^_^

vampiretiger: Again, I employ my powers of speechlessness upon you! Muahahahah and such. Really though, thank you again for the review, I appreciate it.  
><span>HappyLaura<span>: Ahhh my favorite! -all kinds of hugs and stuff- I know what you mean about people not really exploring this part of Quinn's life, but as someone who wants to know the full story, I think the only way to figure out who Quinn is, is to bring her through the process of accepting the loss of Beth as her daughter (legally anyway) and accepting who she is beyond all the heartache. Rachel/Quinn kind of developed on their own through the process of writing this, it's weird to say but they really have grown by themselves, I'm just the hands that bring it to life, I guess. I can't imagine Shelby as the villain! I can only imagine she had just as difficult of a time losing Rachel as Quinn has had in terms of losing Beth.  
><span>Sharene19<span>: Yes, yes, of course the road always gets easier. I have to keep a spark of hope alive, always. I'm glad you're still getting your work done, hopefully you've prepared for this! LOL oh reading the smut could be awkward at work, I'm glad you didn't do that.  
><span>depaul7<span>: Next time I'll warn you if there's going to be excessive heartbreak! -mends your heart- I'm so glad you think it's a brilliant story, I'm flattered. Thank you kindly. :D 

###

Chapter 8: **When I Wake**

_Gliding like a satellite in the broken night,  
>and when I wake, you're there, I'm saved;<br>your love is life piled tight and high set against the sky,  
>that seems to balance on its own...<em>

###

Quinn sipped at the tea in her hands, blearily staring out the kitchen window. It was far too early to be awake - but apparently most of New York didn't agree with her. Below, stories below, taxi cabs honked, distant voices shouted, and the tiny replicas of actual people (as Quinn liked to imagine, sometimes she'd close one eye and squish her fingers together to pretend she was a giant) were busily strolling down the sidewalks, rushing to and from work. As far as Quinn knew, she was the only person awake. It was Friday morning, the last morning they'd be spending there. Her quiet footsteps carried her to Beth's door. She'd stood in front of that door so many times in the last two weeks that she was sure there would be ruts in the carpet when she left. Idly, she sipped her tea. It felt like one of the most painful things she could do - just stand outside the door, too afraid to go in, too afraid to walk away. She supposed it was a kind of metaphor for her life. Afraid of both past and future. The only thing she was certain of was Rachel. Rachel had become her anchor, had become her high-school sweetheart.

Everyone else was peacefully sleeping, and here Quinn was, teetering on the edge of her final day with Beth. A swirl of emotions was consistently rolling around in her mind. Relief, anxiousness, sadness, regret. Mostly melancholy feelings. Another sip of tea, and another, before she finally forced herself to move back into the kitchen and away from Beth's room. The last day or so, when she'd woken up and found Rachel still asleep, she'd spent a lot of time at the kitchen window, staring down at New York City. Inevitably their future home - that is, as long as she and Rachel remained together after high school. They still had senior year, though, and Quinn fully planned on letting the relationship grow and blossom. Thinking about living in this city was something Quinn looked forward to. She could imagine the life she and Rachel might have; she didn't really allow herself to daydream about it that much - it did no good to pin her hopes on much, life had taught her to be a little bit of a cynic - but she was sure Rachel already had the decor and paint scheme plotted out for their entire future apartment, down to the thread count of the pillows and sheets. Quinn liked that about Rachel - she was so certain about everything.

Quinn felt certain of almost nothing, nothing except for Rachel. She was the balancing force, the thing that kept her from toppling into complete pessimism. Her tea began to get cold, and she pulled a face before gulping down the last remnants of tea and setting the mug in the sink. Quietly, she padded through to the guest room, edging open the door slightly. Early morning sunlight was mostly blocked out by the blinds, but the few strips of light that shone in warmed the place in which Rachel lay. A smirk crossed her lips - she remembered back during Regionals, when Rachel had fallen asleep in those horrendously pink pajamas. Rachel always looked adorable when she slept. Now the blonde felt more than lucky enough to wake up to that sight consistently. Quinn slipped into bed beside the diva, and felt the familiar insistence of Rachel rolling over just to grab Quinn's hand, tug it over her hip to twine with her own hand. They settled into one another naturally, and it felt perfect.

Quinn dropped off to sleep shortly following, only to be woken by the sound of Beth crying. Her instincts told her to go see what was the matter, but she sank back into the mattress as she heard Shelby's bedroom door open, and the woman's footsteps trailing toward the source of the noise. Quinn berated herself, somehow feeling grateful it was the last day. It was confusing here, being around Beth.

Rachel stirred in her slip, blinked sleepily, both at the sound of Beth's crying and the feel of Quinn's hand reconnecting with her own. The brunette turned her gaze over her shoulder and offered a tired smile, voice rasping quietly, "Hey."

"Hey back," Quinn offered a matching smile and pressed her lips to Rachel's forehead. "You're awake finally," she teased quietly. "And to think you used to be the morning person."

"It is summer-time," Rachel laughed, that laugh even warmer than usual due to that quiet rasp of awakening. Quinn felt Rachel's fingers twine with her own as the diva settled back against her. Pressing her lips to Rachel's shoulder, she closed her eyes.

"Are you glad we're going home?"

"Kind of. It's been wonderful here, but I miss my dads," Rachel settled as tightly as she could, tugging Quinn's hand all the way around her waist.

Quinn nodded simply, her hazel eyes trailing thoughtfully over Rachel's arms. She leaned up on her elbow, soothing her emotions with the sight of Rachel. Her beauty was stunning, perfect, something Quinn would forever treasure.

"Are you glad?"

"That we're going home?"

"And that we came?"

"I am, for both. It's been rewarding but unbelievably difficult and confusing," Quinn admitted quietly between them, resting her forehead on the back of Rachel's shoulder and just thoughtfully watching the surface of her skin, distantly letting her thoughts sink into the entire flurry of emotions she'd gone through while they'd been there. "I think I'm ready for a nice, normal day."

Rachel disconnected briefly as she turned over, slipping easily onto her back and looking up at Quinn. The brunette wiped sleep from her eyes, stretched, her warm lithe body fitting perfectly in Quinn's arms. "I'm glad you came." Those perfect chocolate orbs stared up at her affectionately, Rachel reaching up a hand to gingerly slip her fingers along the curvature of Quinn's jaw.

Even though Quinn had mixed feelings, and all-together didn't know exactly how this trip had changed her, she was still grateful she had come. The worst things in life, she'd been learning, were the 'what if's' that haunted people until their dying day. With Rachel, she'd conquered most of those lingering questions, both with her relationship with the diva and taking the chance of going on this trip.

Quinn took Rachel's hand delicately and placed a simple kiss against her palm, before leaning down and capturing her lips in a loving kiss.

###

Saying goodbye was a strange thing. It was never anything Quinn had been very good at, mostly because she didn't know how people were supposed to act, or feel. There'd been a very poignant thing about her life as HBIC. She had remained aloof enough not to ever get attached to anyone, and although it had been lonely, it had nurtured a sense of detachment that she savored. With Rachel in her life, there was no chance of remaining aloof. Rachel made her feel everything, and under the surface she had always made Quinn feel. How many times had she broken down in front of the diva? Cried, confessed secrets, talked to Rachel as if they had once been friends though never had been? The blonde felt her thoughts tugging her lower, and in an effort to quell them, she reached for Rachel's hand and laced their fingers together. Rachel instinctually responded in kind, squeezing Quinn's hand in her own, but not disengaging from the conversation with Shelby.

If anything, the ex-Cheerio was overjoyed that Rachel seemed so bouyant now that she'd gotten to spend real time getting to know her mother. Quinn could see that she practically glowed and bounced whenever they spoke. The two women had so much in common, it was easy to see that Shelby had some powerfully influential genes. Quinn let the women talk, and all the while felt her gut twisting bit by bit in anxiousness. The airport crowds were heavy, people coming and going, hugging one another goodbye. The worst part for Quinn, usually, was having to go through security. Something about being parted from whoever she was travelling with made her incredibly nervous. She felt like she was floating out at sea alone. Now, though, she suspected that saying goodbye to Beth would be the most torturous part of the whole thing.

Over the last days of their trip, she'd begun to slowly separate herself from the girl. She didn't want to give Shelby any reason to feel as if her role as Beth's mother was being threatened. She hadn't even really texted anyone back in Lima about all of it, excluding Santana. A part of her felt guilty, as if she should have included Puck in this somehow, but at the time it just didn't seem like a good idea. Quinn and Shelby had exchanged e-mails and phone numbers - mostly because Shelby insisted - so Shelby could send Quinn and Puck updated photos and news about Beth over time. The blonde didn't know if Shelby would follow through, but she was torn on whether it was something she wanted. Could she be forever reminded of the child living a life separate from her own? She'd come to the decision that until she got a handle on the emotions regarding giving Beth away, she wouldn't be making too many trips to New York.

She didn't want to confuse Beth, or make Shelby feel like she had to share her daughter. Rachel had her mother back in her life, and Shelby had two beautiful daughters to look after. Quinn didn't want to come between that. Well, she wanted Beth back in her life, but she didn't. None of that would be fair.

She shook the thoughts from her mind, squeezed Rachel's hand once more as if to communicate her need for the contact. Her lips quirked at the edges as she felt Rachel's gaze turn to her. Those brown eyes drew her in, comforted her, gave her the thing she needed to survive and change into the person she was to become - hope. Rachel seemed to be a boundless resource for hope. Never once, in all their time as enemies, then friends, then lovers, had she seen Rachel give up hope for anything. Quinn loved that about her, loved many things about her.

The bustle of the airport security line was loud, a rude awakening that this was it, the jumping off point. They'd have to say goodbye now, and Quinn didn't know how she felt, if she felt anything at all. Maybe she'd get lucky and it would only sink in later. The ex-Cheerio really didn't want to cry in the middle of a busy airport.

"Thank you girls, so much, for coming out to stay. It means so much to me," Shelby touched Quinn's shoulder before turning to Rachel, and pulling her daughter into a tight embrace. Both brunettes clung to one another, and Quinn could hear the sigh expelled from Rachel.

"Thank you for having us," Rachel spoke softly, the shorter brunette latched on for dear life. As she pulled away, Quinn noted tears in those beautiful brown eyes. She wanted to comfort her, but she didn't want to interrupt the moment. Shelby reached forward and stroked a hand gently over Rachel's hair, smiling affectionately.

"Love you, kid," her tone was warm, the kind of tone someone might have if they didn't want to get too emotional.

Rachel smiled tearfully and nodded, glowing under her mother's affection, "I love you," she seemed to be a bit nervous about saying that. Come to think of it, Quinn hadn't really heard Rachel say 'I love you' to Shelby, not that she could recall. The diva was clearly unsure about saying those words, but the smile and the bashful flush of her cheeks gave credence to the fact that Rachel meant it. After a moment, Rachel bent at the knees to say goodbye to Beth. "It was lovely meeting you, little sister, I'm so glad I finally got the chance to see you."

Shelby motioned delicately to Quinn, "You're not getting away that easy," although she was giving Quinn a gentle ribbing, she could see the sympathy in Shelby's expression. The blonde awkwardly shuffled forward, unsure of what Shelby wanted, but when she felt warm arms surround her, she realized she was getting the same kind of hug Rachel had. It took Quinn a moment to respond - Judy Fabray hadn't exactly been overly physically affectionate as a mother - her arms slipped easily around Shelby and Quinn allowed herself to close her eyes, just for a moment. Shelby's strong arms were enveloping her in the kind of hug she'd always remember. Motherly. Because of Beth, because of Quinn having Beth, this troubled mother had become a mom, to both Rachel and Beth. It was beautiful in some way. Quinn found herself holding on tight for a moment, fingers digging into the soft suede of Shelby's coat.

"Thank you."

"Thank _you,_" Shelby parroted softly and Quinn thought she felt a pair of lips on the top of her head just before they parted. The blonde saw Rachel watching with a quiet smile, and felt Rachel's hand touch her shoulder as she knelt down to say goodbye to Beth once more.

It was akin to tearing a limb off. Not giving up Beth once, but leaving her twice. Quinn felt speechless, her brow furrowed with the soft ghost of emotion. Luckily, it didn't have th full impact on her just yet. The blonde reached out, touched Beth's hand much in the way she had upon first really meeting the girl. Beth beamed and bounced her feet a bit. This beautiful child would have a happy family, and that's what mattered. Someday, somehow, Quinn would fit into that life, but for now she couldn't. The blonde kissed Beth's tiny hand and shook it. "Don't forget me, okay?" The words came out a bit choppy, emotion making its way to the surface. Quinn stood, felt a subtle tremble in her thighs, and was grateful for the arm that slipped around her waist as the blonde stood level with Rachel. She shared a grateful glance with Rachel.

"Be safe, girls. Make sure you text me when you land," Shelby offered and gave one last kiss to her oldest daughter's cheek. Rachel blushed under the attention and noded, before she gently tugged Quinn along with her.

Quinn felt a bit numb, a bit sad. When they got through security and made their way to the boarding gate, she could feel the slow rumbling of emotions beginning. The ex-Cheerio sincerely hoped she could keep a grip on her emotions at least until they boarded the plane. She felt a tentative squeeze and glanced at the hand joined with her own. "Thank you," Quinn finally spoke.

Rachel merely offered a grin and nodded.

"You're perfect for me," Quinn breathed as they sat down together at the boarding gate, separated from a few people here and there who were waiting to board the flight.

Rachel looked a little stunned, and swallowed, "Quinn," she felt her heart respond to the tone of awe in Rachel's voice.

"You are. I love you, I love you so much," tears welled into Quinn's eyes, and she gently took Rachel's free hand in her own. Hazel eyes dropped to their joined hands. "I know we're young, and that most people don't think you can figure out things this serious at an early age, but Rachel, I just .. I don't want to be with anyone else. Not that I was going anywhere, but I just need you to know that. I need _you, _even when I'm hurting, you make it better. When I want to run, I can't. You anchor me. You .. I just - " her words faltered on her tongue. As Quinn willed herself to look up at Rachel's face, she was stricken by the sight of Rachel's deep affection. It poured out her gaze, the soft sight of tears in those perfect eyes. An emotional laugh bubbled up as Quinn took in Rachel's expression, "I really like making you speechless," she purred softly before pressing her lips to Rachel's.

The diva smiled slowly, sniffled, "I love you. Although I agree, most people don't find their particular match in life, I do - I feel that this is something that we'll never lose."

"Good," Quinn breathed, smiled happily. Although she felt a mix of emotions, she knew Rachel would keep her safe, would protect her from the sharp barbs of loss.

Overhead, the speakers announced general boarding, and Quinn rose, keeping one of Rachel's hands in her own. The blonde glanced behind them, as if she was partially expecting to see Shelby or Beth in the distance. They were heading back home, and Quinn felt both relieved and sad about that. Rachel, too, had looked behind them.

"If anything," the blonde began, "I'm glad we did this for you," she glanced over at Rachel, saw her smiling affectionately. The steady _thump-click-roll _of all of the boarding passengers coated the silence between them. "And me too. I never thought I'd get the chance that I did."

Rachel remained silent, but rested her head against Quinn's shoulder. Finally they reached their seats, Rachel getting to climb into the window seat before Quinn sat next to her. The flight home was relatively silent, both girls lost in their own thoughts and reviewing the past two weeks like a slideshow. Rachel, of course, was a bit more content than Quinn. The brunette was toying with Quinn's fingers mid-thought. Something calming rolled through Quinn, and she let out a quiet sigh. Her emotions, although fragile, weren't overwhelmingly sad. She thought perhaps they would be in a few days, when they finally had gotten home. The relief she felt made her feel guilty.

Quinn closed her eyes, and felt Rachel resting her head against her own. Quietly, she took another steadying breath and focused on the feeling of Rachel's breathing, her hand in her own, and the sound of the plane lulling her into a tired sleep.

###

"Q!" Brittany happily picked Quinn up in her arms and spun her around, before giving Rachel a little bit more of a subdued hug. Santana was striding cooly along behind her, a slow smirk on her face at the sight of her best friend and the little diva that accompanied her.

Santana's reaction was much calmer, but not less welcoming in any sense of the word. In fact, even Rachel seemed to feel a warmer reaction to Santana. It was Quinn the Latina greeted first. Her arms slipped around Quinn and pulled her in for what could only be described as a loving embrace. Quinn could smell the gentle musk of her perfume as Santana rested her head against her best friend's shoulder.

"Missed you, Q," her voice was that sultry warm that it always had been, and Quinn tightened her arms around Santana. She embraced her in earnest, Quinn's fingers gently digging into Santana's shoulder. Santana let out a quiet sigh that lingered, almost as if she were relieved to see Quinn. It surprised the ex-Cheerio how much sincerity Santana was showing. It felt like the embrace lasted forever, and was nearly as intense as the first time Quinn and Rachel had shared that tender moment in Rachel's bathroom late one night, what seemed like a lifetime ago. Quinn felt a gentle peck on her cheek as Santana pulled away, and the Latina's cheeks were flushed in the way they were when she was feeling especially emotional.

The blonde smiled warmly and touched Santana's face, "Missed you too," she scrunched her nose playfully and gently shoved Santana's shoulder to lighten the mood. Santana was one to retract if things remained mushy for too long. Even if she had been the one to make it somewhat emotional. Those dark brown eyes glittered as the Latina shoved back.

"Gimli," Santana nodded in acknowledgement and was chewing on her lip in the way Quinn recognized as a show of insecurity. Rachel was hesitating somewhat in front of the Latina, hands folded in front of her.

"Hello, Santana," Rachel greeted warmly. Rachel Berry's gaze could melt anyone's heart, and Quinn knew that because she'd been the Ice Queen - but those eyes, those eyes had dismantled her completely. Quinn could see Santana's foundation cracking as she glanced at the floor. Rachel was shifting her foot nervously and chewing on her bottom lip. Quinn had to make a sincere effort not to laugh, because the fact they both felt so incredibly awkward but so desperately wanted to hug one another was beyond description. It was out of character for Santana, in a way, but also endearing.

"Fuck it," Santana finally caved, rolled her eyes, and smoothly closed the distance between herself and Rachel. The Latina pulled Rachel into the same intense embrace she'd offered Quinn. The blonde smiled a bit and shared a look with Brittany, who was beaming a little.

Rachel looked, at first, terrified. Her arms had gone out to her sides as if her first instinct was to run away, but it didn't take long for the warm arms around her to melt the diva into the embrace. Things were changing. People were changing. They were all growing up, in some weird way. Rachel grasped on to Santana, tightly, as if they'd always been close. There was something beautiful about it. Quinn smiled a bit as she saw Rachel lean up on her tip-toes to fully embrace Santana in return.

After a few moments like that, Santana disengaged, glanced around the airport and brushed herself off. The Latina cleared her throat, arched an eyebrow, and pointed an accusing finger at Rachel, "Don't tell a soul that just happened."

"N-no. Of course not," Rachel looked a little flushed, pleased, and frightened, all at once. She held up two fingers, "Scout's honor."

Santana gave a curt nod before she took Brittany's hand in her own, "Come on, let's get you losers your baggage and then I can take you home," the Latina offered a simple smile as she turned, leading the way to baggage claim.

Quinn was impressed. Santana's display before they had even left for New York was a surprising stretch for her emotions, but now she seemed to have come leaps and bounds. After all, she had hugged Rachel Berry and it _looked _like she'd enjoyed it. Of course, who wouldn't? Quinn's expression lit as she slipped an arm around Rachel's shoulders and strode alongside the grinning diva.

"So how'd it go, anyway?" Santana asked a few moments later as they watched the baggage travel in circles, waiting for the luggage Rachel had meticulously tagged before they left. The girl was nothing if not organized.

"It was good. Enlightening," Quinn responded honestly. "Weird, but good."

Santana nodded. "How about you, Baggins?"

"Wonderful! I have to say it - "

"Ah," Santana cut her off with a swift hand gesture, "no. I didn't ask for a whole damn story. I just asked how it went."

Rachel blinked rapidly, as if a little caught offguard, "Of course, yes. It went well."

"Get along with the moms?"

"Perfectly."

"Cool. That's good. I mean it's probably a good thing 'cause you know ... she hasn't really been around."

Rachel stiffened a little and glanced at the ground. Quinn tightened her arm around her shoulders and pressed her a bit into the crook of her shoulder. Rachel's hand slipped around Quinn's back and rested on her hip, squeezing.

"I didn't mean it like that," Santana corrected herself, apparently seeing Rachel's discomfort. "I just mean .. I'm glad for you."

The brunette nodded in response, "Yes, of course, I know. Thank you, Santana. I appreciate the sentiment."

"Do you guys plan on going back?" Brittany asked curiously as she swayed in place.

Quinn glanced at Rachel. That was really the diva's call. It was her mom, after all.

Rachel apparently was thinking something similar because she searched Quinn's expression, "I think not for a little while. It was quite emotionally taxing, you know. For the both of us, of course," she offered sympathetically before glancing at Brittany.

Brittany only nodded simply. "I think your dads said they were making dinner for all of us, if you guys weren't too tired," she offered the information hopefully. "Leroy said he was going to explain veganism to me and Lord Tubbington said I'm stupid for not knowing what that is."

Rachel grinned and nodded, "We'd love to have you both over." Santana spotted their bags right away - mostly because Rachel had used very obvious gold star tags to mark both of their luggage bags. The Latina had shook her head, said something in Spanish accompanied with an eye-roll, and was trudging ahead of them, both bags in tow.

It was funny, now that Quinn gave the dinner invite. She genuinely was a part of the Berry family. When they were discussed, she was automatically included in that; Rachel hadn't meant 'we' as in her fathers and herself, she'd meant the four of them. A family unit. Quinn was part of a real family, the kind that would love and support her. She had (unofficial) fathers. She distantly had a daughter. What was most immediate was that she had a girl who loved her for everything she was and everything she could be. She felt a squeeze at her hip, and Quinn smiled at the diva beside her. Rachel's eyes were glimmering with affection. There were so many things she wanted to say to Rachel, so many things she wanted to ask her. A part of Quinn was bowled over by the sudden intensity of growth in feelings for Rachel in the last two weeks. It was always like that with Rachel - just when Quinn thought she couldn't possibly feel anything more intense, there she was marvelling at the emotions she felt like little explosions underneath her ribs.

She wanted to tell Rachel that when she'd said she wanted to spend the rest of her life with her, she really meant it. Quinn couldn't imagine being anywhere without Rachel. It meant so many things - it meant committing to a same-sex relationship in a world that didn't always love or accept them. It meant being open, being unafraid of the looks, unafraid of the jeers that might get thrown at them. They still had senior year to go, and by all means things could have changed, but something in her gut told her that they wouldn't be changing at all.

There were plans, ideas she had, and she didn't want to focus on them too much. One thing at a time, she reminded herself of this lately quite often. Right now she had to focus on dealing with her leftover feelings from visiting Beth. Meeting Beth. And at some point, she knew she'd have to tell Puck that she'd visited _their _daughter. Granted, Puck wasn't the type you'd consider to be a real fatherly sort, but he had a heart of gold and he had wanted to name her. So that's what they'd named her. Beth.

The foursome made their way out of the airport, mostly silent in the throng of crowds coming and going. Quinn slipped her arm from around Rachel's shoulders and gently took her hand as they made their way to the car, and the ex-Cheerio helped Santana put their luggage in the car, laughing as Santana complained about how heavy Quinn's bag was.

"Once HBIC, always HBIC, right, Q?"

"You know it," she winked at Santana before she got in the backseat, feeling Rachel slip in next to her and rest her head tiredly on Quinn's shoulder. The blonde easily slipped her arm around Rachel. Granted, she had a lot of emotions to process but she felt a warm glow in her heart. Listening to Santana and Brittany talk made her feel like she was finally home, especially with Rachel snuggled against her side and dozing off already.

###

Hiram and Leroy greeted both the girls warmly, and Leroy planted a kiss on Quinn's forehead as the blonde stepped inside. Quinn had flushed, unsure of how to react to that. Her father had obviously never been affectionate, so Quinn had little to no experience in interacting with older males, father figures. Even Schue kept his sincerest distance - mostly because even _he _still expected Quinn's attitude to return with a vengeance.

Quinn merely grinned and hugged Leroy around the waist.

"So, girls, how did it go?" Hiram asked as he pulled the vegan lasagna out of the oven. "Was it nice seeing Shelby and Beth?"

Rachel nodded enthusiastically as she sat down on a stool. Surprisingly, Santana took a seat next to her, leaving Rachel sandwiched between Quinn and Santana. The diva reached over and linked her fingers with Quinn's. "It was wonderful. There was so much to do there, but even just staying at her apartment was quite nice. She even looked up vegan recipes to cook while I was there," she laughed a little bit, offered a smile.

"And Beth?" Leroy added carefully, his eyes darting to Quinn and lingering there.

Quinn swallowed thickly, hazel eyes darting down, "It was nice."

"Good," Leroy offered what appeared to be a sympathetic smile, his eyes wrinkling at the edges as if he was trying to say just a little bit more, offer an ear to listen or a shoulder to lean on. Quinn smiled gratefully and nodded, remaining mostly silent. Rachel's hand rhythmically squeezed at her own, gently.

Suddenly, the diva hopped up as if she'd forgotten something, "Oh! Perhaps we should go take our bags upstairs," but her tone suggested that she may want a moment with Quinn.

Shrugging her shoulders a bit nonchalantly, she nodded, "Better now than later," Quinn got up from her stool and was grateful to see Brittany slip into conversation with Leroy about veganism (_"But isn't that mean to the vegetables? I mean... they're alive, too."__) _with Santana politely listening in and watching with a hungry stare as Hiram evened out the lasagna.

Quinn grabbed both of their luggages, placing them in their respective rooms. Her eyes moved to the desk, where she'd last hidden Beth's birth certificate. Rachel's hand surprised her as it slipped up her back and over her shoulder. The blonde turned into the touch, offered a quiet smile.

"I just wanted to make sure everything is okay," Rachel hesitated a bit, reached up, and touched Quinn's face in that gentle, affectionate way.

Quinn nodded, "Yeah. I think it's going to take a few days to really process everything. It was good for me though."

Rachel nodded appreciatively, leaned up, and captured Quinn's lips in a tender, passionate kiss. That was another nice thing about being home - almost complete solitude and intimacy without worrying about Shelby or Beth hearing. Quinn felt that familiar spark as Rachel kissed her in just that subtle, sensual way that always managed to jump-start Quinn's heart. The blonde smiled against Rachel's lips.

"We should go downstairs."

"Okay," Rachel pouted slightly, causing Quinn to shake her head and grin.

"We have all night. And we're home, so that means a lot of time together. Alone," Quinn arched a suggestive eyebrow and watched Rachel blush. That Berry grin was too wonderful to ignore, and Quinn sighed happily. "I'll meet you downstairs, I just have to - " she thumbed the air behind her, pointing to the restroom, and Rachel nodded simply.

The diva disappeared down the stairs, and Quinn glanced at the bedroom door. She closed the door to her bedroom only slightly, and snuck quietly to her desk. The ex-Cheerio opened Beth's birth certificate, eyes scanning over the details. She touched the little footprints on the corner, and smiled with both fondness and sadness. Tears pricked at her eyes. "Don't forget me," she murmured quietly.

Another cautious glance told her she was still alone, and she opened her drawer. In it, she'd been storing an empty frame with the dimensions suitable for holding the birth certificate. With shaking hands, Quinn slipped the back off and placed the certificate in the frame. Fastening the back latch, she positioned the certificate on the corner of the desk, touched the glass fondly.

"I love you, Beth," Quinn's voice was sincere, though she knew the child couldn't hear her. The blonde touched her flat stomach, the thing that would always remind her of the ghost of what was. Her fingers moved over her own abs, remembering how it felt to carry her daughter for nine months, every day appraising the mirror.

It wasn't easy, giving up her child. Quinn knew, beyond a doubt, she'd done the most selfless thing she could have done in Beth's situation. It had taken all the strength she had to make it through that. The blonde moved over to her mirror, lifted her shirt a little. Flat. Remembering the ghost of the Quinn that once was, she stared for a moment.

"We're gonna be okay, Q," she spoke quietly to herself. For the first time in what seemed like ages, she saw a flicker of self-acceptance and self-love in her reflection. Beth was out there, living a happy and healthy childhood, and that's all any mother wanted for her child.

Downstairs, raucous laughter erupted, and Quinn smiled quietly. She had a family. It might be complicated, and difficult, and she might still have a few remaining issues to deal with - namely, letting Puck know she'd seen Beth, and letting Rachel know all the things she wanted to say, all the things she had been waiting to ask the brunette until it felt right - but for tonight, she was content. The loss of her daughter stung her no more than it had an hour ago. Rachel's laughter peeled from the kitchen, and hazel eyes closed for a moment.

"Santana, make sure you keep the jokes appropriate!" Quinn called down the stairs before she trotted down and joined her very strange, unorthodox family for a vegan dinner, even though she really wanted bacon.


	9. Send Your Lifeboats Out

**Title**: In the Broken Night, Set Against the Sky

**Pairing**: Quinn/Rachel

**Author's Note**: Lyrics from "Lifeboats" by Snow Patrol. Chapter 9 of 10 is here! I apologize for the lengthy wait - between dealing with my bipolar disorder and balancing all of my schoolwork for Uni, I haven't had much time or energy to write. I'm trying to get back to it though. I've mentioned before that I hope to update on weekends primarily but I'm going to get this chapter up before this weekend - at least that's my goal. So if you're reading this before Friday in the U.S., then yay me! I know this chapter is short, but its purpose is to bring resolution to the Puck/Beth/Quinn dilemma. At least some resolution. I feel the chapter starts and ends precisely where it should. :) Chapter 9 of 10. I apologize that it has taken so long.

HL: Yes, of course, tea. ^_^  
><span>J0EBLACK:<span> I'm glad you feel it's insightful, since that's what I always aim for. :)  
><span>vampiretiger:<span> I am becoming somewhat obsessed with the Pezberry dynamic in both my stories, actually. After I finish this story I'm actually going to be playing with a Pezberry romance/smut fic. I'm not sure how Puck is going to react to all of it yet!  
><span>Sharene19:<span> I hope you didn't wear the edge of your seat out! I'm so sorry this took so long. I'm back though, at least most of the time! Sorry I made you cry. -hugs and love-  
><span>depaul7:<span> I believe Santana is essentially a sweet person once she shows it. She might be fiesty and all but I really think she's one of the most caring girls on the show.  
><span>cali:<span> Who could resist Rachel Berry hugs? I'm glad you love it. We're almost done but there will be more stories!  
><span>texican:<span> I think they need one another and in a weird way they're going through the same kind of feelings. Of course love conquers all!  
><span>Buttercup:<span> Here it is! I'm sorry it's taken so long. I hope you can forgive me.  
><span>meso30180:<span> There may be a little bit more Santana and Britt in the next couple of chapters. I want to tie up all the loose ends though. ^_^ I have some plans for Quinn/Rachel to end things well.

###

Chapter 9: **Send Your Lifeboat**

_Send your lifeboats out for me  
>send your lifeboat out<br>send your lifeboats out for me  
>send your lifeboat out...<em>

###

"You mean you saw her without even telling me?" The accusatory tone on the other end of the line made Quinn frown emphatically. Her hand trembled a little and she stilled it by clutching the pillow on her bed. She'd been in her room gathering the courage to call and tell Puck, with Rachel in her own room working on her studies. Here it was, the moment she'd been dreading - and his unhappiness confirmed her fears.

Quinn swallowed, "It's just .. it's something I needed to do, Puck. I know it was really selfish of me - "

"Damn right it was selfish. She's my kid, too, you know."

"She's _not _our kid, Puck. You forget that. _We _gave her up."

"No, _you_ gave her up. You didn't give me a choice."

_Click._ _Beeeeep._

Quinn sighed into the recieving end of a dead phone call, and clicked her phone shut a moment after. Her index finger brushing over her forehead and picking at an unnoticeable bit of dry skin, she frowned and felt her chest aching. Puck was just angry, that's what she tried telling herself. Puck was only angry. He couldn't remember that they'd both agreed, standing in front of the window, that they were going to give Beth up. It had been a mutual choice. She supposed she should have somehow included Puck in the plans to see Beth but part of her hadn't been able to. There was too many unresolved issues to deal with Puck's, too. She couldn't have put herself through that. Not to mention, the blonde remembered, the trip had only been planned between Shelby and Rachel with a short guest list of two.

All of that was pointless to recall, though. She shifted her foot off the ground and sat on her leg, closed her eyes. _Take one breath, and then take another; repeat these steps until you feel like you're doing better._ It became her mantra, to repeat that in her head. The even breathing was the only sound in the room. Until she heard a quiet _click _and the squeaking of the hinges on the door.

"Are you okay?"

How did Rachel always know everything? How did she always know exactly what Quinn was planning even when she didn't say a word? Although she wouldn't put it past the diva to hide outside her door and listen to the conversation, she didn't think this was the case. The blonde's eyes opened and lingered on the concerned brown gaze locked on her face. Rachel was reading her, trying to see into Quinn's heart.

A shake of the head was all Rachel needed and she was wrapping her beautiful arms around Quinn and pulling her into a tight embrace. Small, graceful fingers tangled in Quinn's hair - eliciting a shiver - and pulled Quinn gently against her stomach. Standing between Quinn's thighs, Rachel was cradling Quinn's very heart and soothing the deep ache that resided there.

"He's really mad at me."

"He shouldn't be."

"He should be."

"Stop that."

"Stop what?"

Quinn felt Rachel's warmth pull away and she frowned until she realized that Rachel was staring down at her. Sheepishly she offered her best smile, while Rachel spoke, "You know what you're doing."

"Failing. Miserably."

_Smack. _Quinn's head knocked to the side a little. Rachel had untangled one hand and smacked Quinn just above her ear. Her beautiful diva was frowning at her.

"Sorry."

"It's okay," Rachel soothed and wrapped her arms around Quinn once more - the blonde felt herself enveloped in Rachel's perfection and knew that somehow it would be alright. Not everything had to be perfect right now. After all, her whole life had changed in a very paradoxically slow way, she couldn't expect everything to just fall into place.

"I just didn't want him to be angry with me. It's bad enough... I mean I feel like -"

_Smack._

"Aw, come on. What's with this tough-love stuff?" Quinn rubbed the side of her head.

"It's the only thing that gets you to stop blaming yourself."

Quinn glowered up at Rachel before sighing, fingers rubbing her head still, "Thanks." Above her, Rachel beamed.

"You're welcome!" The short diva bounced on the balls of her feet a little before stepping back, "now come on," graceful fingers tangled in her own, "I feel like watching _Funny Girl _and I'd like you to hold me while I do so."

That was a request Quinn never could resist, really. She wasn't particularly fond of _Funny Girl _but she loved being close to Rachel any chance she got. Even after they'd been together for some time, the thought of holding Rachel was endlessly attractive. The lithe blonde stood and followed a practically hopping Rachel out of the room. Thoughtfully, Quinn smiled, "How do you always know what makes me feel better?"

"I've been paying attention to you for a long time, Fabray," Rachel stated with a nearly-cryptic tone.

"That's kind of creepy."

"Is not."

"Is so."

"Stop that!"

###

_So you and hobbit watching Funny Girl agn? - S_

_Yeah. - Q_

_B was wondering if we could come over. - S_

Right in the middle of responding (Quinn had managed to get _I'm sure Rachel wouldn't_ typed out) Rachel snatched away Quinn's phone and began deleting the message Quinn had started to type back.

_I would love if you would stop referring to me as a hobbit. I'm not nearly so hairy. As for whether or not you can come over, only if you apologize. This is Rachel, also. - Q_

_Q doesn't sound like a dictionary or encyclopedia or wtvr. B over soon. Sorry, btw. - S_

_Sincerely? This is still Rachel. - Q_

_YES! Gtfo with the extra txting. Im driving. - S_

_Texting and driving? - Q_

_Give Q back her damn phone and stop txting! - S_

Rachel huffed in response, and Quinn just tried to keep her composure. That wasn't particularly easy with the exchange between Santana and Rachel. Everytime they interacted, it was both amusing and endearing. Old tensions still remained but at least Santana seemed to be warming up to Rachel.

"Tell your friend she shouldn't text and drive. It's not safe," Rachel's arms snaked around Quinn's waist after handing back the cell phone and snuggling against Quinn's chest.

"I will."

A soft sigh fluttered from Rachel's mouth as she settled into Quinn. She understood the nuance of relief behind those sighs - they were the very same she let out at the end of the night when they crawled into bed.

It washed over Quinn, how lucky she was to be with Rachel. After all they had been through together, supported one another, and the feelings they'd harbored for so long. It seemed as if it had taken a lifetime to get here. The blonde felt the surging of emotion before clutching Rachel tighter. The smell of Rachel's shampoo wafted toward her senses and Quinn buried her face against the gentle sheet of Rachel's hair.

It was the same feeling she'd had that morning, long ago, when she'd surprised Rachel in front of the bathroom mirror and they'd shared what seemed to be the most intense (possibly sexually charged) embrace that she'd ever felt. Only this time - Rachel was certain, their relationship was certain. If nothing else, she had that certainty to hold on to. Rachel responded in kind by squeezing Quinn a little tighter around the waist. The brunette lifted her head and met hazel eyes with her own.

Quinn offered a silent smile..

"You okay?" Rachel's brow furrowed slightly. She must have taken the extra tightness of the hug as a sign Quinn was upset.

The blonde nodded and leaned down, brushing her lips over Rachel's, just light enough to let her feel the way Rachel pulled air into her lungs in surprise. She had planned on stopping there, but something came over her. A swell of warmth and emotion was behind the next brush of lips. Rachel reciprocated by shifting subtly against Quinn's torso and gripping the fabric of Quinn's shirt.

She could feel the heat boiling up in her, pressing her further, and her tongue dipped against the curve of Rachel's bottom lip in a hungry way. The brunette was shifting her leg over Quinn's, shifting upward, and soon was straddling Quinn in a manner that meant if things didn't slow down then they'd be ignoring any knocks on the door from Santana and Brittany. The kiss got deeper, headier, and Rachel was panting softly in between them a few moments later; Quinn felt Rachel focus on the distance between their hips. She did this thing with her hips that made Quinn go crazy - it was the look of concentration and lustful abandon as Rachel's hips rolled forward that added to the stimulation of it.

"We have to - " Quinn began to whimper out, but was interrupted by the solid knock at the front door.

Rachel groaned. Simultaneously they shared looks of regret that they'd agreed to let their favorite Cheerios come over.

###

Just as things began to get hot and heavy a second time around, it was a fiercer knocking which forced them apart. It was a knocking followed by loud, angry shouts from the other side.

"Puck," Quinn's stomach fell into a sort of sick spinning motion, and she stumbled for the door a little. She didn't know whether she wanted to move or not, and Rachel's hand was protectively curving over Quinn's lower back. She looked a little frightened.

"Let me - "

"No," Quinn spoke, but it sounded distant to her own ears, and she took a steeling breath.

The blonde made her way down the stairs, Rachel quick on her feet behind her, following closely. Rachel's hand never left her back, not even as Quinn leaned forward and cautiously opened the front door. Rachel's dad's were asleep in their bedrooms, but they wouldn't be for long if Puck was too loud.

"How dare you be so loud this late at night," Quinn snapped, HBIC-mode flipping on like a light switch. "There are three other people in this house, not just me. You may have a problem, Puckerman, but you do not need to thunder around like an ogre to make your point." Her whispering was harsh, and she grabbed Puck's arm by the sleeve and yanked him into the livingroom.

Rachel's hand stayed on Quinn's back, those brown eyes watching Puck through narrowed slits. Quinn thought it was cute how protective Rachel looked.

Puck's stance was defensive, his nostrils flaring in anger, "You visited our daughter without even telling me? You couldn't even tell me you were going to see her?"

"Oh excuse me, I forgot the fact that you got me drunk and didn't use protection gave you parental rights," okay, that was sort of a low blow, but Quinn was full on Head-Bitch-In-Charge right now and Puck deserved it.

Puck began to speak, his fist curled at his side, "She's _my _daughter, too!"

"I _know!_" Quinn whispered harshly and closed her eyes. The breath she drew in was one of someone in pain. She sucked in air delicately, "Look, I know I should have told you but Rachel's mother invited just the two of us over there. I just ... I wanted to see her. I didn't think about it, I didn't think about you. It wasn't about you."

"It wasn't about _you _either. It should have been about her."

Ah, Puck. He would be such a good father.

Thusfar, Rachel had remained silent, "It was about her," she argued quietly, looking between Quinn and Puck. "It was about Beth meeting her mother."

"What about her father?"

"There are still chances, Puck," Rachel argued, still quietly.

The thought must not have dawned on Puck, because he momentarily looked confused. "Oh."

"See, you oaf?"

Frowning, Puck looked as if he wanted to say something else, but couldn't. He paused, sighed, "How was she? What does she look like?"

"Beautiful," Quinn spoke reverently and felt a sharp pain in her chest. She had accepted Beth was no longer hers, and Puck would have to accept the same. "She has your eyes."

Puck's eyes glistened in reaction, "Really?"

"Yeah."

"And my nose," Quinn laughed ever so quietly.

"Aw, I was hoping she'd be a little Jewish princess."

Puck seemed soothed momentarily, and Quinn felt relief like a warm blanket. She stepped forward, felt Rachel's fingers fall from her back, and the blonde wrapped her arms around Puck's muscular frame. He embraced her back.

"She's not ours anymore, Puck."

"I know." He sounded near tears, and hugged Quinn tighter.


	10. For Me

**Title:** In the Broken Night, Set Against the Sky

**Pairing:** Quinn/Rachel

**A/N:** Lyrics from "Lifeboats" by Snow Patrol. So here we arrive at the last chapter of this particular story. I hope you have all enjoyed it with me. The way in which Rachel and Quinn have grown and developed throughout this story is completely credited to them; it honestly astonishes me that they have become so utterly real. To tell the honest truth, if I may be redundant, this may be the single fanfic outside of _Savior _that will stay in my heart. Not particularly because these characters belong to Glee, but because they have become starkly real human beings in the process of writing them. I couldn't be happier to have been the one to share this tale. There's something magical about writing – many writers will tell you it is not of their own volition. I tell you the same. While it seems to be an act of creation, moments of truth reveal that it is nothing but the sharing of a story, weaving a result out of possibility. Thank you tremendously for all those who have stuck with this story 'til the end. With the completion of this, I can move on to complete _Somewhere a Clock is Ticking._

###

Chapter 10: **For Me**

_Send your lifeboats out for me  
>send your lifeboat out,<br>send your lifeboats out for me  
>send your lifeboat out …<em>

###

Real stories never ended. Quinn had read somewhere that the best stories were ones that never really ended, even after the words had stopped being new. There was always the beauty of possibility, the beauty of 'what ifs' dancing ahead on the path. Just beneath the surface, there was always some new possibility. Rachel had been the one to teach her this in most recent times. Not only had Rachel and her fathers helped her when she needed it the most, but the diva had been with her every bittersweet moment in New York. The blonde lay in bed next to Rachel. It was a rare morning when Rachel Berry slept in, and normally Quinn would take the opportunity to rest a little longer, but she couldn't sleep. Something inside Quinn was stirring to life.

Beside her, Rachel shifted, palmed the sheets, and pulled them tighter. Quinn chuckled, rolled her eyes. If someone had warned her ahead of time that Rachel was a cover-hog, she might have re-thought the situation just a little bit. Or hidden the blankets until Rachel fell asleep. Either way.

It wasn't until she heard Rachel's characteristic morning yawn that she realized the brunette was awake. Against her, Rachel shifted and rolled over, slipping an arm over Quinn's stomach and pulling herself closer. Welcoming the warmth, Quinn ran her fingers over Rachel's arm. "Sleep good?"

"Mm," Rachel croaked sleepily, "you're awake early."

"Just thinking."

"'Bout?"

"Summer's nearly over. Just a little bit of time left to go, and we'll be seniors. What happens to us then?"

"New York Academy of the Dramatic Arts."

"For you. What about me?" Quinn had spent a while thinking about this lately. It was one of those trains of thought that lingered in the back of your mind until you acknowledged it. She didn't have Rachel's passion for – well, anything. Quinn most certainly did not want to part ways with Rachel, even if it was only temporary. Rachel felt the same, this much Quinn knew. As she turned her quiet gaze in Rachel's direction, she watched as the brunette chewed thoughtfully on her lip.

"What do you love?"

"You." The answer was simple and honest. Something she meant with all her heart. She loved nothing more than Rachel. She'd loved Rachel even before she'd admitted those feelings, and had obsessed singularly over the girl in different ways. Rachel had been her long-time passion, and nothing else. She could think of nothing that gave her the same joy. Beside her, Rachel blushed and rolled her eyes.

A small grin accompanied the brunette's bashful grin, "Well aren't you charming, Quinn Fabray. You know what I mean. What is it you want to do when we graduate?"

"I haven't really figured that out yet," in all honesty, she hadn't. Quinn turned her gaze to the ceiling. "I think I want to go to college, but I don't know what for. Maybe I could take some general classes, find out what I like the most." It seemed the most sensible course of action. As she lay there, pondering, she realized no one had ever asked her what she wanted for her future. No one had cared enough to ask.

Rachel squeezed her side, pressed her lips to Quinn's neck. The diva's feminine fingers curled along the contour of Quinn's jaw, and the brunette shifted her hips closer. It was hard to think, especially when the diva had a tendency to forget that they were in the middle of a conversation when she did things like that. Quinn chuckled, closed her eyes. She drew in a quiet breath as Rachel's mouth opened against her skin.

"It's hard to think when you're turning me on."

"It's hard to turn you on when you're thinking."

Quinn laughed, and she could feel Rachel smiling against her skin. She groaned as Rachel nipped at her throat and began shifting her leg over the top of her own. "I never thought Rachel Berry would be such a horn dog."

Rachel pulled away briefly, but her leg still managed to shift its way in between Quinn's and press upward. "How dare you, Fabray. I am not a horn dog."

"You always want morning sex," Quinn pointed out.

"And you don't?" Rachel arched an eyebrow, her mouth curving upward in a lopsided smile.

"I didn't say that."

The diva laughed quietly and returned to her earlier ministrations. Pressing her lips to the meeting of Quinn's neck and shoulders, she began shifting her torso against Quinn's. The hand that had once been lingering alongside her jaw was now slipping its way down the blonde's ribs; it continued that path until it met the end of her shirt, and Rachel didn't waste any time. Her feminine, strong fingers slipped their way up Quinn's shirt, massaged her breast. Quinn thought it was beyond sexy, the way Rachel pulled away to watch her reaction as she thumbed a nipple. Quinn's hazel eyes could only stay open so long as Rachel's fingers insisted upon her now erect nipple, rolled it between her thumb and forefinger. "So you do want it?" Quinn groaned, her thighs instinctively clenching, reminding her that Rachel's leg was also pressing between them. "Tell me what you want," Rachel breathed against Quinn's skin, brushed her full lips to the base of her throat. Her fingers had switched to the other breast now, paying special attention to the most sensitive parts of Quinn's skin.

It was easier not to worry about the future when Rachel Berry was firmly anchoring her to a very pleasurable present.

###

"Morning, girls," Hiram placed two small bowls of his special breakfast dish – vegan eggs, salsa, and rice. It was one of Quinn's favorites, even though they weren't real eggs. That was the thing about living with the Berry's, you learned to love vegan food and sometimes forgot that it wasn't 'normal' food.

Rachel kissed her father on the cheek, leaning up on her tip-toes. "Father, I was talking to Quinn this morning ... er, briefly ... about my future plans and hers."

"Oh?'

"Yes."

Quinn raised a questioning eyebrow, wondering what made Rachel think that she should take this up with him. Leroy was at work, which probably worked toward her benefit because _sometimes _he could insert his opinion pretty firmly. From him, Quinn thought, Rachel had gotten her assertiveness.

"What do you think she should do?"

"Well," Hiram, always the fair one, glanced at Quinn. They shared a mutual look of understanding, "I think that's a pretty big decision, Rach. It takes a lot of people quite a while to decide what they want to do after high school. There's always community college ..."

Quinn scoffed, snorted a little, and rolled her eyes, "Please."

Chuckling, the gentler Berry dad nodded, "Fair enough. That is a bit of a low target for you. You're smart enough to get into any university you want."

Rachel nodded in agreement before poking her fork at a particularly fluffy egg. "I thought maybe something in New York, since I can't imagine really wanting to live quite so far from Quinn."

Quinn let out a sound indicating her agreement as she devoured a mouthful of breakfast. She nodded enthusiastically for emphasis.

"Perhaps, if NYADA were to make an allowance for off-campus-living, you and Quinn could be roommates. And Quinn could go after whatever opportunities she wished."

"'M not a bad actress," Quinn mused through another large spoonful of food, sloppily.

Rachel looked only mildly disgusted, and took the muffled comment into consideration. "Perhaps you could pursue a drama degree."

The blonde shrugged. Just as she was about to speak, she started to choke. In a panic, Rachel started patting her back, and it took a few minutes for the girl to get control of herself.

"Graceful and ladylike," Hiram teased, patting Quinn's hand as he passed her a glass of water, then busied himself with the dishes.

"I was acting," Quinn mumbled, but gave a thankful half-smile to Rachel.

###

Application time. The prospect was daunting and overwhelming. Largely, Quinn thought that she could be perfectly happy without a college degree – but something deep within her said that she couldn't simply ignore an opportunity. With Rachel constantly filling out her own pile (a very large pile) of applications, the blonde felt a particular need to match that to some extent. She wished she had as great of a passion and knew a key thing about herself that Rachel seemed to. The girl was destined for Broadway and she'd always known that. And here, Quinn found herself musing that she'd really never felt a particular passion for anything. Then again, outside of cheerleading she hadn't _tried _much. She'd been limited by her upbringing; joining _glee _club had been enough for her parents to accept. Hell, it'd been a lot for her to expect.

The brunette happened upon Quinn in the living-room one afternoon reading a history of dramatic arts. She had always been fascinated with actresses from film's most profound eras. Of course, the ever-popular Audrey Hepburn. Deborah Kerr. Ginger Rogers. She could see herself in roles like they played – only a little more mindful of circumstances and maybe nearly as funny.

"Ah hah," Rachel drew out the last syllable with a sly grin, and Quinn only rolled her eyes in response. She glanced up at playful brown eyes, wrapped tender fingers around the back of Rachel's neck, and pulled her down for a tender kiss.

Quinn's answering smile communicated the burgeoning of joy she felt at the sight of Rachel, as if she were looking upon her for the first time. "Hello to you, too. I figured you wanted time to fill out your applications in peace."

Rachel nodded, hands behind her back, smoothing out the back of her skirt as she sat. "So you've been thinking about NYADA?"

"Yeah, but the application process. I mean, they're so incredibly selective."

Another nod. "Well, I have kind of a surprise for you." Rachel seemed a little hesitant, as if she thought Quinn wouldn't approve of what she'd done. "I didn't want to overstep my boundaries as your partner but I felt that I truly wanted to help you on your way … like you once did for me. So I may have some applications upstairs for you to look over."

Quinn arched a perfectly manicured eyebrow. She should've probably expected Rachel to help her along, but she'd grown so used to depending on herself over the years that it only made sense to keep herself grounded. "Really?"

"Yes, come look," Rachel slipped her fingers between Quinn's and gently pulled her off of the couch. Leaving no room for dissent, she quickly pulled her up the stairs and into the bedroom they now shared nearly all the time. "So, there are some scholarship applications as well as the application to NYADA. I've filled out all my own, and taken the liberty of filling out all the basic details – name, birth date, and so on – but all you've got to do is write the essays, which obviously I can't do for you."

Quinn felt a slow surprise creep up from her fingers to her heart, and a knot formed in her throat. "Rachel, you've already done so much for me and you – "

Rachel shook her head, stood on her tip-toes, and pressed her lips to Quinn's. Her slender arms looped around the blonde's shoulders, chills following a trail of goosebumps. "Quinn Fabray, I love you more than life itself. We have something … " Quinn felt her breath hitch as Rachel closed the distance with another kiss, "something that defies a normal archetype, something that people look for all their lives. I'm not going to just sit by and let you do everything as if you're still alone." Rachel traced her fingers across Quinn's jawbone and upward to brush her blonde hair behind her ear, "You'll never be alone again."

"Well, damn," Quinn smiled. She kissed Rachel languidly, wrapped her arms tightly around the brunette's waist. "I love you. You're the most … " she swallowed the knot in her throat and closed her eyes to gather herself, "amazing person I have ever known. Thank you."

"Anything for you."

Whether she got into NYADA with Rachel or not, she knew she would follow Rachel to the ends of the earth. They were going to New York – together. Happily ever after and all that. Past-Quinn would never have believed it had someone told her this was her future. She might have even been angry, defiant. Yet here she stood wrapped in a certain brunette's arms. Leave romance to the fairy tales, that's what she would've said.

She supposed her expectations had never mattered in this situation. Rachel had changed her life from the very beginning. She'd repaired old broken parts within Quinn and breathed life into her. High school was ending, indeed had ended effectively when she realized there was much more than classes and popularity and grades. Quinn wasn't going into the future alone. Someone was beside her, fighting with her, and for her. For them, and for a happy ending.


End file.
